Attack Me! Be Rude to Me! It Says More About YOU Than It Does About ME!
Have I always been overly confident, slightly cocky, bordering on arrogance, with a big mouth?
Yep, pretty much.
Have I always been generous, loving, affectionate, and tried to help others?
Yep, pretty much.
However, while the latter may bring many “fans”, the former will definitely bring many “enemies”.
As far as I’m concerned, “if you give it, you’ve gotta take it”.
And as I “give it” a lot of the time I have to be prepared to take it, in terms of others being rude to me or potentially attacking me.
Water off a duck’s back.
That being said, while I always expected to receive some form of criticism as a Wealthy Affiliate member, it does appear to have accelerated somewhat this year.
Yep, 6 different members in 2023, 3 still current, have felt the urge to send me a Private Message to tell me “what a bad person I apparently am”.
Thank You.
Now, before anyone tells me to “report this to Kyle” or indeed, Kyle if you’re reading this (I KNOW you are, Hahaha!! You’re always slightly worried about what I’m gonna say next! LOL), my lips are sealed.
That’s just NOT me.
Here’s the latest PM message I received, and this is quoted verbatim, nothing added or subtracted by me:
“You’re a douchebag, you realize that right? You have to know it but I’m sure you do, just look in the mirror, you have a douchebag face.
I wish you nothing but the worst in life.
You deserve horrible things and when you least expect it I’m sure life will come crashing down on you HARD.”
I can only guess this is due to me “not replying to a PM for about 3 weeks”, as I have never had any other interaction on the platform with this individual.
That being said, I am definitely a people-watcher and a people-studier, so even if you don't know me, it’s likely I already know you.
I tend to sit back, watch, make assumptions and judgements (yes, I realise that this is wrong of me, but it’s human nature, we ALL do it).
And every once in a while I’ll get involved in the conversation and have my say.
The person who sent this, I have watched your interactions on the platform, and I’m sorry to say, much like many others, you have a serious case of entitlement.
Now, you talk about your “condition”, but trust me, there are members here who are in much worse physical, mental, or emotional turmoil than you.
In fact, one of my favourite members has MANY more physical issues than you and has suffered heartache, and YET, is still one of the happiest (a bit Blunt every now and then., LOL) and least entitled people I have ever met.
Furthermore, there are literally millions of people in the world who would never consider using a physical, mental, or emotional condition to feel that they are “entitled” to something.
Let me also tell you something that is NONE of anyone’s business.
You think life has been easy for me?
Try that 3 people that I loved UNCONDITIONALLY with my entire heart all died in my arms.
Not ONE, but THREE.
I knew (and they knew) that they were all dying, and that they didn’t have long left.
On all 3 occasions, I made the decision to become their full-time carer.
This involved bathing each person, taking them to the toilet, wiping their backside, dressing them, undressing them, feeding them, ensuring they took their medication multiple times a day, massaging them, cutting their fingernails/toenails, carrying them around, and NEVER being off the clock.
The first person left me as a widower at the age of 28.
I’m also going to admit that this led me down a path of alcohol and drug abuse for a couple of years.
The second two (a few years later, approx. 9 months apart) left me, an only child, I guess, as an orphan.
Plus, do you know how hard it is NOT to show emotion when your mother constantly cries because she’s embarrassed and ashamed that her only child, someone that she has doted on throughout her life, now has to bathe her and wipe her backside?
BUT
At no time did I ever feel entitled to ANYTHING.
It was my choice to look after these people in their dying days, and do you know what, I am so, so, so, so glad that I did it.
The memories of those times are both horrific and yet heartwarming.
In the days, weeks, and years that followed I fell into depression, and yet I still did NOT act as though I was entitled.
So, to the person who sent the above message (and the other 5 members who have sent similar messages to me this year, and to the additional 10ish who’ve done the same over the past few years)
I urge you to look at yourself, NOT ME!
Firstly, if you’re looking to external forces to make you happy or make you successful, unfortunately I have to tell you:
You’re Doing Life WRONG!
Additionally, I’ve mentioned that I’ve watched you on the platform.
Whereas, others may not notice it, I DO.
Making excuses, feeling entitled, and basically looking for a push-button system is NOT GOING TO WORK.
I'm yet to EVER meet someone who is successful in any field who is lazy, entitled, not willing to learn, and who has a negative mindset.
Being rude to me may have made you feel better, but has it moved you any closer to success?
I do apologise for going on holiday recently, and the fact that I try to go through my PMs in the order that I receive them.
I also apologise for the fact that this business ISN’T FOR YOU - you don’t have the right mindset, but you carry on paying your membership if you want.
Paying for membership doesn’t bring success, learning, educating YOURSELF, asking for help that doesn’t come across as “whiney” and “woe is me”, building daily habits, TAKING ACTION on what you’ve learned, then FAILING, and readjusting yourself so that you learn from your failures is WHAT BRINGS SUCCESS.
