My latest trip to the Loony Bin
Have you ever wondered if you are "crazy"?? Or have you ever been told by your loved ones that you are crazy? For me this happens all too often. They say that it takes a community to make a man, and in my instance, my community thinks they know when I have "flipped my lid".
I am a writer of songs, blogs, journals and basically anything that requires a pen and paper. The pen is my sword, and sometimes the constant grinding from those around me sharpens my pen so much to the point that it seems jagged and dangerous from their perspective.
My last trip was a result of this grinding. Grinding me to find a "proper" job, to be a responsible man and finding a "respectful" job, not just some scam I found on the internet (WA). As a result, I was doing everything in my power to keep a respectful job, while setting up WA, and further my musical career...or as everyone else calls it, a hobby.
I was going manic, but that mania was giving me what I needed to achieve these goals. I was only sleeping 4-5 hours a night, forgetting to eat, but at the same time getting so much done. I slept when I was exhausted, and ate when i was starving. My mother saw this, and due to my past trips to the mental hospital, she figured she'd be proactive, and get me some help. This meant calling the RCMP and having the cops "trick" me into coming with them by saying that I was going to be a part of their task force. So I went with them to the hospital, and sure enough when I got there, the doctor told me I was going to Panoka (the biggest mental hospital in western Canada). in 3 days it would be 10 years since the last time I was at that specific hospital.
This was my 5th trip to the bin since that first time, and this time around, although I had to do EVERYTHING on my own, I was discharged after 18 days. Record time for being "psychotic", and pumped full of tranquilizers and the highest possible levels of anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers, to get me to sleep. I don't remember the first 3 days in there, which is usually how it goes when you are battling these toxic "medicinal drugs".
My time there, was a battle. Stuck in a ward with people who have never been in a hospital like that before. People who have tried to kill themselves. People who walk around in their own reality regardless of what is going on. The latter being the category I fit in. But every rainy day has a sliver lining. I met some amazing people there, and once I decided to make the best of it, I was a rainbow for them on their darkest days. Laughter is the best medicine, and one smile can erase a full day of tears. These strangers have become my best memory of a dark time for me. They are reminders that we (each and every one of us) have the power to create the reality around us.
I stopped when they said stop, and went when they said it was okay. The doctor was merely a wall that needed to be scaled. I now heed his advice, no drinking, no pot, no "illegal substances". Or street drugs as he calls it. I do not recommend this to anyone, so please, when your loved ones tell you to stop and think, to eat, to sleep- do it. Because money can consume us sometimes and we are built with the ability to think that we are invincible when it's in the name of some greater good. In my case, building my empire for me and my princess and those who wish to follow.
Stay tuned friends. Headed to the top of the pyramid. And if you're already their, save me a seat.
Peace and love,
The real slim Mikey
Recent Comments
4
Thanks for your openness and honesty, Mike. Thanks for joining us. We're one big family here.
My daughter is going through something similar and has been hospitalised 3 times in the last 18 months - my thoughts are with you :)
I have faith that she'll make it. Be it- kicking and screaming or not. The world is our playground and sometimes we need a time out to realize what is important. And sometimes those time outs require lifetime sentences of "medication". I am hopeful that with the legalization of weed, it will be applied to the medical industry, because through self medication it kept me level for years... until I had too much on my plate and the king of kings corrected my path. msg me about her, I'd be happy to offer some guidance, and to learn about her condition. Our friends are our help, should we choose to ask for it. Money doesn't always buy happiness.
See more comments
Thank you for sharing this Mike. I think the key for me is to take things in moderation as I tend to hyperfocus on something for long periods of time. I always come around and carry on as per usual but I know it concerns my loved ones when they see me so obsessed. Take care of yourself and remember the the path to the top is a journey, not a race.