The Red Table Talk

byRaroGoddess

159 followers

4 years ago

I caught myself watching this morning check it out if and when you can. I know it is not father's Day and Mother's Day is just around the corner.

https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/106823180692609...

But I am truly grateful to all the fathers out there and let me tell you I see you and I feel you.

In our culture family is everything, but what happens when you have your growing pain issues and living outside of your culture and develop new ones. Growing up in New Zealand was an amazing life with Cook Island parents. They met here in Auckland and had us 3 kids and we like any other family we had our ups and downs. I saw how hard my father worked and the decisions that he had made for our family and never truly appreciate what he did. Even though he was raised with 10 other siblings and times were tough and had to contribute to the family from preparing dinner to dishes and doing outside chores. Discipline and routine was strictly adhered to and what mama said goes.

When dad and mum had us children we were given the same boundaries, expectations and strict instructions, however my dad rewarded us and at that time it may not be much but he never had those things growing up. He wanted us to have what he never got from his parents. As we got older things became more tight on finances and my dad had to make a decision on staying in his corporate job and travel 3+ hours per day in a car from Henderson to Drury or looking for a new venture. So he decided to be a boss and got into our first Fruit and Vegetable shop.

Exciting at first and then the struggle began. The times I saw my parents praying for a break through, sales ideas and developing new clients was when I saw my father try and try every day. I would help out in the shop but grab money to get a pie at the bakery and a car magazine from the diary and did not care of the consequences. A year later we had to close up shop and walk away and start all over again.

As soon as my brother and I got old enough to work we did, but my father was so insistent on pursuing our education. I have to say even though I got UE it wasn't enough. He sat me down and told me why he thought this was so. I couldn't care less what he thought at the time and ended up going to Uni but came away with Debt which still haunts me today and how the table have changed. As I got older I saw how important education is but as Will Smith said "Every day and your environment is school". I wonder what my father would have thought about that comment.

We are in changing times and education comes by clicking on your mouse and entering your CC details and most of all online. My parents only signed up to Facebook last year and can not understand how much was achieved education wise since lock down 2020. I now understand my father's struggle with education, he never finished school did a course here when he was 17 to be a forklift driver (Ironically my son does that in his profession of warehousing and logistics). Told his boss that he will be a manager and got laughed off because his only qualification at the time was a forklift driver. Back in the 70s was like $5/hr if not less and he knew he had to work harder than anyone else.

Now I know where I get my determination from also confused with my confidence/stubbornness. I am at peace with this quality and have embraced it after playing it down for so long.

So in essence I did not always have a great relationship with my father, but now I look back I cry and laugh at the highlights. I think wow never once did I ever pay homage to this amazing handsome man who was my first true love and first kiss and with ever inch of me I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

I love you Dad and I now know why you taught me them lessons I needed for my life. I will always cherish your contribution to my life and the woman that I have become and learning to become the best version of myself every day. I hope that I make you proud to be your daughter as I am truly blessed that God gave you as my father.

This is my dad and mum at Ariki Cafe in Avatiu, Rarotonga, Cook Islands not so long ago and they still look good.

With all my love

Meitaki Ma'ata e Kia Manuia