a happy sad kind of night

Tonight it was 16 years ago that we lost my beautiful Granddad. It is a happy night because I had him, sad because I lost him. I know 16 years may seem a bit ridiculous to some to be missing him so much but I do. Him and my grandmother impacted my life in a way that is beyond words. They were my family.... the only real family I have had.... and I think I lived through the things I have lived through because his wisdom helped me to keep my head above water many times when I think I may have drowned otherwise....

When we love someone the sting of loss may go, but the love remains the missing them remains... He was hands down the most amazing man I have ever known and those who knew him, knew that - those who never met him... I am sorry - you would have loved him.... everyone did - and he loved everyone.

He shared incredible wisdom. I know we aren't supposed to get into certain topics but I would not be honoring his memory if I did not say that his wisdom was true biblical wisdom. I won't say any more than that though.

I got to live with them for a season. They saved me from a miserable existence with a stepmother who fit the stereotype if you know what I mean. I lived with them just a few short years but in that time my grandfather taught me everything I ever need to know to be successful in this life. At the time, I was a teenager so I would roll my eyes now and then, but I always sat and listened to what he had to say. Years later and a million stupid mistakes and a ton of painful life lessons I can say that the shaping of who I am now - happened then. He taught me about hard work, forgiveness, love without agenda or expectation... Him and my grandmother (on cover photo, their wedding day) loved unconditionally and showed me that I did, in fact, have worth.... He taught me to never give up and that I could accomplish any goal I set out to do... things I had been raised to believe were available for everyone but me.

I know this does not have much to do with WA, but with my husband out of town and my boys are gone for a few days... sitting here with my daughter and just thinking.... trying to spend as much time on WA as I can and decided to just write what's on my heart tonight... missing my family.