Choose

byselene12171

253 followers

11 years ago

I have been a spectator of my actions, of my decisions and of my emotions lately. I carefully analyze my fear, anger, my worries when I face something and I am dumbfounded by the reactions that I manifest each and every time. I realize that I make a choice daily on how to react to certain circumstances, I am the only one responsible for my reactions at the end of the day.

I recently was in a car accident; a tractor trailer side-swept me and though I did not suffer not one injury (miraculously), it left a deep scar in me that has virtually paralyzed me from getting in my car to even go grocery shopping. My fiance tries to encourage me, telling me these things happen and it won't happen again but the truth is that it might. Am I now a magnet for tractor trailers? Am I destined to be side swept again? Who knows, but this belief is stuck in my mind and I am living it everyday. Though many may say to my defense that this is normal, trauma is something that can't be avoided but I do have a choice in changing that. How? By actively choosing to not be afraid; getting in my car and finding what soothes me, music, breathing, a friend in the passenger seat, anything to help me. I need to actively choose what will benefit me in the long run, not choose what will hinder my growth in the future.

Many times we choose what feels safe, what feels right for us at the moment but we seem to forget the big picture. We are missing out on the world when we do this, we are missing out on being happy. Let go of the fear and choose happiness. It's hard but the more you push and tell yourself that fear doesn't govern your life, each day will be easier and easier to choose what is best for you.

There is a Sanskrit Proverb that I try to live by:

“Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day. Such is the salutation to the dawn.”