Kiss your fear good buy, At least try.
Hello everyone,
I was writing an email for my 15 subscribers and I wanted to procrastinate a little bit and write a blog post about failure.
A great way to procrastinate, isn't it?
Today, I wanted to talk about Fear, fear to lose money, fear to fail, fear to be ashamed and the fear of being ridiculous.
I don't know for you, but here in France, I noticed that people are afraid to lose, it is a cultural habit that is killing their dreams. I noticed that they want to work as early as possible to make a living. At the age of 18 years old they generally get their first flat, start working and start living paycheck to paycheck. Even if in Algeria we praise this kind of behavior, being independent, we actually think it's not that good for future projects.
When you think about it for a second, you'll notice the logic behind this behavior. You are independent, yes, it's great but you have a lot of bills to pay, you will be obliged to work full-time and you'll be less and less creative. The only solution is to work to pay the bills. The final result, you maybe climb in the society you're working for, have a better salary. But you'll never think that you are capable of working for yourself.
In other words, you'll lose your creativity and create a barrier that will kill your dreams. You become a worker instead of an entrepreneur.
As an immigrant, I had this fear of failure because I didn't want people to know what I am doing, our culture is to never share your thoughts, instead share your results. It is a good thing but sometimes it can hold you back from achieving great things in life.
What we want people to see is that you are a hard worker, the work they praise is not blogging, or anything related to the internet. It is working hard to become a doctor, an engineer or a biologist. Which, is the case in most under developed countries. Our parents tend to force us to work very hard to become very educated because status is what matters the most for them. They often don't realize that being a doctor is forcing you to work at least 10 hours a day.
We need doctors, engineers, or architects, in our everyday life, but they often work so hard to save the lives of others that they forget to take care of themselves.
To be personal for a second, my family is experiencing that, we are highly educated but we don't have the time to see our children grow.
- My sister is a biologist, she had her MBA degree last year and she is unemployed for now, but she is likely to work for 12 hours a day in her coming job.
- My brother is an engineer and his wife is a doctor, they both work hard and live for the weekend.
- My other brother is the most curious, he's just like me, he's passionate about psychology and he's studying at the university for now. But he's destined to become a psychologist, or an entrepreneur just like I want to do.
- My father is an entrepreneur, he created a lot of societies that didn't work, now he's an expert in human resources, but he's doing translation job for a friend of his. He translates from French to Arabic official documents concerning land ownerships and other real estate documents.
In America it's not that different, Go to school, Get good grades, go to the university, get a good job, pray and live a simple life... Invest in the stock market, watch television and never look to improve yourself. Because change is not that good. Once you hit the jackpot in life you're good to die...
Why is all that happening? What the goal behind all that?
We can and we should be rebellious, we have to follow our dreams and we have the moral obligation to succeed. Don't listen to your parents, they are generally wrong when it comes to what YOU really want.
I wanted to stop studying, but I couldn't because I was afraid to disappoint my parents, I was afraid to be rejected. Even if my family is very supportive I couldn't stop thinking about that. Being ridiculous is one of my biggest fears, and even if I am aware of all that, I continue to hide things to my parents, they don't know what I am doing now. Now they know I built a site and I am writing to improve my career.
I didn't expect that, but they said, it's a good thing, just do it and you'll succeed. I was afraid to disappoint them. But at the end, they are proud I am taking initiatives to change my life for the better.
Don't forget that if you are afraid of something, there is no need to be afraid. Just go for it, chase your dreams and never stop learning. Practice your skills every single day and you are good to go.
You have to unlock the power within, and fear is the one holding that power within.
Thank you for reading and thank you for your support.
Tell me in comments what is your biggest fear? Afraid to fail, afraid to sound and look ridiculous, afraid of what others think? Afraid to lose money in the process?
To finish this I would say that if you are afraid, it's okay for now, but you'll notice that it's a self-defense mechanism your brain is creating in order to preserve you.
Thank you and don't forget to be awesome, because you are!!
Your friend Juba.
Recent Comments
7
Great Approach Micheal :)
We don't have to be afraid, GaryVee says: "If you are afraid of everything, you are afraid of nothing"
Thank you for your comment :)
Juba.
