Goals and Habits: Understanding the Link.

byGlennon52

62 followers

2 years ago

If you want to achieve something in life, whether that be losing weight, developing a business or beginning a creative endeavor - whatever it is, how do you go about making it happen? What steps do you take to bring that goal into fruition?

Let’s say you want to write a novel. It’s been in your head for years. You have a clear idea for the story and you know the characters inside and out. You've been communicating with them, kind of, for so long they’re almost as real as other peripheral “real” people in your life. The only difference is you know their secrets and inner-most private thoughts because you’ve created them. You’ve lived with them and watched as they’ve developed. You might attempt to write a few sentences here and there; possibly complete a course or research how to do it but for one reason or another, it just never happens.

Something always gets in the way. But one day you decide the time is right. You’re going to write that novel!

Of course, you could switch the word novel with almost anything and the same process would still apply. The task, hobby or new ANYTHING that we want to introduce into our lives usually circulates in our mind for a while before we take action. So if it helps, think in terms of something relevant to your life and apply it to the following scenarios going forward.

Imagine you find the motivation to act, what do you do first?

Scenario one.

You turn the computer on and go for it! You write for hours. It comes pouring out. Your fingers can’t move quick enough! This story has been stuck in your subconscious, bursting to be released into reality. Now the opportunity has arrived and you don’t want to waste another moment. Your mind is alive with creativity. Everything else in your life becomes a burden. Television shows you enjoy don’t compare. Your children and friends mean nothing. Personal hygiene doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t want to do anything else except work on that novel!

A week later (probably sooner) you begin to hit a few snags. That energy isn’t quite the same and it’s not coming to you as easily as it did before. Maybe you have a solid beginning and an amazing ending but where’s the middle? Where’s the thrust of the story? The plot? The character development?

When this happens something else begins to creep into your consciousness…Doubt. Good old reliable Doubt appears and all of a sudden you’re in imposter syndrome territory. "I can't do this." "I'll never be as good as..." Doubt raises barriers in all directions and now the writing is a chore littered with a minefield of problems and unforeseen issues you hadn’t considered before.

It’s not fun anymore.

So what happens to that novel? It gets stored in a file somewhere on your computer - out of sight so you can't be reminded of what could have been. This is the same for losing weight, learning a language etc. etc.

Scenario Two.

You make a plan. One that consists of developing achievable targets that help you see a very real and workable progression towards the end goal of having a novel written. These achievable targets are small to begin with because it’s very important we keep Doubt at bay for as long as possible.

This is where forming a healthy habit comes into action.

Doubt will appear again, this is inevitable, so we need a technique that keeps Doubt looking in the other direction while we build in confidence - while we produce evidence to combat those thoughts when they arise. And we achieve this by the process of Little and Often. Small writing goals that build and build until words become chapters and so on.

Your brain notices when you push other aspects of your life aside to make room for something new. Instead of allowing this newbie to suddenly nudge other hobbies or commintements out of the way, use the Little and Often process and a healthy habit begins to form slowly. So when Doubt finally notices what you're doing, you have the supporting evidence on hand to say “Hey, Doubt, look what we can achieve? It's okay. We got this!”

Here are two amazing Audible recommendations that may be of interest:

1. The Chimp Paradox.
2. I Know What To Do, So Why Don't I Do It?

Understanding the Link.

Planning is the key to achieving goals and the Little and Often process is the Link that creates a sustainable habit. During the early stages of habit formation you want your mind to be filled with positive associations that don’t infringe heavily on other parts of our life. Otherwise Doubt will appear and try to shut it down. It's helpful to have some firm realisations in place at the beginning of any new process: It's new. You will make mistakes. You're learning. It's okay not knowing everything. Comparing yourself to others is not helpful. Aspiring to be successful in your own right is healthy. Goals are achievable with the Little and Often process. Doubt is not a true representation of your reality and abilities. You can do it.