Day 12: Be patient, Me, or I'll smack ya.

byEmnM2020

85 followers

4 years ago

I've got links in my work. I joined every affiliate program related to lamps I could think of today. I'll have traffic going to Lowes and Home Depot and Wayfair, which is hella dope. And I've got soooooo many more ideas.

I feel the desperation kicking in, like it did last time. That desperation for my investment to pan out, for the money to come rolling in, already, because I really need the money right now. Holidays. Feh.

It's this irrational sensation that if the three link-filled posts I made in the last few days haven't earned me at least $20 by tomorrow morning, then this plan is a bust for not working right now, dammit. Nothing in life works that way.

Can you imagine the farmers, growing the corn we use in fricken everything tilling the soil, planting the seeds, watering them for a day, then throwing up their hands the next morning and exclaiming, "The corn is clearly never growing! Burn and salt the ground, cuz this is a failure and we're stupid, useless, trash people who will always be poor!"

I mean... Who does that?

Me. I do that. A lot more than I like to admit.

I can consider this an exercise in patience and cultivation. I suck at cultivating things - basil plants, habits, hobbies, relationships... I'd rather lay in bed, alone, and dream my dreamy dreams with no one to bother me. It's my preference, but its no way to truly live.

I also have dreamy dreams to tour Scotland, and live in a house. Those can be real, but not from my bed. I have to cultivate that before it happens.

So its time to take a step back, breathe for a minute, and maybe go to bed. Who knows? By morning, my dream of making my first $20 will also be real...