Alittle background of who i am, what my niche is, and the difficulties I've faced.
So, I feel like I should do a little more in depth about me which I could also transfer to my domain once registered.
My name is Blair Field, age 28. I have been born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I am also a recovering opiate addict. I first came into contact with opiates after I graduated high school, honours with distinction - 94% average. I never could figure out what I wanted to pursue after high school - so I didn't pursue any secondary education. Although, I had always been told since I was a child by all my teachers through all my years that I would make a great lawyer - and I wanted to as well. I had passed grade 12 law with a 97%. The thing that stopped me from pursuing it was that there are a lot of starving lawyers out there, so with all the years it would take, and the amount of money I decided not to. Ironically, I ended up on the opposite side of the law and needing a few, and spending over 20k on one which I will get into later.
Anyways, as a child, around the age of 5 I started to become morbidly obese - which would follow me my entire life, until my incarceration in a federal prison at the age of 22, for my major involvement in cocaine trafficking - but I'm getting a little ahead of my self so let's go back abit. I was a very angry and demanding child. I was horrible. Around the time I started becoming obese, I would scream and yell for food, non-stop til I got it. I remember even banging on the walls, ceiling ect til I got my way. Those actions followed into Middle school. In grade 5, in the school and out - I was a very, lets put it this way, uncontrollable and violent kid.
Before going to middle school i was picked on constantly due to my weight, we all know how cruel kids can be. 1 day during a French class in grade 4 we were learning animal words. The kid across from me had the word whale...so he said it as he pointed at me and laughed - along with the other kids. Teacher didn't say a word. I was so fed up with the abuse I just snapped and lost my ****. I sat across from this kid and all I could see was red tunnel vision, binder in my hands, I was vibrating excessively. Boom, I cracked and whipped this binder at that kids face as hard I possibly could - which ended up splitting his head open. I still wasn't satisfied, in total black out mode. Now of course the teacher intervened - had she when he publicly humiliated me in front of the entire class, she would have saved that kid from getting his head stitched back together - I know she heard what he said and did she was standing right behind me.
So needless to say, principles office, suspended - and she didn't even acknowledge the reason why this happened. I guess it was completely acceptable to harass kids back then. My mom was working or training to become a nurses aid, which she's been doing now for over 20 years, so my dad picked me up. My mother and father divorced when I was really young, at the age of 2. He asked me what happened and why I did what I did, so I told him. He wasn't angry at all, in fact he said the kid got what was coming to him, and told me he would never be mad at me for sticking up for my self and to not let it happen, do something about it, he gave me his permission to kick the **** out of anyone who did to me. Told me he wouldn't tell my mom - and didn't, then took me out for ice cream. He was proud of the fact I stood up for my self, I told him I was being teased and harassed because of my weight. So from that point on, That's exactly what I did. It had the desired effect, and kids no longer said cruel things about me - at least not to my face Or anywhere in ear shot.
At the end of grade 4, my mom was able to purchase a house again finally after having to claim bankruptcy after the divorce - the very same house that I am writing this from. I carried that reputation over into middle school, and made it very clear the first time I was teased that it would not be tolerated - which also followed me into high school. So in grade 5, the principal of the middle school suggested I should be tested for add, adhd ect. Did the tests, and the diagnoses was A.D.H.D and depression - which apparently I expressed through anger and violence. Got put on 45mg of Dexedrine and 30mg of Prozac daily. It seemed to do the trick. Anger issues were no longer such an issue, and I was able to demonstrate a far more level of self control. Unfortunately, the Prozac greatly increased my obesity issue. In grade 9 I had weighed in at a whopping 309lbs - I wouldn't be that heavy again until the time I was incarcerated. Started smoking cannabis in the 9th grade, and also stopped taking my Prozac in the 10th. After I stopped the Prozac, in the 2nd half of the school year I had gym class and had dropped from about 320 to 270. I didn't see it, and anytime people would come up to me and say wow you've lost a lot of weighed I would freak on them, and very angrily reply with "no I (f bomb) didn't". I believe I can attribute this reaction due to the fact, that when I was younger, anytime I seen my grandmother - my dad's mom, she would always tell me that I'm losing weight, which I knew for a fact was a blatant lie. I never had the opportunity to meet my mother's parents...they were both killed in a car accident when i was still just an infant....which had actually taken place literally a 3 min drive from here..
