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The future is closer than we may think. Are we ready for the new reality?

This spoof transcript made me laugh and is meant to be humourous, but how close is it to a new reality?

Call Center: Hi, this is Google Pizza, how may I help you?

Mr.Smith: Google what?

Call Center: Google Pizza. What would you like to order?

Mr.Smith: But I was calling Papa Luc's Pizza...

Call Center: That’s right, it used to be Papas. Google is the new owner, and we are now offering a full range of services!

Mr.Smith: Great! Can you take my order?

Call Center: Absolutely! Your usual?

Mr.Smith: My usual? How do you know?

Call Center: We have your caller ID; in the last 53 calls from this number the order was for a large Hawaiian Pizza with extra cheese and ham, and also a super cold large bottle of Coke.

Mr.Smith: Wow, that’s something new! … Ok, all the same order!

Call Center: Excuse me, can I make a suggestion?

Mr.Smith: Sure!

Call Center: Do you know our new full menu?

Mr.Smith: No

Call Center: We have the most comprehensive menu. I would recommend you a cottage cheese and salad pizza with a bottle of low-salt carbonated water.

Mr.Smith: Cottage cheese and salad? Low salt? I hate these things! Are you nuts?

Call Center: That’s understandable, it’s for your own health. Besides, your cholesterol is very high...

Mr.Smith: How do you know?

Call Center: Our company maintains the largest database on Earth. With your phone number we know your name and can access your medical test records....

Mr.Smith: I don't give a damn about your database! I don't want your cheese-and-salad pizza! I take proper medications and therefore I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want! Is that clear?

Call Center: Sorry, but recently you weren't taking your medications.

Mr.Smith: How on earth do you know? Are you spying on me?

Call Center: Not at all! We happen to be managing databases for all city pharmacies, and the last time you filed your prescription was 3 months ago. And, there were only 30 pills in the bottle.

Mr.Smith: Damn your right! But how did you know?

Call Center: From your credit card records...

Mr.Smith: What?

Call Center: Well, every time you pay with your credit card at the pharmacy, we know. We maintain all the records. Over the last 3 months, you haven’t purchased anything at the pharmacy, but you have used your card in other places. Which means you haven't lost or replaced it.

Mr.Smith: Son of a gun… But what if I paid cash? Ah?

Call Center: Impossible. You’re only paying cash $100 a week to your maid. As for the rest, you are only paying with your credit card

Mr.Smith: You *********! How do you know how much I'm paying to the maid?

Call Center: Well, she is paying social insurance...

Mr.Smith: Go to hell!

Call Center: It's up to you. Sorry for your disappointment, but all this information is right here on my screen, and I'm only trying to be helpful. You'd better visit your doctor, and fine-tune your dosage because according to last month tests...

Mr.Smith: Listen, you… I’m fed up with you, your computers, your databases and the Internet! And Google, and Facebook, and Twitter, and no privacy in this 21st century, and the Big Brother watching …

Call Center: Please, take it easy.. Getting frustrated doesn't do your blood pressure any good...

Mr.Smith: Shut up! I’m leaving tomorrow! I will go far, far away from all this. To a remote island, wherever, without the Internet, computers, phones and people spying on me...

Call Center: I understand you...

Mr.Smith: For the last time I'll use my credit card to buy my airline ticket to the very end of the earth!

Call Center: Good...

Mr.Smith: Cancel my pizza order. I no longer want it!

Call Center: Sure, all done! But if you allow me, one last thing…

Mr.Smith: WHAT?!

Call Center: I would like to remind you that your passport has expired.

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Recent Comments

16

Funny, but partly true already. Call Center workers know how many times you call and what each call is about!

Most do not know that restaurants use call centers to hire customer service agents. I used to do it with Starbucks, got tired of being cussed out over coffee and the Brista did not smile complaints. What get me, the complain the coffee did not taste right and taste like water and we can see they just left the location & can hear them gulping down that beverage.

There is nothing to be afraid of with new technology unless someone going track you down and cause bodily harm.

Enjoyed the fun laugh.

Funny frightening and fairly true! Many of us have phones which know more about us as individuals than we know about ourselves!

They could probably predict how we would react to stimuli more accurately than we could and they can be tracked anywhere on the planet!

We live in an Information Age and I agree that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Have a great weekend.
Rick

I laughed all the way through this. But that doesn't mean I like the implications!

I too found it funny whilst thinking “how true”. As Jerry said, there’s a bit of 1984 about it.

Lol, a lot of people are now going “off the grid”, they are sick of the whole big brother thing. Funny but scary as Simone said.
Stephen

Yup, funny and frightening simultaneously. I too know a couple of people who are “off the grid “ as much as is possible today.
As technology advances it brings both benefits and drawbacks. It can be used for good or abused recklessly.
We can use it for the benefit of our businesses and to help others, which is what I try to do whilst having a laugh and enjoying life’s journey.
Rick

So much truth in this post. It makes me want to read 1984 again. It sounds as if there may be some striking similarities in this post.
Jerry

I hadn't thought of that Jerry, you're right. 1984 was one of the books I studied at school in English quite a few years ago now!

Rick

Lol
Heard this already but this is still funny and scary
Especially with what is happening with AI now all over the world
It is just a matter of time

Totally agree, funny and scary.
It's not new and I take no credit for it, I first heard it a couple of years ago and came across it again today and thought I'd share it.

It is still funny 🤣🤣🤣

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