Realistic vs Positive Thinking

byMarkA1

1.1K followers

5 months ago

If you've ever tried to encourage someone you knew was feeling down, you've probably been met with the old, "I'm just being realistic" response. It happens to me all the time, especially with certain friends that have trouble seeing beyond the problems they're facing. And I'll be the first to admit that when someone comes at me sounding too pollyannaish, I often get annoyed by that and find myself in the same boat.

So, I was contemplating this the other day and came to a new understanding of it. When people say they're thinking "realistically," what is it that they're really focusing on? Limitations! Either their own limitations (physical or mental), the limitations of others they're interacting with, the limitations they feel society imposing upon them, or limitations "reality" places in front of them (mortality, the laws of physics, nature, etc...).

When people see obstructions of any kind, they begin to believe more in the strength of these limitations than in the strength of their own will. And it's certainly true that we're not all equally strong in every way. However, most of the problems we encounter in this life are the result of the way we're looking at things, rather than the things themselves.

For one thing, most problems are solvable. Sometimes, you just need to put a little more effort into something to get over a hump. Unfortunately, this becomes more and more difficult, the more problems you're facing at the same time. This is the point where people begin to get overwhelmed and start feeling like the problems are too big to tackle themselves, everyone's too busy with their own problems to help them, or maybe that there's nothing anyone else can do, or just that nobody cares in the first place.

But here's the one thing we overlook when we're thinking that way. The result we get isn't nearly as much the result of our brute strength in tackling a problem as it is in where we're placing our focus. Are we focusing more on the problems, the solutions, or on the prize?

If you're focusing on the problems, obstructions, and limitations that lie between you and the goal, you're absolutely going to see more of them. They're going to pop up from places you never even imagined and the end result is often a snowball effect, where they just keep piling up, mounting one on top of the other, and actually compounding the difficulty of your objective.

Focusing on the solutions can help, provided the potential solutions are actually within your grasp or power to act on. Sometimes, they are not. You may be doing everything you can think of to fix a situation, but none of your efforts are working. That can make you feel pretty hopeless.

The thing is, sometimes it's better to just focus on the prize, itself. The universe has a multitude of different ways to deliver whatever it is that you want. If you need a car, you can either buy one, be given one, win one, or I suppose even find one. Having the money to buy one, although it is the most common way to acquire one, isn't the only way people get vehicles.

Yes, I'm aware that it's unlikely you're going to just find one somewhere. But truth be told, all of these things have happened to somebody, somewhere. And sometimes focusing on the prize unlocks something in your mind that allows you to connect better with potential opportunities that could get you closer to that prize in other ways.

You see, THAT is what you want to attract to you - NOT more problems or hyperawareness of human limitations. "But Mark, can't you see I'm broke?" Why yes, I absolutely can! I can see the same obstacles lying in front of you that you can. I'm not saying they don't exist. I'm just saying you can be passively aware of their existence while still keeping your eyes on the prize and focusing on what you WANT, rather than on what stands in the way.

If you want to be able to recognize opportunities when they present themselves, rather than writing them off because you're too busy thinking that they probably won't work, you need to focus more on what you want than on what you see. Thinking PAST the obstructions that lie before you unlocks your minds ability to connect to other pathways that lead to what you want.

I guarantee that the children of the elites we all know live better than the rest of us are being taught to think this way from a young age. They learn early on that their mind is the most powerful tool they have at their disposal, but that it will only work for them if they direct their focus properly and have enough faith to let it do what it was designed to do.

The message in this is pretty simple, even to me. Even though I've instinctively known this my entire life, it didn't "hit" me until recently what it actually meant. It dawned on me that I don't have to struggle nearly as much as I have been, over the past few years. Yes, I still have to put some effort into things. But I don't have to suffer inside, feeling like I want things and outcomes that for whatever reason I can't have.

All I have to do is decide what I want, take whatever actions are appropriate and within my ability, keep learning and bettering myself to better fit the mold required of the recipient, and keep my eyes on the prize. I know there will be problems. There will ALWAYS BE problems. But I'm becoming the man who can better tackle whatever gets in my way, while keeping my eyes on the prize, so that I'll be on the lookout for any unconventional paths that might lead to it.

Trust me, that beats sulking and insisting I'm being "realistic," when I'm really just allowing hyped-up limitations to define my reality, at a time when even science struggles to explain what "reality" is.

Have a great weekend!

Mark