I stopped talking/seeing my dad when I was in middle school after he falsely accused me of smoking cigarettes. I left his house after he was yelling at me about it, picked up a friend and was walking with him when out of no where my dad ripped up in his car, got out, screamed and chased me then picked me up by my 1 arm and hit me as hard as he could 4-5 times across my lower back. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. He suffered 2 heart attacks during those years - and at that time I couldn't give 2 **** if He died. He had a triple by pass surgery when I was in grade 10, and wanted to see me the night before to make amends in case he didn't make it.
Grade 10 was also the year that I started my drug dealing career. Only cannabis/hash/oil. I was a huge stoner, and dead set against hard drugs. Everyday from grade 10 and on I was high in school. Kind of ironic that those were the years that i also did the best academically. I graduated high school, honours distinction, with a 94% overall average. I also received the teachers recognition award. And was involved in peer counselling and peer tutoring.
After I graduated I got a job delivering dry-wall. It was at this time that I also decided to graduate to moving cocaine. I picked up an ounce of coke, and literally over night I blew up. Within a couple weeks I went from 1 ounce to 4 then 6 ounces a week. I didn't touch the stuff at first, I wouldn't end up trying my product for the first time til about a month later. Curiosity killed the cat, and cocaine use became a daily occurrence. Things were good, I was making good money, still delivering drywall (we got paid weekly and pretty much the entire crew was into blow - so Friday's were double paydays for me, my check plus around 2grand from people i worked with). After a little while, things went south at that job and I got laid off over some bullcrap, nothing to do with my illegal activities. So, I started selling cocaine as my full-time job, and boy oh boy did my sales ever increase.
Only a short few months later, I was offered a prospect position in a Hells Angel support crew, Southside Crew. I declined at first, but felt really obligated after my plug (my connect for coke) had said he put out his neck on the line and vouched for me to some important people because he wanted me in the crew. I pulled in a lot of money, and was solid - I was only 18 at the time.
Joining that crew was a mistake, and I knew it was when I was offered the position - but later that night I met up with him and another crew member and told them that I was sorry I didn't come off very enthusiastic about it and that I was just tired and not thinking clearly at the time, and put on a front acting like I was pumped about joining up. Joining that crew changed me. I became a very angry and violent person again. I ended up doing a lot of **** for them. Stuff that I am proud of, and stuff I can't go into details about. I will tell you this though, I moved around a lot of guns, kicked in a lot of doors, and was offered $30,000 to kill 2 people that were high up in the drug trade - which I didn't do. I also almost had to shoot my own cousin. A few months later, the crew dissolved and was offered to patch over to another support crew, I declined to go to that church meeting. I felt a very heavy burden lift off my shoulders. I made it out alive and in 1 piece.
I will continue this on another post. Would hate to lose everything I've typed thus far.
Recent Comments
3
A month or two later, my plug moved to Regina, and he pretty much 'sold' me to one of his child hood friends - who was also involved in that crew. The deal between those two was that I would get my product through his friend, and in return he would have to send him $2,000 a month. The last bag my original plug gave me before he left was absolute garbage - wasn't even worth the bag that the 6 ounces were in. Took me awhile to get rid of it, I was always known for having the best product - so this devastated my line. In hindsight, I shouldn't have paid him for it - but, I'm a man of my word and did so regardless. The year was 2008, and at that time the drug cartels were at war - so prices sky rocketed. I went from paying $1200 an ounce for pure uncut product, to $2000 . That's a very hefty increase, especially with the amount I was getting. It was during these times where I first tried prescription pills - I was hooked. It was also during these times where I literally pulled in a fortune - and if I wasn't so young and dumb - wouldn't ever of had to work another day in my life.
I ended up hooking up with a teacher's assistant from my high school, she became a customer. We became intimate. And she would be the sole reason why I got arrested in 2008, less than a year from when I first started selling cocaine - but everything happens for a reason I suppose because that arrest , which eventually landed me in prison, changed my life for the better in so many ways. Prison was the best thing that ever happened to me, which I will get into later. I was picking up and selling waaayyy to much product to have it anywhere near my house, so I ended up using her apartment as a safe house (first mistake). We were driving one day and she said hey, some buddy's of mine are looking to score, could you hook them up? I was very cautious about who I dealt with, and instinctively I asked her how do you know these people, have you partied with them before ect (meaning, have you used drugs with them or seen with your own eyes). She proceeds to tell me that they are old friends, and that she has partied with them. Good enough for me, I took her word for it, but I told her I'm not meeting them, you can do it. She lied, she didn't know these guys at all, they turned out to be undercover cops for major crimes/ organized crime unit. One night they had her place under surveillance, made an order, I go there to give her the chop - and being a stupid dumb kid, dressing flashy and drawing all kinds of attention to my self, it was easy for them to pick me out - even from never seeing me before. Whatever, I give her the stuff, tell her to call me when she has the cash and I'll stop by later that night to pick it up.
