It's All About Asking The Right Questions

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3 years ago

Everybody here at WA has seen some kind of setback and with every one of them you have to decide how to deal with it. If the setback is too much for you, you might call it a day and continue tomorrow, next week, or even decide to quit altogether. After all, why doesn't your website generate more traffic after all the work and effort you've put into it?

Even if you don't quit, it is perfectly normal to be frustrated about why your image won't align or why you can't get that plugin to work like you want it to. By doing this you make use of a very powerful mechanism in the human mind, although you could use it in a much better way.

You might recognize this mechanism better in another situation. If I would say to you 'Don't think about a pink elephant right now' you're probably thinking about just that: a pink elephant. The same goes for when you're afraid and somebody tries to comfort you by saying 'Don't be afraid, there's nothing to be afraid of'. As you probably know from experience, it doesn't work that way.

This is because your brain needs a purpose, something it can focus on. If it hears 'pink elephant', it focuses on that even if you don't want to. It's just like that with being afraid. A 'Don't use your phone while you're driving your car' triggers the urge to take a quick look at your phone to see if you've received any messages. 'Smoking is bad for you' makes you long for a cigarette.

The key to make use of this mechanism is to focus on something in a positive way. Instead of 'Don't use your phone' you could say 'Go offline while driving'. There are many more examples of how you could formulate the same thing positively. Compare for example the following:
- Due to our holiday we're closed until 5 April.
- We are on our holiday! We're keen to help again on 5 April.

The message is the same, but the feeling is different. What would you say when you're happy that you could help a fellow WA member?
- No problem!
- Happy to help you!

When you focus on the positive, it makes you feel better right away. There's not just that, but focusing has another effect. Have you ever noticed that after you bought new shoes you saw them everywhere? Or you want to buy a new car and suddenly you see that brand driving everywhere?

This is the way your brain works: it makes you see the things you want to see. When you deal with something upsetting it's therefore important to deal with it in a positive way, so your brain automatically focuses on your problem in a positive way. This way you can use the full potential of what's locked away in your head!

Let's go back to the questions I raised at the beginning of this post. Why doesn't my website generate more traffic? Why isn't my plugin doing what it is supposed to do? These questions seem excellent questions in solving your problem. Every question automatically makes you focus on the answer which helps you solve your problem.

However, we now know that thinking of not doing something doesn't really help you, and how important it is to think in a positive way. Instead of asking the 'Why?' question, try to formulate it like a 'How?' question. Using the previous examples this becomes: How can I generate more traffic to my website? How can I add this functionality to my website? By asking the questions that way, your mind automatically focuses on coming up with solutions for your problem instead of why it's not giving you what you want.

When you face a problem or a setback of any kind, think about this. Make sure you ask yourself a 'How' question and that you formulate it positively to use your brain in the best possible way. You could bookmark this post and read it again when you face a problem. I hope these insights help you with every problem you face in the future.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts,

Camille