Success Comes Down to this
Either you will take charge of your life and accept responsibility for it, or you won’t...................................................
There’s no perfect formula for success, no one-size-fits-all solution that will magically work for everyone.
As someone who’s lived for more than seven decades, I’ve learned a few things that most self-help gurus avoid saying, the hard way.
Luck Plays a Role in Success
I’ve seen it throughout my life. Sometimes things just fall into place, and sometimes they don’t, no matter how much you plan or push. I’ve watched others follow the exact same path I did and end up in completely different places.
What can we do about it?
We can increase our chances of success by staying the course, by simply showing up day after day. The longer we stick with something, the more we are able to tip the odds in our favor.
Charlie Munger put it beautifully:
"Slug it out one inch at a time, day by day. At the end of the day — if you live long enough — most people get what they deserve."
Time and effort can minimize the role luck plays, but luck will always have its say. I’ve seen it in my life and in the lives of those around me. But we can still stretch the horizon of possibilities by being persistent.
Luck is indefinable, imagine watching a tennis match. The ball hits the net and it bounces long the top of the net the first time tipping to one side of the court. It bounces off and then hits the nest again and nearly drops to the other side of the court. It ricochets on an off that net may be seven or eight times. Eventually it falls but as you watch it you know it can topple on either side of the court. Anyone who has ever seen a Martina Navratilova match will know what I mean. If you are old enough to have seen her play Billy Jean King you will have seen that many times in the match.
Time and effort can minimize the role luck plays, but luck will always have its say. I’ve seen it in my life and in the lives of those around me. But in my opinion we can still stretch the horizon of possibilities by being persistent. Show up everyday if only for ten minutes and do something. All
You’ll Be Judged for Your Immutable Characteristics
It’s true. We live in a world where we’re judged for things we cannot change. These include but are not restricted to our skin color, gender, age, and appearance. Even I, a white woman, have felt judgment in ways that might surprise some people.
Society certainly offered me certain privileges, simply because of my skin color and the fact I grew up in Europe. That didn’t protect me from the expectations placed on me for being a woman, or later in life, an “older” woman. In a world obsessed with youth, aging disgracefully hasn’t always been easy.
But here’s the question:
What are you going to do about it? Are you going to let it stop you. Some people tell themselves the story that the fact that they are a fat, back male means that they are consigned to the scrap heap.
That is a story you are telling yourself because you are
broke,
broken,
a single mother,
disabled,
LGBTQ,
a single father,
an alcoholic,
an immigrant,
a ex offender
The choice is ENDLESS, everyone of you can double that list in a heartbeat.
So do you Accept that Story?
or are you going to push ahead anyway?
I’ve experienced that uncomfortable feeling of being overlooked due to age or appearance. Yet, I chose to keep striving and to shape my life in the way I wanted.
Yes, biases exist, but they are not the whole story.
Hard work, passion, and perseverance and persistence still carry weight.
Success and Hard Work Aren’t Always Correlated
I’ve worked hard in my life, and I’ve seen others work equally hard, yet their outcomes were different. Some of it was due to timing or connections, some of it was sheer luck.
Some of them have made more than me,
Some less.
As Morgan Housel, an investor and writer, said to his son:
"Not all success is due to skill. Not all poverty is due to laziness."
I know it’s easy to feel frustrated when success doesn’t seem to match the effort we’ve poured into something. But, we have to make peace with the fact that hard work doesn’t always guarantee success—though it certainly increases the odds.
Start from where you are, with what you have, and do the best you can without beating yourself up over things you can’t control.
I know that some of you feel the need to be in control of everything, but control is an illusion .
We Need People in Every Role to Make Society Work
I’ve lived long enough to realize that society needs all kinds of people in all kinds of roles. Someone needs to teach our kids, fix our roads, stock our groceries, and yes, even take out our trash. These jobs may not seem glamorous, but they are vital. Some one has to fix the drains.
We can’t all live on private yachts or be “lifestyle entrepreneurs,” sipping cocktails on the beach. And frankly, not everyone wants to. There’s no shame in choosing a path that doesn’t align with society’s idea of “success.”
i have been a permanent traveler for years and have never been near a yacht.
I have lived and had businesses, real businesses on four continents. I have had friends who were teachers, nurses, and laborers, and they’ve lived full, meaningful lives. They chose a different path, and that’s okay.I have friends who have earned $2,000 an hour as consultants.
You still have the freedom to choose the life you want to live, regardless of what others expect. The beauty of life is in its diversity of experiences and dreams. But you have to make those dreams happen.
You Can’t Do Anything You Put Your Mind To
This is one I’ve had to learn the hard way. No matter how much I “put my mind to it,” I’ll never be 30 again, or learn new things as fast as I used to. And as much as I’d like to sing like Adele or paint like Picasso, it’s just not going to happen.
But here’s the good news:
While you may not be able to do everything, there is still a wide range of possibilities that you can pursue—given enough time and dedication.
There have been arguments here about whether everyone can learn marketing. I have had my fracas with Prince Partha who always said not everyone can learn marketing.
I disagree everyone CAN , but here is the caveat. Not everyone wants to put in the time and effort it takes to understand a skill that might be totally outside of your life experience.