I had a feeling in my gut that something was wrong, she hadn't called me yet. Which was strange . About 10 minutes away from my place , I get the cherry (cop lights) behind me. It didn't even cross my mind what was about to go down. I pull over and start hiding all my phones (i carried 3 on me during those days) - before I could even shut my middle console I'm getting ripped out of the car and told I'm being arrested for drug trafficking. It still hadn't clicked in yet what happened to her but it should have. And it so happens my best friend was with me and they arrested him too, but he had zero involvement with what I was doing. He just came a ride because we were out having drinks. I told him I had to stop by this chicks place and then we were going back to his pad to play some ps3.
It was when I was sitting in the interrogation room when it finally dawned on me what happened. I told them I would cooperate with them, but I'm not a rat and I'm not giving up any names. I told them yes, I sell coke, my friend has no idea what I'm involved in he was just coming for a ride with me , we were out having drinks before that and we were on our way back to his place to play ps3. Now, this is something you have to understand. I would have gotten off with ALL CHARGES if had kept my mouth shut, everything they did was illegal, but my friend would have got charged too because he was with me - and he had zero involvement in it and there's no way I could let him take a charge - so I incriminated my self so they would let him go. And they did. He later told me that the cops said he's lucky I'm such a solid friend, and that if it was anyone else besides me, that they would have thrown him under the bus and I would have walked. Safe house for raided, where I lost $20,000 in product (that was yet to be paid for) , my house - where around $8,000 was taken (the cops only reported I think around $1,400) . So I was up shits creek.
Now, I owed some pretty serious people $20,000, and i had NOTHING. But because I stayed solid, and kept my mouth shut - I didn't give up any information on anyone , I wasn't forced to pay that cash. But again, being the person I am, I my self felt obligated to help. I restarted my line a week later, and was picked up again for the same thing, but this time it happened because I was driving another buddy of mine around on his line he operated to get some extra cash to settle the debt, plus put money aside for lawyer fees. The teachers assistant in was seeing was charged with the 10 ounces of pure coke in her house, and turned informant. Buddy said we need to go see her, I said no we are not meeting her. He said okay, well go here. He lied to me and it was her. The next night we were arrested.
Fast forward a few years, I'm still an opiate addict, I go on methadone to get off the pills. I do good, I stay off of them. I came to faith in Christ , resulting from a suicide attempt. You need to understand that after i was arrested twice and my whole life crashed down on me, I became very self destructive. Severely depressed for years leading up to my sentencing (took 4 years before i was sentenced, 2 of those years I was in a 24 curfew couldn't leave the house except for work). Everyday for those entire 4 years I woke up every morning and the first thought and words that came out of my mouth was I hate my life and want to die. So one day I decided well, this is day. I grabbed 1 of my hunting knives and stuck the tip of it in my wrist - and for whatever reason, I plead to God (I was a dead set atheist my entire life) , God, if you exist I need to know now more than ever - if you do and this isn't meant to happen just give me a sign. No word of a lie, as soon as I started pressing down blade to slit my wrist...the phone rang. I looked at the number, it was my mom. I answered the phone trying to keep my composure and she asked me if everything was alright - and that she would be home in 2 mins and needed help carrying in groceries. I hung up, dropped the knife and cried harder than I had ever cried before. I guess i got my answer after all...
The storm is ending - light at the end of the tunnel..that moment is where my life began to change DRAMATICALLY, the new me was born. I started attending church, I had a spiritual awakening, less than 2 weeks before I was sentenced I got baptized.
Enter Prison - the best thing that ever happened to me...
I'll finish this up later.
Very interesting story. Keep writing it and putting it on the wind. I would like to hear where this has lead you.
I wish you all the best and I hope you are feeling much better about yourself, it sounds like you have turned things around and I know the feeling of meanness as I use to suffer from Epilepsy but i had a brain operation to fix things so I do not have sezures any more. High school can be tough and mean when you are not perfect and I was damaged goods. I wish you all the best Blair and I am happy you are with WA