Soul Searching
I looked today and I don't blog as often as most people. I still read a ton of blogs a day. These past couple of weeks have been a journey of the mind for me. There was a lot that I had hidden away and in that process, I had actually lost the sense of self that had made me a confident and productive person before my marriage.
I've realized that I've lied to myself more than anything and though I haven't started the process of divorce just yet; the person I became was unhealthy and depressed. Relationships can truly have an impact on you and who you are. So now I have found a new love and he inspires me to do great things and supports my dreams.
The difference with my marriage is, I was greatly oppressed. I became withdrawn. I was once a social and confident person, but during those five years I became dark and brooding. Even pushing away old friends and refusing to let new people in. I lost my drive and my will as a person to seek the better in life. And grew too comfortable in being lost.
I guess my point is; is the world around you and the people you have in your life are a big impact on who you are and how you see the world. Most people tend to gain a negative world view just based on environmental factors alone. Mine was the person I thought I was supposed to spend my life with. I had settled. Settling is never good. Strive for the best relationship, one that helps you grow and strive for an environment that lets you succeed.
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Sounds like you've done some deep thinking on this and have come to a better place in yourself. It's great that you've had the courage to come to these realizations and the awareness of what's around you. All the best with your future plans.
You sound like you are on the right path now, Beth. A little soul searching is good for each of us from time to time. You are so correct about building around you an environment that propels you to succeed! All the best!
Wishing you much success and happiness Beth in your rediscovery of life.