You can start a business, take care of your health, or build meaningful relationships. At 70, I’ve realized it’s not about doing everything, but about doing the things that matter the most to you.
I have spent nearly 25 years traveling the world with a rucksack on my back. Fortunately, for me not everyone wants to do that. I can still find remote place where few tourists want to go. Would I personally choose Mozambique or Kenya, me personally would choose Mozambique precisely because 99 percent of people would choose Kenya.
Success depends on the choices you make and why you make those choices.
Purpose is Only Part of the Puzzle
Purpose has become a buzzword in self-improvement, as if finding your ultimate purpose will fix all your problems. It won’t.(As I am sure most of you realize.
You don’t need to spend your entire life searching for that one purpose. You likely have many potential purposes, all of which can bring meaning to your life.
You will never be just a sister, or a mother, or a daughter or a social worker, or an alcoholic.
You are not defined by any of those roles, you have many roles in society and sometimes all at once.
I’ve found purpose in many different things at many stages of my life, building a life on my terms, that started when I was about 5. I had worked out by then that I didn't think like other people . My purpose in life evolved over decades and is still evolving, but the one constant is I will always sing to the beat of my own drum.
Don’t wait for some grand epiphany—start doing things you care about, and you’ll find your purpose in the process.
We’re Just as Insecure as You Are
Here’s a little secret: those of us who write about self-improvement are often trying to improve ourselves, too. Many of my articles have stemmed from my own struggles and insecurities.
So why listen to me or anyone else when we’re just as flawed as you are?
Because the advice still works. The lessons are valuable, even if they’re difficult to follow. In fact, the best advice is often the hardest to implement.
I’m not perfect, and neither are you, but that’s okay. We’re all here trying to make life a little better, one step at a time.
We are fortunate in this family that we are a family . There are many people here who can help you. Help you that is the important bit you have you have to take control yourself and decide to do the work.
Final Thoughts
Life is tough, no doubt about it. Everyone has challenges, whatever their race, color, creed or status. But you still have to live it.
That voice inside you—the one telling you there’s more you want to do—won’t go away. So listen to it. Take cautious steps if you must, but keep moving forward. Baby steps is enough.
If you do nothing you will get nothing, but if you are brave enough to try, nothing is in stone. You can change your writing style, it will naturally get better the more you do it. You can change your blog design.
Stay open to advice that resonates with you, but always use your own judgment. After all, this is your life, and only you can live it.
Recent Comments
24
I have loved the way you describe real life experiences!!It is true that those who write self-help books tend to emphasize one side i,e,, "do not give up, persist and you will finally succeed, e.t.c" Yes luck plays its part. As for me, I have also realized that time and the place can also dictate what one should do!!
As one who has travelled a lot, I am sure you have seen many business opportunities in some countries which the natives do not see!! Should you be given the chance to open up them, success may be assured. But time and place in such situations are the limiting factors. Sometimes, Capital, although I have heard many say that your brain is your capital, that too, can be debated.
Overall, thank you for using your experience to educate some us. You are senior to me and your experiences in life are about fifteen year superior. When you talk, I listen. Have a great day and be blessed.
Take care
Joseph
Great article Catherine and so very true! For myself I’ve found “taking action” and “failing” and “changing/learning” from the failures is the key to my success.
But because I’ve found “taking action” is essential… I’m constantly reminding myself to “JUST DO IT”!
Whether it’s in the right direction or not, it’s moving forward and I’ll learn from it. Because the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things and expect a different outcome.
😎👍😊
That was a great Match! Martina vs Billie Jean King...
And yes, we csn only do so much, sometimes we are successful, and sometimes we just miss it...
It's what we do to manage either of those options.
The stringer we get in our decision making, the better we are ro know when to keep going, or when to stop and try a different approach or direction altogether.
Lots to think about, Catherine. Thanks for sharing!
Rudy
Thank you, Rudy and there was more than one epic battle between those two, but i remember one it was either Wimbledon or the US Open that was incredible,
You're welcome, Catherine.
a link:
https://youtu.be/wOn-sBCr1LA?feature=shared
Wimbledon 1980 quarter finals.
Enjoy...again!
Hi Catherine! Nice post!
I like this line: Don’t wait for some grand epiphany—start doing things you care about, and you’ll find your purpose in the process.
That's exactly what we did, and here we are. The reward has been amazing!
Thanks, Catherine. We are living the dream because of some of the things you mentioned. We are blessed!!
Best wishes to you!
See more comments
Great post, Catherine!👍
I was brought up to enjoy life as much as possible, and that has served me well for 70 years.
I’ve worked hard and made a good living, but found balance in always making time for the things I love to do.
I’m not really a big “money motivated” kind of guy, which has allowed me to focus on the bigger picture of life’s simple pleasures and treasures.
Yes, luck will always play its part, but the key is to take advantage of the good luck and work around the tough breaks to achieve the best possible outcome.
I admit, I’ve had more than my share of good luck, but I try to balance that by “giving back” whenever possible.
If we make this world a better place, even in some small way, then it’s “mission accomplished.” 😎
Frank 🎸
I totally agree FGrank. I don't know about you as I age I feel the need to give more back. When we are younger and building careers/businesses/families etc there isnt time so much but now I have plenty of time to think how I can best give back
My thoughts exactly, Catherine! 👍😎
Frank 🎸