Honoring Dads and Fatherhood
"Fathers Day" is this weekend, most of us will be looking to honor our fathers in some way with dinner, gifts, or a simple card. I would like to share my opinion of the day as divorced father. I am not the only divorced father or parent. What I have seen and heard over the past few years. I maybe just one of the low percentage that actually care about what happens to their children after a divorce.
The quote below has given me the inspiration for the following post.
What does this quote truly mean?
Here is one of the best definition to define the difference between the two:
"A father is the male parent of the child; its progenitor. They share DNA with the child, but he may or may not share responsibility in the child’s growth and development. Dad is a term of affection and familiarity. Dad is someone who actively participates in the child’s growth and development."
As a father you have one job, to donate the "DNA" or the sperm in order for the child to be conceived. A persevered notion is that the father will protect, support, and that responsibility of the children. The father figure within a family has, in the past, the role of how a child was to grow up.
However, by definition, not all father will remain involved in the lives of the children. Some father's decide that once the child is born their job is done. The connection between a father and the children will always be through DNA, something you can never change. If a father does not know his child's likes and dislikes or how the child preforms in school.
How can he be considered a DAD?
A DAD is someone that is actively involved in their children's lives. A DAD coaches, goes on school field trips, and makes time to be with his children. If some families the "DAD" figure is not always male.That should not be a surprise to people in the day and society. Whether you are for or against the fact, society has changed and some families can be made of 2 females to where a "DAD" could possibly female in a family.
I consider myself a DAD before a father. WHY? Over the past few years since my divorce I have done everything within my power to remain part of my boys lives. Yet my now ex-wife has been doing everything she can to prevent this from happening. Everything for not advising me of a doctors appointment to trying to get me removed as a coach.
Unfortunately, in the eye of the judicial system I am a father before a DAD. What I mean is that I have been told indirectly, to work more than I currently do (an average of 42 hours a week) to pay an increase in child support. While my ex-wife can continue to work less than 15 hours a week and is not being asked to work more. How is this fair?
A brief look at my past over the years before the divorce. I, as the DAD, took my boys on vacations annually, coached sports, was involved in school activities, and even took time off from work for an overnight school field trip. I worked 3 and occasionally 4 jobs just to provide for my boys while continuing to be a role model for them.
While this post is about Fathers Day. I have gone and given you a small look at the difference, in my opinion, between a father and a DAD.
A Father will provide the DNA and will always have a that connection with a child. Your father will always be your father no matter the circumstances, good, bad or other. The father may only be part of the equation in limited or non existence forms. You may never see or hear from your father. Which maybe his choice or yours. But he will always be your father, and that is something you can never change.
A DAD will provide for you in good time and in bad. Your DAD will be there when you need him, either in the next room or just a phone call away. DAD may not be your father, but he will be the one that will always be by your side. The one that has shown you right from wrong and good from bad. DAD may not be the one that provided the DNA. But he was the one that provided you the person the guidance for the past, the present and your future. The one who was ALWAYS THERE!!!
What does it mean to you as a father, a DAD, or as a child?
This post is dedicated to:
My DAD~ Wesley Sagendorph
My GRANDDADS: Wilson Sagendorph & Robert Stafford
Recent Comments
3
Sag This is something that sometimes we all need to be reminded of. Sometimes Dads are so busy trying to bring an income into the family that they forget the points mentioned. Children really don't care whether you are rich or poor they just want you to be a DAD to them and LOVE them!! Note- I know today there are plenty MOMS that are also trying to bring in an income as well so I wanted to recognize that also.have a great day!!
Very true. I have gone through a lot in the last few years. I work, my x very little. I see your point about moms. Totally agree. My girlfriend is having some personal issues after a car accident last year. Her x is useless. Her daughter has seen her father sees her when he feel he has the time.
I bust my hump to see my boys. He could care less if he sees his daughter. I pay almost $200 a week for each boy. He only pays $100 a week when he feels like it.
Sorry the whole thing upsets me of father and DAD. Which is why I believe a in the simple fact. A father is, in no other terms, a sperm donor. A DAD gives everything from the heart and is priceless.