Capital-ism Explained

Last Update: September 03, 2017

Capitalism Explained Perfectly by 'ecowconomy101'

Capitalism for different countries is explained with the use of cows with a heavy dose of humour!

Traditional Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell one and then buy a bull. Our herd multiplies and the economy grows so we sell the herd and retire on the said income.

American Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell 3 to our publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by our brother-in-law at the Bank. We then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that we get all 4 cows back as well as with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights then of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholders. They sell the rights to all 7 cows back to our listed company and the annual report says our company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. We sell one of the cows to buy a new President of the United States which leaves us with 9 cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release and the public buys our bull.

Australian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we sell one and force the other cow to produce the milk of 4 cows. We are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and then go on strike because we want 3 cows.

Japanese Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but we redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of any ordinary cow and produce 20 times more milk. We then create clever cow cartoon images and call them Cowkimon and then market them world wide.

German Capitalism:

We have 2 cows which we re-engineer so they live 100 years and eat only once a month and milk themselves.

British Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but both are mad.

Canadian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, they are. The one speaks French the other speaks English. One fights to create a new country and the other won't let it BUT both play Ice Hockey rather well.

Italian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows but we don't know where they are so we break for lunch.

Russian Capitalism:

We have 2 cows so we count them and learn we have 5 cows. So we count them again and learn we have 42 cows. We count them again and learn we have 12 cows so we stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

Swiss Capitalism:

We have 5,000 cows none of which belong to us but we charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

Chinese Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and we have 300 people milking them so we claim full employment and high bovine productivity. We arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

New Zealand Capitalism:

We have 2 cows and think the one on the left is kinda cute ...

For more information:

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ? Oscar Wilde.

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verazhelvis Premium
Clever and funny, Carol. Thanks.:)
Carol46 Premium
Very smart and funny, Vera :))
pablocortina Premium
It's all true and that is what makes the statements funny
Carol46 Premium
yes, Pablo, I thought so too :))
AlexEvans Premium Plus
That is so good Carol the tricky thing is that it kind of rings true scary to a degree.
Carol46 Premium
That's what I thought, close to the truth which is scary altho I saw the humour in it :))
AlexEvans Premium Plus
It was so humorous and that is scary to it is like we all have this sense that things may not be sustainable long term.
accad Premium
It looks the traditional capitalism is the best of all.
Carol46 Premium
Liberal capitalism that's for sure, Jimmy. This is a description of diverse political and economic systems by which different countries are governed.
accad Premium
Relatively, but not to the extent of libertinism.
ArnoldH1 Premium
Thanks for the laugh, Carol
Carol46 Premium
I must admit it hit my funny bone, Arnold :))