Day 13 - Mother's Day Reflections

bybrichnow21

1.6K followers

5 years ago

Mother's Day, is right around the corner, and the flood gates, of emotions, begin to swell.

May is a mixed bag of "Bittersweet Memories"...

My focus, and message, has been Finding a Niche, fueled, by passion!

"From deep childhood pain, one finds their true life's purpose."

Mother's Day, reminds me of all the great gifts, I inherited from, "MY Mom."
Mom, was born, May 28, on My Grandma's birthday!
She, was the youngest, of 3, with an 8 year, gap. Not, planned!

Not, much Mom, couldn't do! She wore many hats, and loved the mystery of learning!

May 9, 1973, was a culmination, of tragic events,

I was a junior, well on my way to "Teaching the Emotionally Disturbed", my major.
I had a base of Art/Music, for my a minor.

February, I visited, my older brother, Christopher, then 24, in the hospital, for Heptitis "C".

"Baby", he said, "I could lose my life, tomorrow, and it wouldn't matter, to me."

I felt, completely hopeless, to do anything!!

7 long years, of heroine addiction, had completely, drained him. He was, emaciated!

I ticked off in my mind,

• Body is frail
• Reputation is shot
• Spiritually dead

I must concur, I saw and felt the HOPELESS, of his life. This was the last time, I saw or spoke to him.

May 9, 2 months later, my brother was found dead of an over-dose! He was too smart, for a mistake!

This was a CRISIS!

Suddenly, the thought came, "You've been living ith an Emotionally Disturbed child, your whole life! How, stupid, are you! How didn't you know, Barb?"

I acted on a Crisis of faith! ...after, binge drinking a week, I went in and changed, Majors. I went into Dentistry!

I took a complete break!!

Once, I wanted to be a shrink, but I was probably, too dumb for the Medical field.

I was wrong! I entered the newly formed nursing program to take anatomy and physiology.
I'd planned to move back to Detroit, and enter the Dentistry program, next fall, at U of D.

I took a job, as a dental assistant right off campus. Dr Mike, ...a wanna be lawyer, a DDS, to avoid, Vietnam, Fresca, and Vodka, only thing is his fridge!

Dentistry is glorified "mouth plumbing"! Stinky and gross! I don't see doing this forever!!

I went back to my conselor, in Special Ed. and re-entered, as a Future Teacher!

My detour, added 1 1/2 years, to my graduation date! Math/Sciences coursework, combined to give an additional Minor.

My brother was the Einstein, Michelangelo, Van Gogh or Poe! ...in potential! HS graduate, 1966

...an Original, Flower Child, who headed for San Francisco!

"California Dreamin'", ... just came on.

1969, when he returned home, from the realities, of San Francisco, Pot and astrology , were introduced. "Keep the pot, you look like, Bleep! But, astrology?? Tell my more!!

70 year, Marquerite, his astrologer, wrote to my brother THE week he died. " Chris, you're heading for a different life..."

That letter, was received, by my mom.

My brother's tragedy fueled my passion! "Let, me help just one kid!"

Self-Reliance was Mom forte, and my goal, too!

Bittersweet May!

WE buried, my brother May11, day after Mother's Day!

My Mother's ashes, were able finally, able to laid o rest, May 11, 60 years later.

My first son JJ, was born on May 11th, and came home to me, My first Mother's Day!

Bittersweet!

Why, now am I sharing, here at WA?

I turned this tradgey into my Personal Powerhouse!

Failure is a Stepping Stone!

I will begin blogging May 11 on my site!

My Purpose has been re-activated, and now I'm in urgency mode!!

My Passion for my Niche!

Stop, putting this off!!

My messages, need to go to my "Recovery" site!

I've learned and practiced, for the last 2 weeks, and NOW it's TIME, to put my energies where they need to be for MY ultimate purpose.

I must remember my audience, and write to them!

• KISS!
• More time on site articles!
• Less talk at WA
• More action on site!
• Ask WA coomunity for support

I really love this place, so I'll be less out there, but there when You need me!

I have another 8 days, of my 21 challenge. I'll give progress reports!

Topic, rather difficult, so I had to just get it out, or burst!


Thanks, for listening folks!

The Best,

Barb

"Seek to understand, rather than be understood"...St Francis