The dilemma that changed my life. (Important)

byWongton

79 followers

Updated 6 years ago

It was around week 6 in my university, I was completely struggling in my course, despite getting help from friends, tutors, lecturers and more, I can't really seem to grasp the concept of what I was learning. (since I'm in engineering)

I was literally falling behind while others seem to find the content a piece of cake, or maybe it's just me; went to a really poorly-managed high school, teachers sometimes would not be in class due to some occassions, constantly changing teachers and whatnot, so at the end I really had to depend on myself and my other friends if I wanted to pass.

In fact I did, but something was still missing from my heart although I was really happy that I managed to pass the hardest subjects.

I was really into hands-on stuff such as graphic design, video editing, designing websites with wix, etc. But I entered engineering instead.

The reason that I actually entered engineering is that it's not just because of my heart, but by manipluation from my friends, and some family members as well.

'You wanted to go for Film? That's not going to give you a job, please be realistic! Maybe do IT or Engineering, that can guarantee you a job!'

'It doesn't always guarantee success even if you go out of your country to study.'

'Pilot? What do you mean? What happens if you die?'

As a very clueless teenager who was still unknown of my directions, I decided to accept their words, and went straight into engineering without any uncertainty.

But I started to 'run out of sight' as the weeks went by.

I realized that this was not the path I wanted to go to, and yet others told me to have perserverance and not giving up as you will get used to it.

Yes, I do understand that term, but the problem is,

If I do not have a dream or a goal to achieve, how am I going to continue moving, that's just wasting time and it's completely pointless. (I dont' know about your opinions) I wasn't into engineering as well, or maybe, never.

I was manipulated by it.

Yes, I might be still immature, but it's better for me to do something that I love, which can be achieveable and expandable for my knowledge, then failing but knowing how to rise up, rather than going through an empty path where there's no destination at the end.

So I decided to change my major for the next semester, and I was completely afraid to tell my parents about it, (You know, typical Asian culture when it comes to university majors and careers) as well as other people start judging behind on how immature I am for giving up stuff so easily. (That's because being an engineer is not my goal to be achieved.)

At the same time, I never really spoke up if anything happened since I grew up in an environment where people would gossip about anything.

But I decided to cross the line, knowing that there's no way back, I told my mom and my dad.

'Ma, Pa, Engineering is not for me, I can't stand it anymore.'

Instead of receiving some 'lecture' where my parents would go mad at me for quitting engineering, I heard these voices from my mom instead.

'Don't worry son, mom and dad will support you, just do what you love doing.'

After the conversation ended with a few more words, I literally bawled for an hour.

This was the first time I've ever spoken up to someone, and I was relieved from doing that.

But before that conversation happened, a lot of things went through my head.

'What would my friends say?'

'What would my parents say?'

'Should I really change it? I don't want to feel bad for my parents.'

That's because where I'm from, people will like you if you're fake, and hate you if you're being real / being yourself, and I got used to that certain environment for 10 years.

Back again, I was completely relieved that I was able to change to a university major that I wanted to be in:

Media and Communications. Yes, I'm more of a people-oriented peson rather than a machine-oriented one, I want to be truly who I want to be, I want to reach to my goals although the journey may not always be smooth.

And also, there's no more listening to other people's judgements that can drag you down.

This leads to where I am today, typing this blog post which I can share it to you guys. I know there will be different opinions, but I respect the differences between us. So at the end, there's no limit on what you love doing, just continue doing it! Even if people try to drag you down, take them out in your lives, screw their judgment and ignorant words, and most importantly, be yourself.

Thanks for reading! If you have any different opinions, feel free to comment below!