Leap of Faith

byBKackyrmol

97 followers

4 years ago

Life has a tendency to beat down individuals. I think most people going through life can take a look at themselves and acknowledge that they really are trying their best, and for many, it seems life is just out to get them. This thought process is one that I've always tried to avoid, but if you get burned enough, thoughts can cross your mind such as, "What did I do to deserve this," or "Why can't I just catch a break?" This attitude, though I think it is fair to say everyone has experienced this and is entitled to a bad day every now and then, can be incredibly damaging to an individual. I know, because it took me years to get out of that same mindset which is nothing but an ever growing pit of self-misery and despair. These last few months have taught me a lot about myself as a new healthcare professional searching for employment with no experience during a pandemic.

This is the start of my new chapter. My name is Bryson, but you can call me Bryce or B, whatever you're more comfortable with. I'm a brand new nursing graduate as of May 2020. It took me all summer to secure my first job after I passed the NCLEX. I think it is possibly the most fulfilling work I have ever been a part of and I look forward to going every night, for my graveyard shift no less. I'm a pediatric home health nurse and it is a real blessing to be able to work with the two kids I take care of. My patients have taught me a lot about dealing with what I think are REAL trials. But to understand how they changed my thinking, I have to talk about my ridiculous accident briefly and I will eventually circle back to the point, being what these kids have taught me towards the end of this novel.

The week before I was hired I had sustained an injury to my neck while playing nine square with some friends. As I went up to spike the ball like one would in a volleyball game, I immediately had shooting nerve pain rip through both of my shoulders, arms, and all the way into my fingertips. After a couple of weeks of self-therapy with no progress, I went and had an MRI done. It revealed not one, but two advanced disc herniations in my cervical spine between the C5-C7 vertebrae. Fast forward a couple more weeks and now I'm living daily with chronic, burning pain in my left arm mostly that has recently shifted from the right and it's been miserable. I'm not getting sleep, I'm not able to get comfortable, and I've just been feeling down right depressed. My surgery for artificial disc replacement is scheduled for October 14th and my surgeon is luckily a family friend. However, it doesn't make me any less fearful to be 29 and having somone open me up to work on my spine. It is a terrifying prospect...

Fast forward a few more weeks and here I am with my first two real paychecks in my the career that I've spent the last 6 and a half years studying for. It's more money than I have ever had at my disposal at once, and I feel blessed despite being in constant pain that at times will bring me to tears and to my knees some days. With this extra money that I've never experienced before, I have been looking all over the internet trying to find ways I might be able to multiply and invest it. The stock market seemed like a great place to start, but I also struggle with that concept because you're just leaving your money to fate. I don't like the idea of only hoping that whatever company I've bought into will find great success or just be affordable enough to purchase a single share in. I was looking for something tangible. Something that I could put effort into and enjoy. Maybe I'd even grow to be passionate about it. I ran across some videos late one night on the internet and came across a guy that was trying to explain what an affiliate is and what it could do for me. It was the first time I've heard of this concept. He offered a "free" masterclass to show us all the juicy secrets he had and I woke up early for this two hour class to watch, and hopefully find something, anything that would allow me to live the way I want and to live on my terms. He never honestly shared anything of substance. I was curious about this Clickbank website he'd mentioned, but checked it out and was sketched out by it too. Anyways, by the end of it he started promoting all of his coaching and training products that have an "incredible" 8,000.00$ value and he was gonna give it to me for a "Once In A Lifetime!" deal of 4,000.00$. In short, I was angry that I had wasted time on the same old scam I've fallen for at least a dozen times in the past. I could have been resting before my night shift and I was even angrier to have my hope brought so high just to have them once again crushed by a greedy upseller who loves to promote that thing we've all seen or have had pitched to us, and it might be different for someone else, but it's always to good to be true.

Anger aside, I woke up a few hours later and had some time to kill, so I went back to Clickbank to see if I could figure it out. Then I saw this ad on WA. In my mind I was thinking that this affiliate thing actually sounded pretty cool if it turned out to be true since I could promote things that I actually like, but I had no idea how to start or even where, and the idea of building my own website so I could be an affiliate at all is absolutely overwhelming to me. I then looked up some reviews about WA from outside sources, and I think it is one of the only websites that I've gone looking for a reason to hate, but I couldn't find a single review that had a bad thing to say about it. That kind of left me in shock and I immediately went in, created a profile, did the 4 profile starting recommendations, and then went to work at my night job. I left it alone for about 2 days, but I had answered the "goals" blog Kyle posted and had received a few comments on it from other WA members that made me at first think, "Great, just another website full of bots that are going to upsell me again." I feel that I was fairly wrong. It's simply a community that really wants to give back and support newcomers like me. The hope was starting to grow that this might just be a life changing opportunity for me to get involved in, and it has all the tools laid out for me to be successful ready to go.

Moving to the present, here I am now writing this blog (which is something I never thought I would do, blogging) having just bought this premium membership because it has been nagging me in the back of my mind all day, and hoping it will be something I won't regret. Hoping that just maybe this will be the moment I can look back on and recognize as the moment that changed my life and gave me freedom. Life isn't fair. It's a harsh reality I came to realize a long time ago and have come to terms with. However, just because it isn't fair, it's never been an excuse for a person to take it out on someone else, which is something I see all to often that just leads to this everlasting cycle of beating each other down. And admittedly I'm guilty of this as well, but I am trying to be better all of the time. I've tried to embrace the chronic pain I've been dealing with and the other several injuries I haven't mentioned that have impacted me greatly throughout my life as well, and to turn it into something good. I've desperately tried to have a positive attitude and to use empathy in my life more often. I got into nursing because I'd like to think I care about people more than I realize at times. I've been blessed to have incredible role models in my life that took interest in me as a youth and the bestest of friends that anybody could ask for. They, including my family, have helped me become the man I am today.

Finally circling back to my point I suppose, I've just been thrown into pediatrics, and it was quite frankly the last field I ever wanted to go into. However, I think I was meant to be here because these kids I take care of, who have dealt with some of the worst physical ailments you and I can imagine since birth, leave me feeling nothing but gratitude for what I do have. It wasn't to long ago that I was complaining about the pain I deal with daily and now I look at these kids and they have become my heroes. Why? Because they always have a smile on their faces, and I'm the one that gets to work with them. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting more out of serving them than they are from me taking care of them. In a lot of ways, it makes my pain just a little more bearable.

My operation is going to be in a few short weeks and I realize I am going to have a lot of down time while I recover and take a leave of absence from work. Potentially 1 to 3 months. I haven't been able to get WA out of my mind and all the experiences that have led me up to this moment. So, here I am, taking this leap of faith. I am hoping more than anything that as I put all the effort and hard work I have to give into this, watching and participating in every single training that I can as well as networking with this community, that I can come to know what true financial freedom feels like. I want the ability to give back to those whom I love and care for and to never ask myself what it will cost me when I do so. This is why I'm here. So here's to hope for a better future, to friends I look forward to making along the way, and to the leap I'm already taking. Cheers.