Parenting Mistakes
This is not a typical blog post. I’m a parent of a 41 year old son who has made many wrong decision. Looking back I smothered him by doing everything for him. This has hurt him in the long run.
We had helped him thru a bad alcohol stage ( he loved a girl with three kids) but she just drug him thru the dirt and ended the relation Ship Thus became his alcoholic phase. We got him thru rehab, he has not drank since 2012. He did develop pancreatitis which caused him so much pain that he was ready to give up the alcohol. He was doing well until he fell on the ice and had two brain bleeds and a concussion. He is not the same kid he once was.
He gets angry and impatient very easily. He has lived in our basement since graduation tech school ten yrs ago. Fired from his job at goodwill for swearing at a customer. Anyway last Wednesday he came up from the basement and screamed at both my husband and I, said he was leaving and we no longer had a son.
Next morning state police come to the house to say they found him along the road sleeping. my son told them he was homeless so he took him to the homeless shelter.
I couldn’t figure out why he wanted the good Sudafed all the time. I now know why upon my cleaning up his room.
Today I met him at the homeless shelter and he said that this is for the best and he needed to change his life. They will help him find a place to live and a job.
(His boxer died two months ago and he can’t seem to be healing from it yet.)
I feel bad that I’m actually relieved he is not here. I have my hands full with my husband who has Parkinson’s and a lot of other medical issues. I feel less stressed.
I share this with you parents to let your kids make the mistakes and live with the consequence. Do not fight their battles and do not always jump in and save them from learning an important lesson about life.
I have made many mistakes with him that I regret. If I can share this information to any parents out there and it helps them i feel better.
thanks for reading
Kathie
Recent Comments
14
Thank you for sharing, I pray that God's peace envelops your soul in such a trying time, all shall be well🙏
That must be incredibly difficult for you, Kathie. Thank you for sharing your personal story. Prayers go out to all of you. Hang in there!
Susan
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Kathie. My prayers are to your son hoping that he finds his own way to get through this. 🙏
Myra ♥️
My heart goes out to you, Kathie. We must let our kids make their own mistakes and hopefully make the right decisions in the future, but it is difficult to do so. As parents, we visualize the future we want them to have, but that does not happen, and we have to be there to stand with them if that is what they want.
My prayers go with you.
Nancy
If your son had a bad fall and a concussion to the right frontal lobe, then his outbursts of anger and ill temper may be related and he would benefit from a program that addresses this problem. It is more common than people are aware, more so with the veterans. They can get out of control and it is understandable that you feel relief. Don't judge yourself for your feelings. You made mistakes that many parents make but it is now up to him to deal with his issues. Hang in there and try to do some nice things for yourself. Self-care is vital when you are a caregiver.
Thank you very much. This is a new area with my son. We were always together. It’s really rough to let go
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Have you heard of or tried AlAnon Kathie? It does help some people although it's not for everyone.
You have to look after yourself and your husband first. It's easy to become an unwitting enabler to someone you love.
It's a difficult situation and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Rick
Thank you!