A Good & Faithful Man

byUE2

84 followers

Updated 10 years ago

PART 1

It's been nearly one year since I lost my father. I can't say it was a peaceful passing, because he fought so hard just to keep breathing. I will always remember, that day in the hospital, the way he looked at me when I told him he was coming home. I am not sure if it was sadness or joy or the realization that there was absolutely nothing left that anyone could possibly do to help him get better. I signed the release paperwork & he would be returning home in the evening by ambulance.

It really would not be fair to simply call my dad a good man. He was so much more than that. Not only did he do extraordinary things for his family, he was faithful to God & we were all extraordinarily blessed to have him in our lives. Most of my life is a blur when I try to look back in time, but there are always special moments that I shared with my dad that I will remember with almost perfect clarity. One of my favorite memories was when I was running track in Junior High School & he raced me down the cinder track. There was also the time when he saw a coach grab me by the face mask of my football helmet & tug on it a few times... daddy to the rescue!

Needless to say, there were many preparations that needed to be attended to for my father to come home. Most of the preparations were specifically for his care and included an enormous addition of medical equipment that would be needed to help keep him alive. The young fellow that was having to set-up all the equipment must have been kind of new at his job - maybe the first time without supervision. He was a bit slow & awkward... and his cell phone battery died - I loaned him a charger & was surprised that I actually had an adapter that would work for his phone. Mom was worried that we would not have all the preparations ready in time, but it worked out because God had His own plans in place to slow the ambulance down - road construction!

There were so many things that happened, that had gone wrong, in the last few years of my fathers life - so very many things that it is hard to assign blame. I blamed a doctor for a bad surgical procedure, my dad for doing stupid things after the surgery, the new ACA legislation that caused my parents to be dropped from their health care plans. I also managed to find some blame for my mother & then I carved out a really big piece of blame for myself!

The sun had not yet begun set when the ambulance arrived at the house - the new house that my mom had especially designed & built so that my dad could finally return from the nursing home he was staying at. Under the circumstances, we knew my dad was not going to be with us much longer, but we pulled out all the stops. Dad was home & we were going to do everything we possibly could for him. When everything was settled & in place for the night, I left - but not after I told my father that I loved him.

There have been many instances when I hear about how loved ones have missed an opportunity to say goodbye to family or someone they love. I did not have that chance with my sister & I am still heartbroken over it. There was a time I could have said goodbye to my grandparents, but I was too afraid to visit them at the nursing home - I have determined that I was rather selfish or cowardly at the time. Unfortunately, I have lived a very selfish life - full of regrets. If I could only be half the man my father was...

Mom called a few hours after I had returned to my place to let me know dad was having problems breathing. This was not unexpected, but I had to go back and see what I could do to help him. After it looked like things were were under control, I went back to my place. I had to try and get some sleep or it would be a really difficult work day. I was out the door again a few hours later on my way to work. It was a really short work day. My father did not make it through the night and I added another name to my blame list - God!