A Few Steps of my Journey
Personally, I've always been a writer. By far, my favourite class in high school was English Composition. Every other class included dreaded homework, which often didn't get done, in my case. English Comp, however, was the class where I looked forward to the assignments with barely-contained anticipation. At the time I saw myself as the next Stephen King, Frank Herbert, or even Robert A. Heinlein.
Leaving school forced me into the 'normal' life of a nine-to-five job to pay for my new-found freedom. I got caught up in paying my own way, and all the new things my self-sufficiency allowed me. Somehow, my love of writing got put on the back burner, and eventually didn't seem so important anymore.
The strange thing was that as I got older, all the jobs I had never went anywhere. Those that DID offered the chance for advancement fell victim to my unconscious sabotage, although at the time I never understood why.
By the time I was in my thirties I knew I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, but for some reason and to my considerable grief, I was unable to realize where my path was supposed to lead me. Although I was living quite comfortably, successfully teaching English to corporate leaders in Mexico, I knew I didn't want to be doing it forever. Strangely, though, teaching English was among the best jobs I'd ever had. It just wasn't 'it'.
Looking back now, it's interesting to see how all my favourite forms of employment have been consistent in their purposes. Starting out in several family endeavours, I spent years in different positions in the food service industry, and later in renovations and, of course, in teaching. Apparently, trying to help people improve their lives is where my interests have been, but not until recently have I fully understood that writing is what I most wanted to do, whether as a means to inspire others or to entertain them.
The point to this story is to attest to the mistake I made as a young man in believing completely in the opinions of others, and their fear-based opinions of appropriate life choices, instead of listening to my heart's clear path. I can only imagine where I would be now, in my forty-fifth year, had I done what I now believe was my inevitability.
At the same time, I am reluctant to regret any decisions, as all the time spent doing other things has, of course, brought me to exactly where I find myself today: I am happy, I live with a woman and a son who love me unconditionally, and when I write, it comes easily and always from the heart, where I know my personal truths and cosmic connections lay.
Some of my roads have been wayward and decidedly painful, but, now I would not choose any other path, for fear of not being the person I am today, with the incredible potential destinations so obvious to me just up ahead.
Regret is a waste of time, and while you're focusing on your past, how can you watch where you're going? Do yourself an enormous favour and forgive everyone and everything in your past, including yourself, and look to where you are. Only then will your vision be ready to look forward to where you want to be. I'd wish you luck, but...
Like always, it's entirely up to you.
Light, love, and the strength to become more.
Michael B.
Recent Comments
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You are exactly where you are supposed to be, and looking back is just the journey taken. So glad you are seeing your light!