Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all according to the saying? When you've truly known love and lose it, nothing else compares, no substitutions will do because you know what it feels like, you know what it is and you look for that in others.

January 13th will be 8 years since I've lost the best thing that ever happened to me. The one I thought I'd spend forever with, the one who drove me so crazy at times I wanted to smother him with a pillow on occasion, the one who'd pick me roses from his Rose garden just because it was a Tuesday, the one who unknowingly made me a better person, the one I thought I wasn't good enough for but he loved me anyway, the one that stole my heart and very soul, the one I can never replace because he was truly one of a kind. Cancer you simply SUCK!!

Sometimes I wish our paths had never crossed, wished that I'd never loved you at all. If I hadn't I wouldn't know what I'd be missing, I wouldn't know what to feel or how to feel it, I wouldn't stop seeing a guy because I know his heart isn't really in it and I'm just the girl preoccupying his time for a moment until the next skirt catches his attention. Love is so different now. So is it really better to love and loss or is it truly better to never love at all? At least with not knowing love at all you don't know what you're missing where as if you've truly known love I mean truly known it, it's like a knife to the heart repeatedly.

Just my thoughts for a cold Wednesday evening.