Help Please !!!

Last Update: July 04, 2013
Hello all I am looking for some thoughts on this article....

Does it flow well, it follows a good path it does not jump around? Easy to read, enough fishing info to get started fishing at this location...

What do you guys think...

Thanks for your thoughts appreciated... http://69.siterubix.com/sample-page

Tim
Join the Discussion
Write something…
Recent messages
Dforbes Premium
Hi Tim
I like your writing style, but I'm not exactly sure what you're attempting to achieve. If you're just trying to tell us a bit about your fishing trip then ok, but if you're writing for marketing purposes it would seem better to break this up into three short spicy pieces: 1. your trip down the river; 2. the fishing experience; and 3. the cooking and eating experience. Hope this helps pal
Reply
fishing Premium
Thanks for the comment Dforbes the article is not for marketing it is for a magazine, or actually is a offering of my writing for them to check out...thanks for the suggestions...
Reply
CoachEd Premium
I liked it ---keep it up.
Reply
fishing Premium
Thanks for the comment glad you enjoyed it...:)
Reply
CoachEd Premium
I Liked it for sure---keep up the good work!!!
Reply
fishing Premium
Again thanks for the inspiration....:)
Reply
jghwebbrand Premium
fishing,

Your article is good reading. I do have a question. What is your objective? Are you trying to make some commissions with this article? Or, just wanted to write something on a subject that you know?

As an online marketer, you always want to try to make some money or a commission by selling something to the visitors to your site where your article is.

If this is just your first page of many, then you are off to a great start.

Wish you the best!
Reply
fishing Premium
My objective is to give a magazine a sample of my writing for possible free lance opportunity's.....thanks for the comments....:)
Reply
Hudson Premium
Liked it, good storyline and kept me interested,
Regards
Hudson.
Reply
fishing Premium
Thanks Hudson glad you enjoyed it....this is going to get sent off....hope they like it...for a magazine....:)
Reply
Top