4 Awesome Things to Remember about being a Single Mom

byVernayW

343 followers

Updated 10 years ago

1. We can CELEBRATE being a single mom

ingle parents don’t get discouraged. Just because you are doing it by yourself doesn’t mean you have to sulk. I am a very sensitive woman and in tune with my emotions. I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. This is just who I am. BUT, that doesn’t mean us single mothers should be down. No. Take full control of you life! Don’t let family or society make you second guess yourself. Be PROACTIVE. Do things that make you happy and bring encouragement for the better. Don’t just work all the time. Sometimes we can get caught up in that. Remember, you were a woman before you became a mother. We can find strength and growth in this.

2. Our Kids are Stronger

Fighting for survival can cause your family to become real close. Others may argue that it is not good for children because it makes them mature quicker then they would if they were residing in a household with two parents. But kids from a single-parent home have to organize and rely on each other, the closeness that occurs is undeniable. Just as if you were in a work relationship or church organization, family teams have to work together. That is exactly what happens in single parent homes; kids learn the value of teamwork and being dependable.

3. We Have the Advantage

Us single moms are superheroes and our children believe we are! They see us scrape to advance and sometimes have to forefit stuff including opportunities so we can help them with that science project. What gives us the advantage is, many of us moms have the option to raise our children with the morals, beliefs, character and life skills they choose– without the concern of someone else’s contrasting views undermining us. Our kids remember who was there helping them with their homework, cooking, cleaning, getting them to piano lessons and scheduling our work shifts to be at their recital. Trust me, my kids never let me hear the end of it when I didn’t show up. They have impeccable memories. Sometimes, I hear my oldest two talk about how they would fib and call my work office to get out of school or complain to their grandmother so they get out of responsibilities I gave them. They do remember as they get older how you gave up that overtime shift or lost pay just to take care of them while they had the flu or, helped them with their college and scholarship applications. Your labor of love is not in vain and does not go unnoticed.

4. Kids are Likely to be more Independent

All of us want our children to learn to succeed in adversity because their future depends on it. Growing up in a house of girls, (I myself have three sisters), my father wasn’t always absent. Due to his occupation, he traveled frequently in and outside of our great country. In my childhood, my family attended a church where traditional roles were emphasized. There were “man things” to do and “woman things.” I assertively teach my daughters different.

I have three children–all daughters. In addition to their schoolwork, they have chores around our household which include taking out that stinky trash. We have to kill bugs (which we hate) and we all have climbed on ladders and lift couches. We moved all our furniture into our home from another state. My kids have learned about independence, about teamwork through this. We light our own gas grill. No I am not a feminist but female strength is worth nurturing, and it just happens organically in an all-gal house.

These are my reasons for celebrating single motherhood. Although it can be difficult, I want to convey to others like me that just because you are a single parent doesn’t mean you can’t access the best things out of life. I’ve learned that it is all about how you’re thinking. Show your children how happy they can be, by celebrating who YOU are.