Conquering uncertainty, fear, and doubt: the spouse pitch
So I am a legit premium member! Yay, me. :)
But as I slowly absorb every video and complete each exercise - currently on course 1, level 9 - a tiny sinister thought starts to plant root inside my brain.
What if I can't pull this off? What if I don't succeed?
This fear was recently voiced out loud by my darling, loving, "supportive"-but-not-excited (bleh) husband.
Now I'll introduce those quotes with a disclaimer: he's a hard workin' dude. He's a blue collar guy. I love him to pieces (easy on my eyes, added bonus). And he loves me, go figure. His life's choices and opportunities have led him to the point when he is at: slowly working his way up to a foreman position in a commercial roofing company where he is employed full time. He's good at what he does - very strong - and a natural leader. I've been his supporter and champion, backing him each step of his climb, stroking his ego, being Mickey to his Rocky, etc. etc. So when he achieves foreman status (should be within the next 3 or 4 months), we plan to PAR-TAY like it's 1999!
However, me returning to work full time has been a source of.....how should I put it in PC lingo.......a 'topic of conversation' weekly. I won't bore you with the deets, but needless to say, I have NO family here in NY. My mom and dad took care of my son the first two years of his life while I worked 40-50 hours weekly in Orange County, California. My mom and dad raised 5 well balanced kids, so it was a no-brainer. Then we (Hubs, me, and the kid) moved up here to upstate NY. Starting fresh in a new state I've never lived in, I was quickly hit with the realization that I wanted to stay home with my son rather than have someone else take care of him.
Cue money issues. Cue income loss. And all the other junk that follows....
I've been trying to brainstorm over the past several months on what my next move is careerwise...all the while patiently listen to hubby's concerns, fears, and frustrations. How do I keep contributing to our family's monetary success? How in the world will we achieve our financial goals if I'm not working?
Soon after signing up for the free 7 day trial, I told the hubs about WA. Tried explaining it a bit, although I barely knew about it myself. I was instantly poo-pooed down. "What's the sense on paying for something you don't know anything about yet? And if you're paying for something - c'mon babe, you're smart - can't you do all the leg work yourself for free? I'm sure there's dozens and dozens of other sites where you could learn how to do all they're teaching you...FOR FREE".
My comeback? One line: "You try researching everything on your own while caring for a 2 1/2 year old boy. And not just any kid - OUR kid. Our high energy kid. Tell me how it works out for you, homeboy".
I will admit I had a definite knee jerk response to his concern, and it didn't even phase him. He then lowers the boom (which from my perspective felt like subtle sabotage, but I still love him anyway):
"What if you pay this fee, and it doesn't work out? What happens then?"
My comeback? "Whatevez, hater". And then I didn't talk to him for an hour.
So that's my story of my pitch to my husband; happened the night before last. I paid the premium fee (6 hours left in my free trial), started chugging along with learning, and then....enter FEAR. Not overthinking - but legit fear. What if my niche doesn't work??? How in the world do I counter this negative thought? This insidious self bashing and genuine worry, how do I stop it? Help! Someone? Anyone!? Bueller??? Ugh.
Then 2 of the best things happened:
1) I started utilizing the search feature in the activity dashboard for different blogs and using appropriate key words: fear, spouse, etc. I came across SO many personal experiences! A wealth of advice and information exists here. I had to momentarily pause my learning in order to get my fear under control).
And 2) my mom called! Talk about perfect timing. She gave me one excellent thought: "My love, never give up on your dreams. Don't let your fears become your enemy. Face your fear and counteract it with a positive thought". Gotta love that moms. <3
So I will leave you with MY positive thought: I am smart, and you are too. We are intelligent individuals. We did not get to this point thus far, only to be dissuaded from our idea/dream/goal by someone who can't see our bigger picture in the beginning. Whether that be a spouse, friend, family member, etc. - we can draw from this WA community by others that may have been down a similar path as us. Being humble and learning from others is self-building. Lean on your peeps.
THINK BIG PICTURE. Allay your fears, breathe, relax, and keep reading. You will achieve your goal.
Just like I will.
Recent Comments
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Hey Lisa, I love this blog, We all start at the beginning. It can be tough because of the unknown.
If you get a job, there is never a doubter because everyone knows a paycheck is coming.
When people decide to begin an entrepreneurial pathway, opposer's shed their light.
It's nice to know that your mom gave you inspiration at the needed time.
This blog you share will help others who may face the same battles.
In the past I had my share of opposer's and you know what, I ignored them because I knew in my gut I was at the right place here at WA.
After two years, nearly my third year and those people who opposed, haven't said a word, Actually what they ask now is how is business. :)
Thanks for the encouragement, 777getgoing! I feel the same way you do, that gut instinct. It's never failed me yet! Isn't it amazing how people change their tune when money happens? I feel you are successful in your blog, which is the sole reason I'm here in the first place. Thanks so much for your support. :)