"There's Brumbies and then, there's Thoroughbreds.

byHori123

92 followers

4 years ago

Ok. It's going to be ok.

The beginning of things is difficult. This was no different.
A manual labourer, with a strong back and hard hands, I remember the day they abandoned me and left me floundering like that proverbial fish out of water;
'What would I do NOW?'

ABC123. Repeat. ABC123. Repeat.....
With every trauma, depression to some degree, follows.
And from such demand for change (for survivals sake), the warrior within emerges or the coward without, crawls further into the dark.

Which I am, I know not. Not at the moment.
I have spent two months of recuperation, drug dependency and crazy inner (and outer) voices belittleing my efforts to better myself. I have finally turned and planted my feet in the earth.
Earth feels good.
It cringes up between my toes and moulds shape beneath me, reminding me that it is here, that I stand, Here i am planted, for the moment.
Just long enough to check the voices. Long enough to let them know, i know.

I allow them to see my resolve is stronger, my conviction firm.
I allow them insight just long enough to throw them off balance and then, I swiftly move forward.

Not just one website; four.
Juggling it all like the guy on the unicycle, waiting, waiting, waiting....
But there has been no Fall, no significant Fail.
And I am not tired. i am wired.
Wired for more.
Learn. Do. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat...........

Prioritising which of the four gets the Penthouse and how the others rate, in descending value... I find that I am happy they are all within range of one another. None is There and Beyond; None are ignored and forgotten or traded away like a man hunting a new LifeWife.
I sleep 4 hours. I work at my job 10. I work this job, the balance. Minus eating, shitting, resetting and rebalancing.
What else should I do in preparation for Success?
Go beaching? Play Golf? Watch TV?
"...In Preparation for Success".
That's what i do; PREPARE.
Abe Lincoln said 'If I had 8 hours to cut down a tree, I'd spend 6 sharpening my axe' or something to that effect.
I ain't wasting Time.
I'm 60 (the new Thirty 30!!!) years old apparently, so I got the money Honey, you got the Time, as that old song sings, meaning that I want VALUE for the COST I pay every day and even now, at two months in, I'M GETTING IT.
Not actual $$$, not yet.
But the IDEA of How to.
"Give a Man a Fish and he wil eat the fish and be hungry tomoro. Teach him to catch fish and he will NEVER be hungry" or some such thing.
That's what this is.
Giving a fish is the Easier option.
You pick a decent size one of the many you have, hold it out, accept the gratitude and feel like the Good Samaritan for five minutes and go home thinking what a Nice Guy you Are.
Or you take the Time. And teach the HOW to.
That takes Patience and Peseverance and Persuasion and it isn't over in 5 minutes!
It drags on and on... days, weeks, months. Years.
But there comes that time, that Time.
Currently, I'm number 35 and 1/2 thousandth. Plus two.
But I don't give a shit about the number. I'm more interested in the learning and perhaps I am an unsociable 'Bear in a Cave' type but even a bear in a cave learns stuff.
I have learned well.
There are good people taking their own time out to comment and offer suggestions and I feed off that. To me, the growth lies in tapping into the sap of that knowledge tree and feasting on it, using it to grow firm and strong and one day, I will shelter the new growth.
But for now, i happily plod. One foot, next foot....on and on and on.

I was never fast nor slow.
I kept a good pace that would keep me moving forward all day.
When I was a kid in the '70s, they had an annual horse race in my rural and coastal NZ village.
All the local hunters and farmers would bring out their prized brumbies and quarter horse breeds and the local sheep stations, their stationbreeds and from town, would come a parade of 'townie' thoroughbred beauties.
The race itself was not normal.
It was on the beach, a mile to the turning marker and back.
Across hard and soft sand, small seabound streams and over marshmallow soft sand dunes and back again.

The Station and thoroughbreds always got away quick, bounding down the hard sand like they always did, fast and pretty to watch.
The brumbie mongrel breeds would follow waaay behind, smaller but bigger in proportion.
The flash horses would hit the soft. They would maintain the lead.
They would hit the streams and balk at them but keep going, holding that lead.
The Dunes would get them.
Higher than a house and thick as soft sugar, the froth would be flying back into their rolling eyeballs.
Some would grit their bit and keep at it, rear haunches sweaty and quivering and all the while, the mongrel would be gaining.
Slowly but surely.
The Thoroughbred and Stationbreds never won.
The Mongrels always came in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5......

It is not how pretty and fast I do my job or how big my muscles are or how much experience I have or how much taller I am or how cute my walk is.
It how I hold on, that counts.
Just running the whole distance at 3/4 pace, all day and all night.

Some call it tenacity. Others, work ethic. Some, downright pigheadedness.
I don't care what they call it, how it looks running at you or whether it's pretty or ugly.
It's all about finishing.

WA has been and still is, my tutor leading from the front.
All I'm doing is striding behind, a bit every day, keeping in contact, just fitting enough in to outside of my normaltiy of LIFE to follow that lead.
I'm not worried about those with ABC after their name or Experience Up the WaaZoo.
I'm not concerned about those frothing at the mouth and rolling their eyeballs at the little things that drown them and won't let them go.
I'm concerned about finishing. One step at a time.|

I understand it's a community and like every community not everyone likes to be up the front, bouncing on their toes and singing 'Hallelujah'. Some, like me, prefer to say nothing much, do what they're told and keep moving forward to the end.

My end is working from home, making enough money to get my family by and along the way, if I happen to connect with someone I feel in sync with, I will spend the time getting to know them.

Well 1200 words is about it for me.
Get it out there, tick the boxes and move on.
How simple can it be?