My Story the First Post
Hi Everyone,
I am being brave and looking for some constructive feedback on My Story the first post of my website. This is one of 2 Niches I am working on in tandem the second being far more fun. However I am focused on this Niche also as it has had a profound affect on my life, although in a positive light it led me to this wonderful community.
Please let me know your honest thoughts?
Me Menopause My JourneyPosted by: admin Posted on: April 27, 2018
Hi Everyone and welcome to Menopause Haven, a place where I can help you to identify early symptoms and delights that perimenopause and the menopause can bring, this is all from personal experience. I would like to lend support, a place to share advice and help on how to combat these pesky hormonal changes we face, that can cause complete and utter chaos in our everyday lives, that we don’t even recognise sometimes or don’t want to, because we simply don’t know WHY we feel the way we do or WHAT we can do about it ??? and when I say chaos that is possibly an understatement as I discovered for myself.
MY STORY FROM 2014 TO PRESENT DAY
I have always had a very outgoing personality, I love to be around people, help people and generally enjoyed life to the full and never without a smile. In 2014 my life was completely on track, I had just got married for the first time at 47, as I had spent my younger days on the stage performing in musicals and travelling the world.
Also in 2014 I secured a new job with great potential and was gifted as a wedding present 2 beautiful Mainecoon Kittens who we bought into our family unit. Life was great and I certainly had nothing to be down or negative about. I am also incredibly lucky to have a great set of friends, a very supportive husband and close family around me. So as you can see I have absolutely nothing to complain about, be low or negative about anything …….. so WHY the sudden change?
I went from being a genuine happy girl, in the gym 4/5x a week, meeting up with friends for lunch, hosting dinner parties, being proactive at work and generally fun to be around.
Almost overnight my whole postive outlook on life vanished from me completely, without any warning or build up, without any relationship issues, without any financial troubles and still in a really good job – what is going on?
From the outside I still portrayed a reasonable demeanor however when I look back I had become really snappy at home and quite possibly towards friends without realizing. I would pretend to go to the gym and tell porky pies about where I’d been, as usually would drive around for an hour or two to pass the time. I would do the same at home to, pretend to be busy or I was going for a run, but actually spend hours sitting on my bed staring out the window. At work instead of going for lunch with colleagues, I’d sit in the car for an hour staring into space.
Another huge detriment of what seems like an overnight shift in personality is the weight gain, you suddenly see yourself in a different light and although you think this has also happened overnight, you then start to wonder how long it has taken to gain a significant amount of pounds which is obviously going to take hold, when you can’t get your lazy self off your butt and go and exercise regulary but, when you are in that vague, vacant state of mind (fog brains) you have zero motivation to do anything at all and I really do mean anything.
How long has this really been going on for?????
Adding issues month by month and not even realizing – overweight, lack of motivation, no self confidence, major anxiety, depressive moods, iritability, foggy brain and I have not even mentioned the restless, sleepless nights which I completely ignored as never really suffered with hot flashes in bed. Oh NO, mine didn’t come at night, they came bang in the middle of management meetings, presentations or networking functions, I had to partake in and not an easy task when a big percentage of your audience is male.
In conjunction with all of this and because of my lack in confidence and the vague sence of presence I was stuck in, I had completely missed what experience I was going through within my work environment. I guess you could say that my state of mind would not of contributed postively to the situation, but I was being pushed out with under-handed comments about my age, being female, being paid to much, which eventually led to me resigning from my position as I could not take the continual badgering in my current state.
THIS HAD TO STOP ……..
I needed to find my mojo again, I did not want to gain anymore weight, I wanted my confidence back and be back on top form to continue my career in an environment which supports and understands the menopause.
I wanted to be POSTIVE, OUTGOING, FULL OF LIFE AND ENJOYING IT again – How How How
DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE
There quite simply is not enough awareness especially in the work place, when it comes to everyone understanding, how debilitating the menopause can be – it’s almost like a swear word and we need to change that.
We forget what an affect that this can also have on our partners, and loved ones – they also need to understand the symptoms to be able to support us through this decade, and not feel like they are being attacked or that it’s something that they have done wrong.
Educate our Partners: To know what to expect / Not to take it personally / Share there feelings /Know when its serious and seek help but above all else stay optimistic – it will pass.
I’m not looking to wave a magic wand to take the symptoms away, they are going to come no matter what in some format or another, in some cases unfortunately more severe than others but I can share with you, what I have learnt along my menopause journey to date and ensure you that speaking out and sharing is so much better than hiding and denying.
Menopause causes chaos in many womens lives, here are some factual findings:
49% of women who were experiencing symptoms leading up to the menopause didn’t realise this was due to the perimenoapuse e.g. the time before and after the actual menopause.
61% of women suffer from anxiety due to per menopause.
Those aged 50 – 55 are the most anxious.
71% of the 41-55-year-olds said they experience low moods which could be attributed to the perimenopause.
74% of women in their early 40s struggle with low mood – the largest of any age group.
33% of women embarrassed by symptoms at this time of their lives.
ONE THIRD of the entire female population – a staggering 13 million women will have no choice but to ride through it.
GET BACK ON TRACK
There is absolutely no point in suffering in silence, speaking out not only helps you stay away from a dark place, it helps those that love and respect you to understand that sometimes, you don’t even connect or understand WHAT and WHY is happening.
Its almost going back to basics and taking one step at a time, only this time round you have 1,000,000 other responsibilites to contend with, alongside the hormonal come back.
I never thought in my twenties & thirties being resilient, fit and healthy, that I would be a sufferer I was far to strong of a character to be beaten by anything debilitating in my life – boy was I wrong!
Quote – When Life Changes to be Harder, change yourself to be stronger.
If you are ever feeling alone or need some friendly advice , feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.
Remember – Women have to deal with everything Pregnancy, Childbirth, Breastfeeding, Menopause, Hotflashes Men have to deal with Women.
Alison_Jane
Recent Comments
2
That's a terrible experience, Alison but thanks you were able to cope and regained your confidence.
Hi, Allison. Thanks for a very interesting article. I had surgical menopause after my hysterectomy at age 35. I remember having crying jags, anxiety, and mood swings. I took hormone replacement for awhile, but did not like the risk of breast cancer, and stopped.
I now have osteoporosis as a result.
My sister, who has had a blood clot in her lung due to blood clots in her leg, is unable to take any hormone replacements. She suffered with night sweats and hot flashes a lot.
I think this is a very informative article, Allison. I'm sure your website about menopause will be very helpful to a lot of women.
If you were planning to post your story on your website, I suggest you check to be sure you won't get penalized for duplicate content or accused of plagerism. You might need to rewrite it a little without losing any of this great content in order to publish it on your website. I suggest you click on the white pen at the top of your screen and ask the community to be sure.
Carol