Develop yourself # 4
This is one of the best blogs that I read
One is taught by experience to put a premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are."
—Gail Godwin
The people in our lives who treat us with kindness, respect, honesty, and understanding have the ability to lift us to our highest heights. On the flip side, those who mistreat us, disrespect us, lie to us, neglect us, or abuse us often have the power to pull us down into the depths of despair.
Simply put, the people in our lives can either lift us up or drag us down.
That said, let’s take a look at your relationships. Think about the people surrounding you: your family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, romantic interest. Are any of these people holding you back from being your best? Are any of them making you feel unworthy, unloved, and uncared for? Are any of them making you feel small, weak, dirty, stupid, or insignificant? Are any of them demeaning or disrespecting you by implying that you don’t deserve happiness, abundance, and peace in your life? If so, who are they?
And now to the most important question: Why in the world are you allowing these people in your life?
I say “allowing” because every relationship in your life—even those with your family members—is 100 percent voluntary and therefore subject to your influence. You can choose to maintain, build, minimize, or even break off any relationship at any time. You don’t have to call your parents, you don’t have to stay in the relationship with the abusive jerk, and you don’t have to put up with friends who try to keep you down to their apathetic unmotivated level.
Being subject to your influence, your relationships are turning out exactly the way you are allowing them to. Since you have the power to reward or penalize people with your level of commitment to the relationship, you are in essence continually teaching people how to treat you. If someone is treating you poorly, then it’s because you haven’t influenced or taught them to do otherwise. You haven’t consistently or authoritatively stood up for yourself or put your foot down and said, “Enough! I will never allow you treat me like that again!”
Much of the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. Healthy relationships are those that support your well-being and growth. If you are in any relationship that doesn’t fit that bill, it’s time to candidly reassess why you’re in it and determine what you should do about it. Do you feel an obligation to be in this dysfunctional relationship, or are you just scared to be alone? Should you break ties with those who are hurting you, or should you at the very minimum lay down some new ground rules for how you expect to be treated?
Now this isn't just about getting RID of people who treat you unfairly, the truth is we all know that can't always happen -- not everyone can ditch their mean spouses that easily. But here's the master's work: it's not so much about losing the bums as it is about having MORE supportive people around you. At my events we talk about having at least 10 super supportive peers and mentors around you who act as your cheerleaders and support personnel. Decide today that by the end of the year you'll have 10 new supportive friends and mentors and your life next year will explode with passion, joy and achievement.
Today’s the day you should decide to surround yourself with only those people who lift you higher in life—those who appreciate you, respect you, support you, and love you. A life of beauty is built by surrounding yourself with beautiful souls.
Transformational Turning Points:
□ The people in my life who are treating me poorly are…
□ I’ve allowed these people to treat me this way by…
□ If I ended or dramatically altered these relationships, I would start to feel…
□ The relationships in my life that are truly supporting my well-being and growth are the ones I have with…
□ Five people I need to approach to have as mentors and motivators are...
Next week's Transformation Truth will likely surprise you. (It's about how you think). Stay tuned. Until then, stay focused on taking action on this week's Truth.
As you move forward, may the gates to possibility always swing wide open for you.
Now, it is your turn, like my blog and drop a comment below.
Thank you.
Recent Comments
41
well put Masamir, I have often wondered why people tolerate each other just for the sake of it, I had a business partner who was a total FU, and however often I told him he was a waste of space he never wanted to change, I still don't understand how we gravitated towards each other most of his friends were like him as well, fortunately he moved about 100 km away from here so the relationship just died out .
Ray Bowley ( Merryman88 )
Your post is good and can be true of many people.Unfortunately we cannot choose our family but you can choose your friends.
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That was awesome ! I have friends and family who don't believe in me ,but it makes me more determined to succeed . Great post .
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