Change Scares Me
In general I love the idea of change. I am a big picture time person, I love living and breathing projects and process improvement. Get in, learn it, understand it, make it better, and move on.
But when it comes to my personal life, I am just as excited about the idea of change but then when it's about to become reality, the fear sets in. I am so excited about WA, about changing my life, about building a lifestyle that allows me to work online, set me own hours, travel and be my own boss. I'm thrilled about the idea of creating my own success and being the one who brings my dreams to life.
But once it gets to the point that I've gotten the idea for the change, thought it out, accepted it, and now have to implement it, all of these issues/ problems/ distractions/ doubts set in.
It's insidious. An excuse to delay, then a doubt about if it will be successful, a reason to focus on something else. One little thing on top of another until, if I'm not careful, I will have talked myself out of it.
I've taken on a lot right now. My day job is going through a massive restructuring and a lot of positions are being cut; I'm vying for a better one, even though I know this is where I want to be, not there. So my attention, effort and goal is already split between the two careers.
I'm trying to learn how to run 5k in time for a race that is now only 3 weeks away and in the last two weeks it seems like Ive had constant excuses and reasons to not practice because practicing is hard. So I'm setting myself up for failure.
I'm trying to launch a second website. Which is distracting me from posting as regularly on my original website, and the second one is stalled on a critical review because I want it to be exceptional. So I keep putting it off until I have more time to focus.
I've been unconsciously setting myself up for failure, because as soon as success became a real possibility my fear response triggered. Afraid to lose the person I am today to become the person this will turn me into. It's illogical but it's there.
So I'm calling myself out on it here, in a public forum. I've been making excuses to avoid embracing this amazing change because I'm afraid. It's natural to be afraid but it's irrational. Life will be infinitely better if I keep moving forward and realize the wonderful life change can create.
I'm going to face my fear and work on calming it. I have an important event tomorrow that is also input to a couple articles I'm working on for my website. But all day Sunday I'm now dedicating to myself, to WA, to facing my fears and moving through this wall I'm staring at.
I wrote this more for myself than for anyone else, so I apologize for the longwindedness, but publishing it will help me face up to my avoidance tactics, and if anyone else experiences these symptoms,maybe it'll help you too. :)
Recent Comments
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Never apologize for writing down your feelings, even if it is a public post! If people know where you're at in life, then the WA community can help you, even if it means encouraging you, and cheering you on! :) Is there anything I can do to help you out?
Thank you for saying that, Terry. Just having amazing people on here like you respond helps. And voicing my concerns helps me face and conquer those fears and self doubts.
I took a day today to do something active and fun with good friends and it really helped centre me and get me back on track after a hectic week.
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One thing you must realize is that change is stepping into the unknown. We tend to be comfortable and backpeddle when our
Comfort zone is challenged. I remember the Indiana Jones movie where they can't see the bridge but step out trusting
Their instinct that it's there
Fear is what keeps us from stepping out and facing the unknown
The one thing about being your own boss is you can retire for a day or 2 then unretire lol
And go back to work
Like the song. "Don't worry be happy"
You are so right. I took today off to recharge and re-center and I'm feeling much more confident and able to push through me fears. I needed a short break to breathe before I leap jnto the next unknown! :)