Here’s something else that upsets me a little - I still have many unanswered PMs, and 4 of those are from people who I’ve known for a while and I like a lot, but for now, I don’t wish to open or even read any PMs.
Is receiving these types of messages taking a toll on me? Perhaps!
Let’s face facts, as humans, all most of us want is love and acceptance.
The entitlement shown in the above message tells me that the following is probably what you expect from me:
Those who have received help from me will know that I put my heart and soul into it.
Whereas others may quote “follow the training” and give you a few links to get you started, that’s not what I do.
I spend an hour or so going over your website, I then typically do a write up (it’s ME, it’s gonna be long, e.g. 2,000-3,000 words), I even do some keyword research, give direction, etc.
So, let’s say a bare minimum of 3-4 hours to help ONE person.
What does annoy me sometimes is when I’ve done this and I receive a reply within about 10 minutes asking more questions.
I immediately know that you haven’t even had time to read what I’ve sent you, so why the hell should I reply again?
I even know of a member who hasn’t worked on their website for 10 months now because I did the above for them 10 months ago, and they replied with more questions within about 10 minutes.
BUT
They haven’t worked on their website for 10 months because they needed more answers.
SERIOUSLY?
Do you think that attitude is going to bring success in ANY walk of life?
Anyway, let’s say that I do the above for 10 people per week.
Guess what?
That’s a full-time UNPAID job (you do realise I DON'T promote Wealthy Affiliate, and therefore have NO referrals, plus some people would charge $200-$500 for that type of "service").
Perhaps, that is what I should do, just give up everything I do to be at the beck-and-call of others.
I’ll tell you what, shall I also transfer you $10,000? Because clearly you're ENTITLED to it.
I will always try to help others, whether here or in “real-life”, that’s just me.
But, for now, I’ve kinda had enough of the PM feedback I’ve received this year.
This ISN’T about me, it’s definitely about YOU!
Thank You For Reading
Partha
Recent Comments
97
Partha,
Dear Sir, I understand the frustration you must feel from the attacks of small-minded people. I have the utmost respect for what you do on this platform. The advice you have given to so many of us is from your desire to help others succeed.
The negative comments you receive at times are from an individual's envy of your success. You have stated many times that your way of researching may not be for everyone, but that being said, that individual needs to do their own research. If that person is unwilling to do their research or take the classes, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to help that person become successful.
You have my admiration and respect for your forthright manner.
Jerry
Just popping in to WA to find this post that Immediately catched my eye.
After reading your whole post :)
I am thinking wow! what an amazing personal story you have Partha .....
I have no words...
And I totally agree with you Partha. It says more about them than you.
As you know They are just immature people .
I think it is quite scary what people are able to utter sometimes to others they do not know at all.
I feel both annoyed and sorry for people like that.
They are insecure and never learned any common decency.
Got a high dose of similar messages myself.
I have been asked about money from people who sign up and think they get money from signing up. Or because I am a woman I get all sorts of disrespectful messages.
I have got messages where people wish me to a certain place because I tell them to be serious and take responsibility for what they do, because I will not do the work for them.
Like you I care about people, and help people the best I can, but I have my limits too...
I think you have been more than helpful to so many people in this community including myself. Partha.
You always give something extra even if people do not ask for it.
Not many people would do that and that says a lot about you.
Just be the fantastic person you are. Do not let anyone bull you.
Big hug from your Norwegian friend.
Wow Partha, I'm so shocked to read what you have received in your PMs.
You may well be the sole reason that I picked myself up and decided to treat my blog as a real job instead of a hobby; the reason I changed my keyword strategy, and the one person who inspires me to stay here in WA.
And the reason is because when I read your posts, you share so SELFLESSLY with your knowledge and inspiration and you give me concrete info which I can apply.
Actually I'd absolutely LOVE to join a PAID mentorship program with you as my teacher because I know you'd give so MUCH of yourself.
The people who send you messages like that must have a very, very, very strange perception on life. But then again, everyone has a different world-map of in their head, don't they? Their map must be riddled with negativity and self-loathing.
I **may be guilty** (no idea but I could imagine myself doing this) of answering you in 10 minutes after receiving a message - because I feel like that shows how grateful and excited I'm feeling at reading your message! And the joy is bubbling over! Then of course I go away and of course I study what you've said in depth.
I hope that the nasty messages flow over your head like water off a duck's back, without leaving any leftover remains, and that they don't affect you in ANY way whatsoever in the future.
You are an amazing person!!! Your intensely personal and painful story resonates deeply with me. My daughter also went through those situations, first with her father and then with her best friend and I know that NOBODY gives up their life to care for their loved ones in these sad times unless they have a very special heart. Those truly difficult times deepen a person's knowledge of life and loss and pain and love.
Sending you all the positive energy in the world,
Soraya
One of the things I generally like about WA is that people are helpful and friendly and like a laugh.
So to hear this is really sad. Like everyone I have been also been verbally abused. And what I have discovered is it is done by people trying to make themselves feel better by dragging others down to their pathetic level.
We are only human so it can still hurt but it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and they are small stuff.
