Even when it hurts

bySasaEvans1

160 followers

3 years ago

Today I lost my mom. My mom and I shared a birth date. Those are the little things which will always remind me of her. When I heard that my mom had passed I did not cry even if it hurt. I knew she had been suffering and in immersurable pain, and I was even secretly asking God to either heal her if it was His will or take her to eternal peace.

Even if it hurt to even think of life without my mom, I had to let her go. I couldn't bare the suffering she was enduring with no solution in sight. My strong beautiful mom who did not let anything dampen her spirit had also given up.

She had already said her good byes, told me how much she loved and appreaciated all I have done and was still doing for her. My beautiful and strong mom was now but skin and bones. But I admire her that even when it hurt she was certain she will follow Jesus up to the end.

It hurts me to even think about her today. I kept myself busy with preparations today so I wouldn't fall apart. Even if it hurt so much to even think that I won't see her again until we meet in heaven.

I remember the last words she said to me. "Farewell my child, look after your siblings as well as my grandchildren." I replied, "I will mamma" even when it hurt to listen to those goodbye which had a finality to them. But I knew that if I did not give that promise to her she will linger on.

I remember when my daddy passed away 17 years ago, when mamma called me to come visit telling me that my daddy had something he wanted to talk to me about. I delayed going home thinking that if I did my daddy will not pass he will still wait for me. My mamma in her wisdom asked me what was better; to know what he wanted to say or to live the rest of my life wondering what if.......

This was the thought which made me make the promises and show my momma that I understood and I am up to the task of being the family matriach when she is gone, even if it hurt to bid her farewell.

Till we meet mamma, rest in peace with Jesus.