Wow! what an inspiring post! I wish I had your insight of life at an early age like you, I came to realize what you are saying in this post BUT later on in my life, and I am working at my dream now to become independent for my retirement years (which are not that far away). I know it takes time and effort so that is why I am going at it now, so that when the time comes, I will be "time independent" and won't have to work the daily 9 to 5 grind! I am also encouraging my daughter (who is now 17) to pursue "her dreams" and not be a "sheep" and follow what everybody else is doing...
Thanks for this very inspiring post Juba, I wish you success and wealth!!!
Hello there,
First of all, thank you for your reply and thank you for your compliments :)
Actually, I always thought differently, I never was that good at school and I wanted to work since I was a child, I wanted to do business. But it was not a good thing because those who did business in my country were poor people.
They often go to markets to sell bags, chewing gum, peanuts and other things, to make an extra income to help their families,
I had a lot of friends who started arbitrage businesses just like these and they actually did great. I was sitting with them, learning the process and how things were done.
Later in life, while I continued to study they continued the business, I find out that some of them live a great life while I am lifting bags for other people.
The irony is that they are the ones who built wealth while those who studied and went to college work in modern prisons where they feel free without really experiencing freedom.
You know, business doesn't care about your age, your ethnicity, your background, your story or your knowledge. The fact that you are taking the step to change your life is a great thing no matter how old you are. You already win because you took the step towards change.
Thank you again, have a nice day, or night. The Internet doesn't care about time either. Lol
Juba.
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Great post! I have failed many times and have picked myself up and tried a different direction. My biggest fear is not learning the lesson from the failure and repeating over and over again the same mistakes! I know the definition of insanity!! I have to admit to have done this on an occasion or two.
I truly appreciate your post! Have a great day,
Valerie
Hello Valerie,
You know, I had the same problem, I always repeated the same mistakes. Now I try to be more aware of what I am doing. Actually, when we do things in life we don't feel we are mistaken. That's why we tend to repeat the same mistakes.
Being accountable is the step you should take into consideration.
Let me give you a concrete example of what it means to be accountable, from my own experience.
I have this bad habit of losing my things, I don't know why but I often lose my glasses, my keys, and it happens at least once a month.
So recently, I went to visit a friend of mine and I lost my keys outside. In our neighborhood. I searched for them for a long time and I didn't find them. My wife came back home and came to our friends' house and we went back to our house.
After that, my wife took the initiative and told a 14-year-old girl to open an eye, she told her: "If you find keys, just tell me, they are mine." She said: "Okay, I will ask for other children and if we find something I will give them back to you."
Two weeks later, I came back home with my child, and when I arrived at my front door, I surprised a child trying to enter my home with my own keys. He found my keys outside, in our neighborhood. I was in shock, this 17-year-old child was trying to rob my house.
I said wow, to be honest, I was afraid it wasn't the first time he tried to enter my house. I chased him and I asked for my keys, he was afraid and he also was in shock. He gave me back my keys and begged for mercy. So, I let him go.
I found out that the girl whom I asked for a favor was the one who told the potential robber that I lost my keys and it was my house's keys.
My wife was also in shock and she told me to never lose the keys again, she pointed out that it was dangerous.
I told her: "we should be more accountable, I lost my keys but no one was supposed to know they're mine, the fact that you told the girl they're ours, brought thieves."
All without telling her, that it was her fault. Because it was not.
She said: "You are right, but it was the risk I took to recover our keys."
Later on this day, I talked to the girl and she told me they just wanted to verify if they're ours before giving them back.
I actually, trusted her, and I didn't go to the police. But I thought, maybe they're just idiots or I am the idiot because I trusted her.
In fact in this situation, we are being both responsible and accountable, we both were aware of the situation, and we both agreed that it was our fault and not other's fault. Next time, I hope this won't happen again, I will never tell a tiers person about the situation.
I know it's a long comment, but I wanted to share this with you. Maybe this will help you and inspire you.
To recap, you have to be both responsible and accountable, be aware of your mistakes, so that you'll not make them again. Think about the mistakes you've made in the past and try to be aware of all the steps that led to these mistakes. Once you spot the real reasons, just erase them and try again.
I hope this helps you, I really want you to succeed.
Don't forget to be awesome, because you already are :)
Juba.
Hello Juba,
Thank you for sharing. Since I have no one to blame but myself it makes it a bit easier to be accountable. I appreciate you sharing. I will continue to learn and grow from such wonderful examples such as yourself.
Thank you again,
Valerie