Stephen
Hello Partha
This person who wrote this and the others are very low. So low that they don't even deserve your attention.
These kind of people have serious problems, low self-esteem and they have to compensate it on others. Usually on those who are successful.
We all have lives and problems and we all have to deal with them. No one is going to take our hand and resolve them.
You helped us here in WA a lot and we appreciate it. You did it for free in your free time while others charge fortune for it. I learned a lot from you and I'm so grateful for all the knowledge I got from you.
You are really nice person and I wish you all the best.
Don't waste your energy on this kind of individuals.
Nat 🙏♥️
It is sad and painful to read that somebody hurts you or others. It is a low level, and they are not in your league. Maybe they are jealous of your cheerful nature and ability to express yourself, or perhaps they would like to be like you but they are incapable of it. Anyway, thanks that you are, and share your wisdom and knowledge with us here at WA.
Be healthy and wealthy, Nemira
Your "admirer" forced me to check in Webster for the ugly word she/he was using.
More than 60 people commented below. Most of these are genuine and sincere comments from people who admire you just like I do.
Your lengthy and selfless replies to questions asked on this platform show your soul. This is genuine and there is nothing behind it, I knew this all the time. You have no referrals here, it seems from the comments below that some were surprised by this fact. No doubt many of your "followers" believe you are selling something all the time. Those do not know you, and they do no recognize what a gem we have here.
The personal stuff revealed in your text above also shows how deeply this person hurt you. If he/she reads these lines, here is my invitation to get back to you and to apologize. Knowing you, so much hatred in those four sentences is impossible to understand. Nobody deserves this.
Stay strong man, you have seen things in your life, this is just a small episode. It hurts it is obvious, but you will manage it.
I would like to say I am speechless at the audacity of the persons who wrote any and all disparaging comments to you.
But of course, that is not true - I have plenty to say on the subject.
First of all - I agree with you (I know that should be a mantra here - Partha is right!), but I believe you are correct. Those who tear down others - it says a LOT more about them than anyone they are tearing down.
I have sung praises to the wisdom of Partha on numerous occasions, and I will continue to do so as long as you are willing to impart knowledge on this platform. I know you do not need to be here, and that you have sites hosted elsewhere. But I and many others definitely appreciate what you have done and hopefully will continue to do here.
I can honestly say that the information you have provided here has helped me immensely to climb the rankings and yes, get the odd article on the front page.
This was done using the methods you have provided, and no I have not yet implemented all of the methods that you have imparted. I, like my websites, are a work in progress and still need work.
But that is on me, I know that.
I am glad you chose to share this issue with us here in WA. It is unfortunate and appalling that you have been subjected to such abuse. Yes, abuse.
Water off a duck's back, which is correct, exactly what it should be, but still, why should you be subjected to this at all? The sad truth is that eventually some water seeps through and leaves a mark. All I can say is sorry you had to experience that.
I am, as I say, speechless, but have plenty to say to these people. The audacity, the entitlement, - sadly it is an unfortunate sign of the times.
It definitely says a lot about their character - none of it is good.
I really could go on all day about this, but what is the point? Everyone has provided positive comments, and I agree with all of the positives.
Stay as you are, Partha. Steady as she goes.
Thank you again for the help, over the years and in the future.
Alex
We love you, Partha!
It does not matter what anyone says!
You know you have our support. Just look at all the people commenting on your post - because we love you!
In my experience, when people are criticized and put down, sometimes publicly, it is because they are achievers!
No one bothers to publicly put down the lazy guy - oh well, poor him.
But when you make a DIFFERENCE, when you are POPULAR and KNOWLEDGEABLE, well, that's hard to take. And you are generous with your knowledge. This is a winning combination!
If they can point out a flaw and make it stick, it means that they are not failing in their own eyes.
Failure is what THEY see in the mirror - and mirrors don't lie!
The words cut, I get that. But they mean nothing. Don't give them space in your mind. Consider the source.
Shake it off!
You are sensitive, and why not? You have done some very human things in your life and for those acts, you can feel satisfaction. I am in awe of what you did for your loved ones.
I so look forward to your posts and I have learned SO much from you! If not for that, I might not even still be here... This is significant.
I can't wait to get into each blog you write, so please don't stop. (what's the difference between a blog and a post). (I mean it, what is the difference?)
You have fire and energy and personality!
You are you!
We are the beneficiaries of that.
None of the above is "douche-baggery stuff"!
Empty vessels make the most noise!
Remember: we-love-you!
Corinne
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You're a "Trekkie"...going boldly where no "human" has gone before. Seriously, I wouldn't have expected to see this kind of post on WA, but we are human and so human interactions can be messy things and I guess messes are inevitable. Thanks for bravely putting this out there and yes, the ONLY thing we can truly control is ourselves.
Secondly, I don't consider myself needy, but being old and not tech savvy, I have posted a few questions to Tech Support (don't even know if this is where you assist members). My goal is to try to minimize those and fend for myself as much as possible.
Thanks for what you do.