6 months with WA

byBrielle

190 followers

8 years ago

So I just logged into WA after a few months of not being able to, and found out that I have now been a member for 6 months and have received my 6 month badge. However, I am writing this post with a broken heart. Seven months ago, I temporarily moved back home to New Jersey from Los Angeles, CA to become my mother's full time caregiver. She experienced a reoccurrence of breast cancer with a progression to Stage 4. My mom fought until her very last breath but the cancer that came back this time was way to vicious and I believe the medical staff was negligent with her care. I am currently experiencing some guilt because I wish I was more knowledgeable the first time she was diagnosed with cancer and we would have sought out alternative options instead of being scared into going the conventional route. The poison that is chemotherapy and the negligence from my mother's medical staff lead my 56 year young mother to her premature death. She is the only person I had and now I am devastated, heartbroken, scared, and all alone.

It has not even been a month since I lost my beautiful loving mother, but I am trying to find things to temporarily focus my mind on and find motivation to go on. For these reasons I thought I would log onto WA to try to force myself to try to focus on my online business that I set out to start 6 months ago. I'm just so lost. I don't know where to start. I was only at the start of getting my website up and running. I feel like I forgot everything I learned here. So I don't know if I should just start at the beginning of Course 1 and just start all over. I was just learning Wordpress, so I am going to have to retrain myself on that as well. In addition, I have to determine if I am going to continue trying to work the kinks out of theme I purchased or purchase another one.

The only thing that I do know is the niche and online business that I want to pursue. My niche is Music Classifieds. I want to create a music classifieds business (similar to Craigslist but with a modernized look) that provides a listing of gigs, place to sell and buy equipment, connect with others in the industry, and insider industry tips, tools, and recommendations. I definitely want to get back at creating this website because music is my passion. I am a music artist and I want to provide a website that will provide everything that a new, independent, or even seasoned artist needs to have a successful career.

However on the other hand, after recently losing my mom to cancer, I feel like I want to start an informational cancer website that provides easily accessible information to alternative cancer treatment options. Or I might want to start a journal blog where I just talk about how I feel after losing my mom or a site on how to cope with losing your mom. These ideas may just end up being passion projects if I pursue them though. I have no clue just thinking out loud as my mind is so cloudy right now.

Getting my 6 month WA badge should be a joyous occasion however for me, I feel nothing but pain and heartache from losing my mom. In addition, this badge isn't an accomplishment for me because I have not been able to be active and persistent with working on my online business. So for me this badge only means that I paid my monthly membership for 6 months :(