Who are you? What is your version of success?

byYvetteG

299 followers

Updated 8 years ago

I felt that my first blog should be about something I can deeply connect with.

And right now, I feel a deep connection to being CONNECTED.

For many years I lived my life in a certain direction, because I thought it was the 'right' one.

But who decides which direction is right? and why do we feel from birth so propelled toward an 'ideal'?

When I was a child, and people used to ask you that life-shaping question.. 'what do you want to do when you grow up?', I would struggle, and stammer.
Why? Because.. I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, no real identity or sense of 'self'. I liked..even loved, many different things.

We were one of those kind of 'non-descript' families growing up. My Mother was a very humble and shy person, and when she finally left my alcoholising, adultering, abusive father, I was just the small age of 5. We were struggling just to live, and survive..how could we be expected to know who we were?

Who was I? And what would my life be? I was like a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be written upon.

I went to 5 different schools before I became a drop-out with no real certification at 14. I started working at the absolute minimum age allowable in order to make money, and to open doors to my future.

What future? I still didn't know.

I just knew I wanted a direction. My Mother enrolled me into a free children's Community Ballet class when I was 4. I loved it! For about 6 weeks..
But we moved, and it would became the first and last hobby I would ever have until I was over 30 years old. Sad don't you think?

Well, for me, I was so focussed on a 'future' of success, that my sad little past was just that..the past. A pathetic little fading scene in the high-road to 'somewhere!'

Before I hit my 30th birthday, I owned a property that had increased over 300% in value, I was a National Manager for the largest government-owned telecommunications company in the Country, had a great life with an amazing man, I owned a convertible sports car, travelled continually and lived a 'comfortable' life on my terms.

Was I happy? At the time, mostly, yes.

But soon my life would be turned upside down. Financially, emotionally, statistically, geographically.

I thought I had found my identity. high-flying, financially competent, 'together', successful, adored.. this was 'me'. Right?

Well as we know.. no matter what your circumstance, things can change course. Suddenly your comfort zone, can be totally pulled out from under your feet, by that sometimes unfair, and uncompromising thing called 'life'.

Was I angry? disappointed? devastated? Absolutely.
Time started to pass, as it does.. and what was left, was a deep sense of loss.
For years.. and then some more.

Who was I now? without these 'things' that had become my identity. I had no clue.

Was I a 'has-been'? Of something once great? Past the peak of my life..and on the way down?

The truth is, we may never stop learning, stop growing, finding out who we are.
What we are capable of.

But what I know is.. regardless of who we 'think' we are, where we've come from, our set-backs, our lack of education, status, or finances. We can shape our future as we wish.

Does the definition of 'success' mean earning over 6 figures per annum? Or having a BIG house, and the 'perfect' life on the surface.
I can speak from experience when I say, absolutely not.
If you have those things, I believe you're possibly fortunate at that time of your life, and have many things to be thankful for. But this kind of success can also work against you, making you complacent, lazy, selfish, arrogant. Not always, but you're at greater risk.

I believe most of us spend our life learning, trying to figure out the best version of ourselves, and that may even just be penniless, but deeply connecting with who we are and those we love.

I have realised, that buying into the marketing hype that is the 'perfect life' is a sham. Few possess it, and it does not make you a failure if you don't.

Live your life the best you can right now, today.

Be kind, be open-hearted, be willing, be courageous. If you remain true to your values, anything else that happens that may throw you off-course for awhile, will just a be set-back. This is life, and that's all. Unpredictable, and indiscriminating.

I have been re-reading my all-time favourite book.. 'the art of deliberate Success'.. by Dr David Keane. An inspiring author, who's book made a massive difference in my life.

One of my 'ah-ha' moments, was this..
"A deliberate life is one where the person actively chooses certain ways of thinking and acting. This is contrast to a passive life, where the person feels like a victim of circumstance without any real choice or control over what happens to him or her".

My thoughts?.. we are always figuring out who we are, what we are capable of.
But if we open our minds to the idea, that life is what we make it, we are always growing, we are always learning, we are THEN.. in my opinion, over half way there.
Understanding that life shapes us, that it's always changing.. but that we are always an active participant,..I think helps us, become the best version of ourselves.

We are Entrepreneur's.
Definition?

"A person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk".

I like that word.. Initiative. I think so many lack it, and so they live their lives in a box. And there's nothing wrong with that. If that's the version that allows them to be the best version of them.

If not.. take initiative, take risk.. it's the road less-travelled, but usually, the most rewarding.
Be the best version of YOU. Whatever that may be if it's good and moral and kind, and gives you contentment and joy at the end of your day.

This is your version of success.