Holding On.Why?

byMsclipp33

119 followers

4 years ago

I had a tragedy happen a few years ago and it was a loss of someone I loved DEARLY. It took me many hours of meditation, prayer, lone tearful walks and a lot of sleepless nights. I held on to many items that were of no value to anyone or anything but a memory. I held on TIGHT.

Well, after time has passed, I had more time in between teardrops and thoughts moments of despair. Between my morning Wim Hof breathing, Joe Dispenza's meditations, following the advice I give clients and some incredibly Divine Intervention (mini miracles that happened along the way)... I FOUND myself and the reason I am still among the living.

I had two storage units that were FULL of STUFF. Yes, I FOUND myself but I couldn't or didn't want to FIND myself going through all that STUFF. Both storage units were at a manageable price (it was still too much) so I just kept paying and chugging along.

I remember praying, "God, help me move forward with my life. God, MAKE me see the path and even if I kick, cry and shout, carry me down that path and make me believe it will be OK."

Shortly, I learned the importance of being careful what you ask for.

I received a notice that my storage was being increased by $115 within 30 days! I tried everything to have them reconsider. They wouldn't BUDGE! WHY? Because it was Divine Intervention! An answered prayer that I perceived as ONE MORE PROBLEM to deal with.

This meant I needed to go through all that STUFF, release some things and downsize to a smaller storage unit. Well, let me tell you this... I had NO idea how much releasing I had to do. I filled trash BINS not cans... BINS!

It took me 2 MONTHS, of driving back and forth to my storage which was over an hour away from my current home. For two months, I RELEASED! As my release took place, I realized that I was holding on to so much stuff that was holding me back from my ability to move forward.

I learned that I had done this in many areas of my life. As I cleaned, cleared, donated and dumped things, I saw other areas where I had been holding on to STUFF. WHY? I was afraid to let go of the past. All the accomplishments, failed attempts, lessons, relationships and all the trinkets that I felt made up this thing I call 'ME'. I was a slave to the past and all its trash.

I was a moment after I threw away my last piece of trash from storage that was the first step towards a profound awakening to my ability to see an amazing future. I noticed little miracles popping up. Doors started opening for the 'ME' who stood as a result of dropping all that baggage of stuff and standing in the present as a representation of what I have become as a result of having the glorious opportunity to have experienced it all.

I am ALIVE and Grateful for my past but I no longer live in it or with it. I have learned the value of letting go and how clearing clutter can clear the mind and heart. My memories will live on by the way I represent myself. Therefore, I am no longer afraid to move forward.

I still have things and stuff to clear but today, the only thing I am not willing to let go of is ME and all the other STUFF is OPTIONAL.