Is it ok to cry?
Let me cry ... please!
There’s nothing as therapeutic ... as a good cry!
Crying is not a sign of weakness! Crying is a emotional experience that releases healing hormones and triggers responses, in the mind and body, to overcome the sadness and anxiety we are feeling!
A recent study showed that 85 percent of women and 73 percent of men feel less sad and angry after shedding some tears.
So why do we say things to our loved ones, such as ...
- It ok dear ...
- Don't cry it will be alright ...
- Let's see a smile on that pretty face ...
- Head up, and soldier on dear ...
- Suck it up and get back to work ...
The person's response might be ...
- If it were ok, I would not be crying
- If I thought it was going to ok, I would not be so sad
- I don't feel like smiling, I am feeling sad and anxious
- I am not a soldier ... I need time to process this
- I am not ready to get back to work ... I need a few moments
The reason we say these things is that when someone cries we feel anxious and uncomfortable. We were probably raised hearing the same phrases ... there, there dear .. it is alright, don't cry!
So as Adults, we console our children and close friends by repeating what we were told and yes, the tears dry up ... but has the person resolved their pain or anxiety? Probably not ... they have not had time to process all of their feelings and are left with unreleased stress and anxiety.
Did you know that crying has been proven to lower blood pressure and the pulse rate immediately following therapy sessions, where they cried to release pent up anger, hurt and anxiety.
Crying also reduces the body’s manganese level, which impacts mood and is found at a higher volume in tears than in the blood. Elevated manganese levels are often associated with anxiety, irritability and aggression.
Some mammals appear to produce tears, but humans are the only species to shed tears in response to emotional stress. In fact, crying signals trust and understanding in relationships, elicits compassion and draws individuals closer to one another.
When was the last time you had a good TEAM CRY?
When you, or a loved one are feeling overwhelmed and fighting back tears, find a quiet place to cry together, be supportive and connect, letting it all go together!
It might very well be exactly what you both need!
What???
Crying Therapy ... that is going too far, Allan!
I totally disagree ... in hypnotherapy, we often touch on sensitive and emotional memories or feelings and the tears often flow freely. Encouraging a client to cry and "to let it all out" gives them permission to be vulnerable and safe in my care. This lowers their resistence and allows them, often for the first time, to "let it go" .. to release the stress, anxiety, pain and allow the natural healing to take place!
It is the most wonderful experience, ever!
So the next time somone you love is crying ... instead of saying "It's ok, dear, don't cry" say "Let's both let it go, so we both can heal"
Awaken Your Potential
Love to all ...
Allan Curtis
Certified Professional Hypnotist
Recent Comments
75
Allan,
This post hits home for me, I am one who has always
thought of crying as showing weakness. I am very
independent and fearless so to cry for me is not one
of open expression in front of others.
Your explanation here helps me so much to know that
possibly crying is not such a bad thing after all.
Thank you,
Susan
Susan, I hope you will accept this as the truth ... our belief comes from what we were told at a young age!
Don't be a baby
Grown girls don't cry
Suck it up
Get over it
Put on your big girl panties
... etc.
All of these are negative messaging and deliver feelings of shame, guilt, and failure to meet the expectations of our parent or person in authority.
It is likely they were told the same thing as they were growing up and each generation passes the message on to the next!
I am always amazed at how actions and words are duplicated from parent to child ...
If it is not painful, for you to do so, think back and see if you can establish where those feelings came from.
Allowing yourself to feel emotions and release them fully, is such an amazing feeling ... it is beyond description in words!
My clients, often describe it as feeling free! 💖
Allan
Allan, I am butting into your post, I hope you don't mind.
Hi Susan, my gosh it has been awhile. Hope you are doing well.
I used to do my crying in the rain, or jump in the shower. Crying is OK.
All the best,
Michael
Yes, Michael, I welcome your input ... a shower is a great place for a "private" cry! LOL
Michael,
Good to see you, my friend, I have been around just not
publically here at WA. Doing work on my websites and
trying to make the most of every day.
Miss you and everyone here, but with so much work to
always be done need to keep moving forward.
Catch up soon?
Luv ya,
Susie
Hi Allan, to cry is to be human. People just try to ease the pain one is feeling when they say don't cry it will be alright. Crying is a positive release of a painful event. Sometimes just holding someone just to let them know you are there to support them is a positive way to handle the situation. Our words can not take away the pain someone else is feeling.
Great post Allan.
Best wishes,
Michael
Hi Michael, yes, sometimes words are not necessary ... just sharing in the moment can say so much!
Thanks for your input ...
Allan
This must be mind blowing for conventional thinking although I have believed to let people cry it all out is the best thing to do...Thanks for confirming that;)
R.
Rami .. I believe we are uncertain how to react to vulnerability and therefore are uncomfortable dealing with someone we love being hurt to the point of crying.
We just want to make it all better, and see the tears in a negative rather than a positive view.
It may be a bit unconventional ... but then I am a bit of a "disruptor" ... a thought provoker! LOL
Allan
Really great post!
It's so true. During the therapies that I do with children, some teenager can sometimes cry. They are very uncomfortable and apologize because they think this is not a thing to do. But as you say so well, I make them understand that crying is beneficial and that it is the best thing to do when we feel the need. It is true that this is not at all a sign of weakness, it is just our body which needs to release emotions and there is nothing healthier.
Ingrid
Ingrid ... yes, young people are reluctant, as it is not "Cool" to cry!
Everything we are told and watch on TV or experience with friends reinforces this negative image of crying!
My post was triggered by a comment from a client ...
"I never cry ... as I can not let my guard down, I feel too vulnerable"
I was watching the movie "Everest" last night and the tears were flowing (very intense movie) and I found myself brushing them away, hoping my wife did not notice ... how silly is that! LOL
We all have ingrained beliefs that control our behaviours ...
Best wishes in your work with Children ... there are so many in desperate need!
Allan
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Such a great message, Allan. Sure we need to cry, there's nothing bad or weak about it. It's the sick society that says men don't cry and such statements.
I don't cry often but I sometimes cry watching a movie that is emotional. It's as if I was in the same situation and felt the emotions.
Hi Lenka ... becoming connected to entertainment events such as movies, plays, and concerts are great examples of how we utilize Hypnotic trance in our daily lives.
We are able to feel, experience and become emotionally connected to the story and empathize with the characters, through focussed concentration.
Being "in the zone" is really a hypnotic experience!
Enjoy those experiences ... the entertainment world depends on it, but more importantly, you benefit greatly by allowing your mind to visualize and empathize with events outside of your immediate environment!
We are only beginning to learn of the power of the mind ... so much more to come as our knowledge expands and we shed the limiting beliefs ...
Sorry, I get excited just "talking" about the possibilities ...
Best wishes,
Allan