Self-esteem mastery-why the practice of living purposefully improves your self-esteem

byWelcomeMM

658 followers

2 years ago

We all have self-esteem and the difference is whether it's high or low. It may also be average because average is the best of the worst and the worst of the best.

I have been in meetings where I wanted to say something, but ended up saying nothing. Then I would find myself holding a meeting outside with my colleagues how the chairperson or someone was wrong about their ideas and mine were the best ideas. You know such meetings after the official meeting or office gossip?

You may have heard the saying, "Get out of your head" or "Say what's on your mind" just like on Facebook. Do your really say what is in your mind, or it's a sifted version of what your truly wanted to say?

How do your feel after telling a softer version of what your really wanted to say?

Self-esteem is honoring yourself, trusting your ability to think and being worthy of happiness according to Nathaniel Branden.

I had an opportunity to work with a great work mate from Spain-Madrid in the project. At first, it was hard adjusting to his language and his way of doing things. He was a now kind of person and could accept "No" for an answer. I would find myself torn in between myself as a head of department and also meeting the project demands.

He always believed there is a way to overcome every obstacle and he would push harder and at all costs.

He was not about perfection but was always happy that something was done and there was progress.

"It is better to do something than do it perfectly"-Arthur

Working with someone like this was a highlight of my internal fears and some low self-esteem elements. With him it was always about the goal of the project and nothing really personal.

"It always seems hard and impossible until it is done" - Nelson Mandela

So... I started the practice of the 5th Pillar of Self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden

The Practice of living purposefully is to take the responsibility to live your life in your own terms. It is following your heart and your head to achieve your own dreams, wishes, goals and choices.

The hardest thing I have observed with myself is gaining clarity of what I really want.

What do your want?

If your don't know and your are not sure, just find what your don't want.

I knew I didn't want to have a popping belly on my stomach when I am 50 plus.

I also didn't want to have less than 5 figure balance on my bank account because I first hated the idea of being used to being broke or not having money just like my parents. I have felt the energy and great feeling I had when I had money and being unlimited as to what I could do.

I also did not want to live and work faraway from my family, I wanted to be a present father who will help my kids with their homework and attend their school games.

Being Productive

The practice of living purposefully is your ability to live competent and productivity (Producing+Activity) is a way to feel efficacy and apply your mind. When your have goals and dreams, then productivity is the discipline required to achieve your dreams.

"The best way to predict your future is to create it"-Peter Drucker

Living Purposefully entails

I) Intentionally formulating your own goals- What do your really want for your own life?

II) Identify actions which align with your goals- What is actions are required to achieve your goals?

III) Monitor your behavior if it's in line with your actions and alignment with your goals.

When I decided to eliminate my debt and create a five figure bank balance, I began to monitor my weekly expenditure. I decided on reducing my intake of coke and chocolate and reducing my eating out to at least 2 outings a week. I saved my weekly savings on chocolate and coke which was R260-00 per week and this amounted to R1040 per month. The end of the year I had saved R12480-00. The feeling of making a purchase from your card and see 10000-00 is so amazing. For the first time I went on a week holiday without swiping my credit card.

Monitoring your behavior is critical and have fun doing it.

I felt so much happy on Fridays when I would transfer R260-00 into my Five Figure Savings Fund.

IV) Pay Attention to the Outcomes of Your Actions

Steven R. Coffee, in his book, "Seven Habits of Highly Succesful People", writes about the habit of starting with the end in mind (Vision). He cited a metaphor of an airplane flight and how 95% of the time it is off-course during the flight. However, the pilot continuously check all his instruments to steer the plane closer to the course as possible.

Living purposefully is living with higher level of consciousness. We do not live by chance and hope, but it is intentional living and creating our blockbuster lifestyle.

Your outcomes or results are just a feedback about your actions. Paying attention to our outcomes helps us to re-evaluate our assumptions and adjust our inputs.

"Every obstruction is an instruction"-Anonymous

"Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path"-Anonymous

Every Friday morning for the past 2 years, I remind myself by lighting a green candle as a reminder of this 5th pillar of self-esteem and to increase my level of consciousness in the practice of living purposefully.

I also do a sentence completion exercise of the following stems:

What does living purposefully mean to me ------ (complete six endings)

If I bring 5 percent more purposefullness into my life today __________________ (complete sentence with 6 endings)

Then I go on living my life