Remembering

19 followers

13 years ago

Today - amidst all the brain overload and excitement for WA - it came to mind that today - a year ago on this day - I was last able to speak to my mom.She passed unexpectedly about two weeks later.

It was a great conversation; we typically didn't have good discussions. We were always civil, but I usually felt that calling mom was something I had to do - a duty. She always wanted to hear from me. She reached out to me much more often that I did her.

But this day, I wanted to call her. I had been thinking about how I made her feel and not how I felt. I realized that she didn't feel like a good mother and that I don't think I did enough to convince her otherwise. Today, I told her how I felt. I told her that she was a great mom, now and when I was growing up. I thanked her for her sacrifices; I asked forgiveness.

We spoke for more than an hour - a fun hour filled with real talking and laughter. I thought it was just a great conversation.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

David Harkins