Am I The Only Person That Has Done This?

byOliviaJad3

36 followers

Updated 2 years ago

Hi, I'm Olivia . I'm 46 years old and I've always been a procrastinator.

I have started many businesses over the years. But every time I get started, that fear of failure creeps into my mind. So then I end up quitting without giving myself the chance to be successful.

I knew I had the tools, ability and knowledge to grow a successful business. But I start doubting myself . You see, i'd rather quit something by choice rather than fail at something I so badly wanted. It's crazy right?

But that was the old me. My birth name was Nicola Marie, that person was sexually and emotionally abused, bullied from the age of 7 through most of my life. I ended up a homeless drug addict from the age of 14. I was in and out of jail until the age of 24.

It was December 2004 that I thought enough is enough. I went to business school. I enrolled in 16 courses in 8 months in Business, accounting and I.T. I got clean and I started working as an administration Manager at a college. I was awarded Student of the year 2005 for passing all my courses with 100% passes and gaining distinctions. I was actually awarded a trophy and certificate from the mayor of Scarborough.

I married my childhood sweetheart and I got pregnant. But when I was 12 weeks pregnant, I was driving home from a day out shopping with my mum when a drunk driver swerved on to my side of the road and hit my car head on. I lost consciousness for a few seconds so oxygen stopped getting to my son whilst I was unconscious. He was born in 2010 with severe disabilities and with parts of his brain missing.

So I left my job and started working for myself. But I've got Imposter Syndrome and I believed that I was really worthless. I'd been treat like that and had been told that for years.

I got my business degree in 2013 and I've done many other different courses through the years also.

You're probably wondering why I'm telling you all this. It's because I want to explain how I got here.

In 2021 I got out of bed to find my legs didn't work and I collapsed. I had a lump the size of an egg at the bottom of my spine and around 9 lumps on my neck and armpits.

I was told to expect the worse. I fell into depression and my weight went from 9st to under 5.5st. I couldn't drag myself put off bed, never mind wash, shower or eat.

Then a miracle happened. I was given the all clear and the same day all the lumps disappeared.

It was like I was given another chance at life (why do people only start living after having a near death experience)

Life is too short and I now live each day like it's my last. I've forgiven everyone that hurt me, my hate has turned to pity as I believe Karma will deal with them.

I've learned to love myself. I stay positive all the time. I love helping people and making people happy.

So..... May 2022 I changed my name by deed poll to Olivia Jade. I'm no longer that girl that was bullied and abused.

I'm going to be a successful business owner. So that's my story. I'm happy to be where I am today

I'm Olivia Jade and I can do anything I put my mind too and I'm here to be a listening ear or to help anyone that needs me.

I can't wait to meet new friends.