Still on the Roller Coaster

I had meant to write something for Father's Day.

My dad was on my mind. He has been a number of times recently, but as always, I think of him more on Father's Day. This time was a bit rougher than usual and I had intended to write something about it, but it just never happened.

My dad passed away a couple of years ago. My mom went several years before that. At times like Father's day, Mother's day, their birthdays and the holidays, my thoughts tend to gravitate toward them. This year, I was thinking about my hopes for what I may one day accomplish through WA, and how I wish my dad could have lived long enough to see me be successful.

I messed up when I was younger. There's no doubt about that. I didn't finish school, which was incredibly dumb.I did high school, of course, and then after that I went on to study Languages and Literature, but didn't complete that course, for a number of different reasons. I started working with the intention of saving up some money before returning to school, but once I started working, I quickly became dependent on that paycheque... I did eventually go back to study this time at a trade school, where I studied electronics. Despite my hopes for that, no great career manifested. In fact, the only thing that course got me was a student debt, which I am still paying 17 years later.

I wish I could have succeeded at something while my parents were still alive. I was thinking about it quite bit over the past few days, but when I sat down to write something on Father's day, I couldn't do it. Instead of thinking about how I had failed my dad, I started thinking about my kids. Father's day this year wouldn't be about my dad, but instead it would be about being a dad.I couldn't be successful in time for my parents to see, but I will do it for my kids.

I believe that WA represents my last, best chance at true success, but having had a number of disappointments over the years, I asked the universe to give me a sign, any kind of sign, that I am finally on the right track.

This morning, I was checking my email and saw one titled Invitation. It took me a moment to figure it out. "Invitation to what?" I asked myself. "Oh, it's from WA... Huh. Must be someone's blog... But it doesn't read the usual 'New Blog Post' or anything..." I clicked on it and still wasn't figuring it out. "Someone accepted my invitation? What invitation?"

Eventually, i managed to piece things together: someone had come to WA from my site.Yes! I was ecstatic! Then I looked at their profile....

Blank. No image. No bio. The user name was "Test" followed by a couple of numbers. So, it seems that whomever it was, they either weren't serious, or maybe didn't see enough to intrigue them, or... I don't know. It was suggested to me that maybe they just took a quick look and will come back later to fully sign up. I hope so.That's the closest I have come yet to a real referral. And if I can get one, I can get more. So, is this my sign from the universe? Is it confirmation that I am on the right track?

Who knows?

Whether it is, or isn't, I am going to look at it in a positive light. I am going to do this because I need to do this. I need to succeed. I need to provide for my family. I need to be a proper husband and a good dad.

So, things continue to go up and down, but I am choosing to look at the high points. The lows always pass in time. I'm going to succeed at this. Maybe not today or tomorrow. Maybe not next week or next month. But I will succeed. And maybe, wherever they might be, my parents will see.