The Vicious Cycle of Demotivation
It's sad that my very first blog post has a significantly negative overtone, but I feel the need to get these feelings out somewhere. At least here I am sure to find others who may have been in a similar situation as mine.
I've always had a hard time with motivation. It stems from a lifelong struggle with depression that consists of laziness, self-doubt, anxiety, and a persistent negative outlook on every aspect of life. If there's a worst-case scenario in any given situation, I'll find it!
Naturally this has led me to having struggles here at WA with building my business. I have a lot of things I'm interested in, but most of them are difficult to market and create a business out of. I ended up choosing Equine Hoof Care because it's probably the one thing I know the most about and I always enjoy learning more. The problem is that it's a small market with almost zero horse-specific affiliates. Sure, Amazon is a catch-all and thank goodness for that, but their commission prices are pretty pathetic and most horse products are cheaper elsewhere.
The next problem with my niche is competition, but not of the affiliate kind. My competition is not with product sellers, but information providers. With many well-known and trusted providers of information out there, who would care what some random no-name person has to say on the subject? Not to mention all of the social media avenues that are pursued these days. People want many opinions now, not just one, and it's easy to get lost in the crowd.
All of this has led me to the conclusion that I may be wasting my time with this niche, but considering it's one of the only things I can see myself able to research and write about, it feels like my only option.
I feel trapped, and this causes me to lose motivation. I haven't been posting content with any sense of regularity, and I don't even have any affiliate links set up yet. I know I can't make progress unless I post content, but I feel as though progress won't come regardless. It really is a vicious cycle.
I need this opportunity. Due to a condition I have(not related to depression in any way), I tend to miss a day of work every few weeks, and this doesn't sit well with most employers. Thankfully I have a job now that is more lenient, but the pay is minimum wage and I am forced to live with my father at the age of 25. Even though I pay no rent, try to buy as little food as I can(hello Ramen noodles!), and do my best not to spend frivolously, I barely get all of my bills paid. I have two horses and a dog, but even if I didn't have them, I still wouldn't be able to afford living on my own.
Frustration runs rampant when I think about my situation, and I feel very pressured to change my circumstances, but with no idea how to do so. This causes more frustration, hopelessness, and deepening depression that demotivates me even further. My biggest fear is that I'll eventually just give up, become complacent with my current situation, get rid of my passions(horses/animals in general), and nothing will ever change...
I apologize to anyone reading this for the sheer volume of negativity, but I had to vent all of this somewhere.
Recent Comments
9
Also, another idea is to see if you could contribute to other websites with articles of your experiences....and hopefully bring more traffic to your name and website.
If I could recommend a couple things,...make sure you are getting adequate rest every night and some sunshine every day, and plenty of high quality protein and B vitamins every day. As a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 6, I have wrestled with this almost daily. I had a miscarriage last December that I had severe post-partum depression. Also, essential oils really helped me, and help my very moody 12 year old son as well. Take a deep breath, eat a nutritious meal, get some sleep and then, carry on. There is a website called Nourished Kitchen that has alot of info on healthy eating for depression http://nourishedkitchen.com/therapeutic-lifestyle-changes-depression/, and Michael Hyatt http://michaelhyatt.com/ has a great podcast released this week about the importance of adequate rest.
Thank you for that advice. I do seem to get adequate sleep, surprisingly enough. Especially lately. I don't stay up late, and I tend to wake up about a half hour to an hour before my alarm every morning. Typically I get about 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep a night.
Adequate sunshine is something I tend not to get, however. As soon as I come home I spend the rest of my day in my room, which is a very dark space despite the windows. I try to work on my website, or relax in some other way. Occasionally I'll mess with the horses, which does help with my mood, but then I feel guilty or pressed for time thinking "I should be working on my website...".
I love essential oils, but I've never bought any of the blends from companies such as Young Living or DoTerra, mostly due to cost. I tend to just buy the individual oils. Right now I have orange, lemon, lavender, peppermint, eucalyptus, tea tree, and rosemary.
As for eating healthy, that's a huge problem for me. I love healthy whole foods, but I can't afford much, which leads me to eating whatever I can find. I've kept track before, and even though I'm not underweight or anything, I actually don't consume the daily recommended calorie intake recommended for someone my age and height. Some days I barely reach the 1000 calorie mark, and trust me, that's not by choice. I'm constantly looking for ways to afford healthier budget-friendly foods.
I hear you about the cost! Having 8 mouths total to feed, it gets $$ very fast. But if you can eat more healthy fats, like organic coconut, avocado, EVO oil, maybe that would help? Or eggs from truly free range hens fed a non-gmo diet, either of those things should help with quality calories....
I just had a sense reading your blog that there is something that wants to keep.you down because if you stay down, you won't get the good that's on it's way in your life. So sometimes we have to take a brave step and do something we "can't" afford just to shove over an onstacle that is keeping us bound to our current state. You will be more motivated when you eat well, and therefore be more easily inspired and more readily able to tackle life.
You are a beautiful lady...inside and out. To be able to be vulnerable like this shows an inner strength and courage. Just feed "that" girl, and not the one who doesn't feel she deserves to be taken care of.
Blessings and prayers,
Lea
Believe it or not I can somewhat relate. My medical condition after my service left me taking alot of days off, and now im physically unable to work for the next year while i recover from surgeries. 29 and living at home...it's pretty depressing i know. Ptsd and depression have hampered me for many years. You have to know that deep down even though right now you might be down, it will stop, you will wake up maybe the next morning feeling better. It comes in waves, but it will stop and when it does make the most of it. As far as your niche, i am new to this but i was thinking of going into a small audience market, maybe people dont notice now, but alot of people out there want the truth and first hand experiance, not some stock cut and paste "opinion" . I always say do what you enjoy, if thats not makimg you enough money don't stop, you enjoy it, try adapting, add something, find a niche that you are good at but maybe dont love and do it on the side, but dont stop doing something you enjoy. I wish you the best of luck, and i hope that you come to be successful and happy more often than not.
Thank you. It definitely helps to hear that there are others in a similar situation, and while our conditions stem from different circumstances, I can definitely understand. I wish you the best as well, and I will do my bet to follow your advice.
Salutations to you. I haven't had personal experience with this product, but I have heard amazing reviews from very trusted sources about a product called Plexus especially for PTSD and depression. Also my reply above to Kaolru may help you as well. Hope you can get the help you deserve! Blessings.
See more comments
Hello Kaoiru: Welcome to WA; thanks for the follow. It is a good thing that you are able to vent, that's a healthy approach in working towards a resolve. That said, you have joined a community where there's something good for everyone wanting it badly enough. Focus on doing the training, that's your platform for change With a strong foundation in place you can then build an amazing structure. Do not allow the luxury of negative thoughts. Stay strong and be positive even in negative circumstances.
I haven't followed you, actually. Also, I am doing the training, but I can't move forward as of yet until I post more content.
I appreciate your encouragement, but simply telling someone to "stay positive" is not helpful. It oversimplifies the real problem and makes it sound insignificant. If staying positive were that easy, depression wouldn't exist.