How do you get rid of a fear you can't see?
I have a fear of being sucessful.
This is a fear that comes from many different sources and occurences; mine just happened to be people constantly tearing me down and trying to make me fit into a box for my own good. These were my closest, yet skeptical friends and some dear, yet snide-remarking family members. Its not a unique story, but how it turns into something that prevents you from making progress is different for everyone. I have a lot of fears that don't stop me from doing anything, so what makes this different?
It's the outcome I think success will have.
It can either be really good, leading into more opportunity than I could ever dream in aiding my happiness, or I can lack being careful and end up just delaying falling down rock bottom. I'm very afraid that natural high from smart work, no matter how great, isn't worth the potential free fall of a comedown. So, because I have this fear, does that mean I won't be successful?
No, it doesn't.
Some things are ready for you even if you aren't ready for them, and that includes great things! Things that you deserve and are on the right track to having, that will help (Read: Assist, not give) you have happiness. We all have very redeemable traits, things that come naturally to us that are beneficial in completing anything we're good at. For example..
I network naturally. I'm always grateful for *any* skill that someone is really passionate about that they're willing to share with me. Whether it's sleeping or eating, to building apps for companies and making wall street yours, I always love having at least one of everything in my networking bucket. The only catch?
I gravitate towards a certain type of person.
A person who is always working on improving themselves in some way, for the good of themselves as well as others. I don't mesh well with those who don't budge a centimeter from their bubble in the world, and I firmly believe in always trying to improve something; even if it's just how you feel.
It's very healthy, natural and beneficial to surround yourself with those who make you feel your best. Helping yourself so that you can help others is a great strategy to make the world a better place, and to heal yourself and allow yourself to make a change and do great things. It's very freeing, and allows you to free others as well when they're ready for your assistance.
Now, with all this being said, am I going to be successful without effort? No way, no how! I am only going to be successful if I keep pushing that envelope, pushing against my fear, and allowing what I am good at to continuously become better. I also have to be open to learning new things, whether on my own or through structured training here at Wealthy Affiliate. No matter how scared or doubtful , if I want this I have to be willing to take any benign, unlikely, or worthy risks that are in the way between me and success.
I hope that reading this post has inspired you to answer a few of the questions I pondered as I wrote, including:
- You have a fear that prevents progress. We all have a lot of fears that don't stop us from doing anything, so what makes this different?
- Because I have this fear, does that mean I won't be successful?
- What's a skill that comes to me naturally that I'm good at? (Hint: If you can't think of anything that you may be good at the moment; think of something you were good at that you could brush up on again or would like to be good at! Also, that skill your not sure if it counts? Yes it does! )
- Is there a catch for that skill, if so, is it wrong? Why or why not?
- Are you going to be successful without effort? If so, how? Otherwise, why not?
Looking forward to your comment responses. :)
With love,
E
Recent Comments
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You would be most surprised to learn this is a fear so very many of us have. I've often felt people will actually sabotage their efforts because they were achieving a level of success they weren't comfortable with.
My mother often commented that my father became an alcoholic because he was achieving too much success (his own heating/AC business with TV commercials, etc.) too quickly and didn't know how to handle it. He likely felt unworthy of that success
My unsolicited advice: Realize YOU ARE DESERVING of any and all success you achieve. It is YOUR hard work and determination that has brought you where you are and it is YOUR hard work and determination will lead you to success.
You are here - on this planet - to be SUCCESSFUL. Period.
Susan
Yes! I've done it many times, however I probably would have never found WA If I hadn't... I would probably be trying to make Amway and Beachbody work still! Not to knock those programs, but network marketing with limited products and price ranges definitely wasn't for me.
I really hope a large wave of us lose that fear, bit by bit in the coming months. Winter is a perfect time for changes for the new year!
I'm sorry about your father's alcoholism, yes it seems he was quite overwhelmed. I hope he is doing better now, and is in a better place physically, mentally and spiritually. That's on my list of fears- Becoming overwhelmed and not being able to handle things. Sometimes gifts can be too much, and we must be careful to make sure we can carry them or crash under the weight.
Thank you, you help me to realize and remember this.
Oh my...what an honor!
I'm so glad you found my advice useful.
And yes, feel free to quote me anytime!
Aww darling, Thank you for sharing something so good!
Thanks love, hope your night Is going well!
E
Elaina, great, thought provoking and very profound post. Much of it reflects within and resonates with many of us,
The element of "fear" and the antidote to it are best captured, in my humble opinion, in the following great quotes which I have pinned to my profile:
“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Cristoforo Colombo
"But effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction." JFK
Together, as the WA worldwide community, we will find not only that courage to overcome it but also the right purpose and direction to reach our destination.
Blessings!
Thank you gpreda! Blessings to you as well, and thank you for sharing your lovely quotes! I do share your belief these quotes hold a cure for fear if you let them. I really resonate with the Cristoforo Colombo one, especially after swimming in the ocean for the first time this weekend! Quite an experience. JFK was very wise, his quotes are usually very insightful!
Yes, we will! Here's to purpose and direction! :)
With love,
Elaina
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Elaina,
We seldom "see" the fears as they reside in the subconscious mind, tucked away, ready to sabotage our progress, and thereby keep us "safe".
Often, the fear of success is rooted in other more basic fears ... for example, the fear of rejection or fear of abandonment can have far-reaching effects on many aspects of our lives.
Self-sabotage is much more common than most people realize ... and can manifest itself in many different ways. Fear of public speaking, fear of change, fear of rejection, etc.
Finding the root cause is not easy, but with help from a counselor or hypnotherapist, it can usually be identified and resolved quickly. The negative beliefs, at the root of the fear, can be replaced with positive outcomes, quickly and without stress or anxiety.
The release from subconscious baggage is both empowering and fulfilling as you can finally eliminate these negative influences forever.
Success is there waiting for you ... Awaken Your Potential
Yes, they do unfortunately. I've found that statement to be true of my own fear of success, stemming from something else. It's so ironic how creative self sabotage is against creative efforts