How To Crash and Burn From Too Many Goals
At a cookout last weekend a family friend kept asking me the same question but in different ways. Why do you ask, because she couldn't believe my answer.
Her question was...." Since you're not using your master’s degree, what's your plan now?" My response was simply.... I don't know.
My friend isn't used to me not having a goal that I'm working towards. My whole adult life I was fueled by a goal and sacrificing everything to accomplish it. When I would achieve it, I would decide on another goal and the cycle would continue.
I completed my master’s degree at age 36. My whole life I knew I was supposed to be a mental health counselor. Funny thing is after completing my degree and working in my new career I wasn't happy. I didn't have another goal to strive for. I felt like I was just floating along with no purpose, even though my work was very meaningful.
Depression set in and I began missing a lot of work. After 2 1/2 years of counseling others, I quit my job. For the first month I mostly slept, and it was a dark time for me. My family and friends were really worried about me. I just wanted to sleep. It was almost like I was catching up on years of sleep.
Month 2 I decided I had to get up and do something to keep myself busy until I could figure things out. I started doing brand ambassador gigs and really enjoyed it. I finally decided on a new goal, and it was to not have a goal to see where the universe takes me.
For the first time in my life I don't have a plan or goal and it feels amazing. It's still kind of strange to not have every second of my day planned but so far it's working, and I feel good about it.
My goals got me out of bed every morning. They also took precious time away from loved ones that I can never get back. I was so driven by my goals my family didn't get to spend much time with me.
The moral of my story is don't let your goals keep you from enjoying the present. I was so focused on my future I lost sight of the present. Finding a healthy balance is difficult but if you don't you will eventually crash and burn like I did.
Will I get back in to mental health counseling again? Probably at some point but not right now.
Cheers,
Jamie Humbert
https://healthydiabeticdogs.com
Recent Comments
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that is a really insightful view of goals, Jamie, yes it can become the all encompassing passion that disregards everything else and becomes the unhealthy obsession in your life.
There is the other side. I look at goals as the end result of what I am doing now.
Nature has an incubation period to deliver, this is how nature works, the baby takes 9 months before it faces the world, it takes 12 months to complete the yearly cycle. There are cycles of the weather. The fruit tree does not fruit the first year it is planted it takes an incubation period for that to happen.
I am glads you have decided to come through here, take your time, be relaxed and take your time here, I wish you the best
Thank you for the insightful reply. It's good to have goals but no to become obsessed with them like I did. Good luck to you as well.
Hi Jamie,
That's a nice perspective- and I've identified with you in a lot of areas. This is especially where you got to a point and felt you are burnt out and needed a month of rest- catching upo on lost sleep. I'm headed there. I'll want to do exactly that, then later on figure out what to do next. In the meantime, keep writing to us at WA or your blog/s. There must be many of us burning out already. And that could revive your career- but not in the conventional world again.
.
Watching for your next step!
- Boniface
Sometimes there's no stopping it. I knew for 1 year it was coming, but I couldn't seem to fix it. Part of me feels I was trying to live up to the worlds expectations. I've always set unrealistic goals for myself but always seem to achieve them. I was just finally at a point that I was so unhappy and it wasn't for a particular reason. My crash and burn was like a reset button for me, and it was long over due. I always keep in mind a quote from one of my favorite movies "Ruin is a gift."
Thanks for the reply!
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Hi Jamie,
Caring for yourself needs to be #1 priority. Without your health, you can't do anything. Take your time to heal & assess your life. Eventually, you will be able to determine not only what you want to do, but, also what will be best for you. Follow your heart & higher guidance it never steers you wrong.
Best wishes for your success,
Lovetta**
Thank you Lovetta. I'm trying to take care of myself right now and see where the universe takes me.