Fall Reflections.death and coffee

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Updated 4 years ago

It's cold outside and I'm feeling that need to hibernate and blog, blog, blog with a hot beverage within my grasp..... this is my favorite time of year: Fall.

I love the sound of crunching leaves under my feet as I walk, the smell of freshness in the air, the feel of my warm wool scarf on my neck and seeing my breath as I breathe in and out, poofs of carbon dioxide. As I walk around my neighborhood, I know the plant life love me. I am grinning with joy.

Since we are still in fire season here in CA and we are not out of the woodwork yet, I still have faith that the worst is over and things can get back on track. Nothing is normal however when houses burn down and normal life has been uprooted.

As a customer service representative in my day job, I hear many stories every day of other's who have lost their jobs, lost their homes, lost love ones' due to Covid or other sickness and yet through their turmoil they have a positive out look on life and are taking it in stride still striving to thrive in this new environment we are in. These people amaze me especially in our local community with so much stress of the 2020 fires, homelessness on the streets, garbage everywhere and the Covid-19 lock down. Our people in the community have been resilient. And yet, it's not over. There are roomers of more lock downs which means more stress.

With confusing news media reports, not knowing what is truth from a lie.... it's hard to even listen or want to watch the news especially with the election. I do however try to listen to others while I answer the phone at my day job and practice compassion and empathy. No one wants sympathy. It's a fine line.

So many people that call into the call center where I work have opinions and want to talk about our times or times in the past. It can be overwhelming. Staying neutral is key and staying calm through it all is what I focus on. I just try to listen in the mists of the chaos. Where is the truth? I try not to let it bother me, all the things we've been going through this year... I try to be at the moment, Fall is my cozy season. It is a time of reflection.

This time of year is a year to be thankful for what we have, for what we are in the process of creating and to celebrate where we are just in the now. Being in the present moment has never been so crucial as life passes us by so fast. The year is almost over! Where did 2020 go? Yet, there are people out there that are ready to say goodbye to 2020 as it has brought nothing but heartache and destruction. I couldn't agree more. Yet, I still need to remember and not forget what this year has brought forth, after all it is Fall. My favorite time of year.

How can we look at the positive side? How can we move forward even though we've all endured so much? It's challenging. Ask yourselves these questions:

What opportunities are out there?
What new doors of opportunity have opened already?
Did I take them?
Did I open the door?
What new goals are being created?
What new path am I on now that I wasn't on a year ago?
Where do I want to be now, if I am not where I was expected to be?

It's pretty amazing how goals change over time with so much going on in life when we're caught up in it and forget to reflect on it and how our perspective of life can change so fast and so deep. Wouldn't you agree?

My brother-in-law passed away right before Halloween of lymphoma. He was 85 years young. He was allergic to the medication that cures this disease. Unfortunately, his immune system was so frail, that it was pneumonia that finally took over and expired him. However, he had a beautiful death. He died in my sister's arms while looking into her eyes. He was loved. It was a beautiful death. I don't know if it can get better than that. That is ideal.

Death can be an awakening experience for the living. It can be a life changing event. So many people have died this year. We will all have our own death at some point. How do you want to leave this world? How do you plan on passing on? As leaves fall from trees, we are in a time of death so to speak with Fall at our feet and the winter fast approaching. The harvest is gone for now.

Have you ever thought about it? I believe we create our own death whether that is subconsciously or consciously. I believe on some fundamental metaphysical level we all know how we will go or what type of experience we desire or will have. These are very private thoughts.

In my life, I have had friends write about their death and die just the way they told me they would die. And I have had friends tell me that they didn't expect to live past a specific age and didn't live past much of that age. What reality do you wish to create for yourself? We truly create our own reality in this life and our own death. We are the Gods and Goddess of this world. The answer is within. Are you ready to listen?

There are a few quotes from Rumi I just love:

"Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want you are already that."

"When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, ... When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!"

"Respond to every call that excites your spirit"

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation."

"Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."

"We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust."

"If you want something, release the wish, and let it light on its desire, completely free of the personal."

RUMI (quotes)

These are some things I have been thinking about lately and I have been reminded that the answers to my questions are not outside of me, they are within. I embrace the Fall and the winter that is coming.

Learning to let go of people, things, places, jobs, homes, family, pets, judgments, and fears is a life long journey. Let's take it a step at a time, one foot in front of the other. There is no hurry. My brother-in-law Rick loved his morning coffee ritual. I think of him sometimes when it's early around 5 AM. What a wonderful time to be alive and greet the morning.

I wish you love, peace and happiness on your journey.

Hello fresh air, hello winter, hello crackling leaves under my feet, a hot cup of Joe touches my lips as I write this... Oh I LOVE Fall.