Capital-ism Explained

Last Update: Sep 4, 2017

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1.4K followers


Capitalism Explained Perfectly by 'ecowconomy101'

Capitalism for different countries is explained with the use of cows with a heavy dose of humour!

Traditional Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell one and then buy a bull. Our herd multiplies and the economy grows so we sell the herd and retire on the said income.

American Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell 3 to our publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by our brother-in-law at the Bank. We then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that we get all 4 cows back as well as with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights then of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholders. They sell the rights to all 7 cows back to our listed company and the annual report says our company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. We sell one of the cows to buy a new President of the United States which leaves us with 9 cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release and the public buys our bull.

Australian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell one and force the other cow to produce the milk of 4 cows. We are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and then go on strike because we want 3 cows.

Japanese Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but we redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of any ordinary cow and produce 20 times more milk. We then create clever cow cartoon images and call them Cowkimon and then market them world wide.

German Capitalism:

We have 2 cows which we re-engineer so they live 100 years and eat only once a month and milk themselves.

British Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but both are mad.

Canadian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, they are. The one speaks French the other speaks English. One fights to create a new country and the other won't let it BUT both play Ice Hockey rather well.

Italian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but we don't know where they are so we break for lunch.

Russian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows so we count them and learn we have 5 cows. So we count them again and learn we have 42 cows. We count them again and learn we have 12 cows so we stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

Swiss Capitalism:

We have 5,000 cows none of which belong to us but we charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

Chinese Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we have 300 people milking them so we claim full employment and high bovine productivity. We arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

New Zealand Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and think the one on the left is kinda cute ...

For more information: http://www.thinkinghumanity.co...

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ? Oscar Wilde.



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Recent Comments

37

Carol - This is really a very funny post. Each one has an element of truth, which is what makes them so funny. Like Oscar Wilde points out, make it funny or their coming for you. Thanks for sharing this.

So true, Patrick, it's the fact you can see some truth in them that makes them amusing!

I don't know who said it but here it goes." A capitalist will sell the rope to a communist who will then use the rope to hang the capitalist.."...

John

So true, John!! Thank you for popping by :))

LOL! Spanish cow...El Vaca Flaca keep them skinny so the bulls aren't distracted from entertaining the matador!

LOL so funny, Michael! It reminds me of a song, do you remember the song several years ago, Cows with Guns

Carol

Very clever. My heritage is Italian and their definition fits my personality! I'm off to lunch, now....
Debbie

Hahaha! yes, the truth of it is a bit scary!

Great and funny explanation. Thank you for making me laugh

You're welcome, Sylvia, I had a laugh too :))

Clever and funny, Carol. Thanks.:)

Very smart and funny, Vera :))

It's all true and that is what makes the statements funny

yes, Pablo, I thought so too :))

That is so good Carol the tricky thing is that it kind of rings true scary to a degree.

That's what I thought, close to the truth which is scary altho I saw the humour in it :))

It was so humorous and that is scary to it is like we all have this sense that things may not be sustainable long term.

It looks the traditional capitalism is the best of all.

Liberal capitalism that's for sure, Jimmy. This is a description of diverse political and economic systems by which different countries are governed.

Relatively, but not to the extent of libertinism.

Thanks for the laugh, Carol

I must admit it hit my funny bone, Arnold :))

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