Dogs Have Been One of My Greatest Teachers to Unconditional Love

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Updated 3 years ago

To my readers: If you have ever felt a need for genuine love but got ignored, were silenced, embarrassed, or ashamed to ask for emotional warmth and comfort, then perhaps we had that in common in our earliest years. I write this with care for the tenderhearted souls as I share in my home 'relation'. With years of healing I now see the treasure in the value this has taught me and the unlikely teacher that impacted my world through the power of 'unconditional love'.

The people I've met tend to think since I was born and raised in Hawaii I experienced an easier life and came from a well loved family. Although my culture is rich in its heritage with a diversity of people, stories shared of ancient kings and queens that once walked our lands, family gatherings and celebration in 'paradise', my earliest childhood was far from easy, let alone loving.

I have always believed in the structure of 'family' as being the most important foundation in every childs' life. It is one thing to provide the physical requirements in raising a child however, it is another matter where emotional needs are are often overlooked.

Parental responsibility equates to the providing of shelter, food, clothing, just to name a few. Whereas, emotional needs are met through validation by loving guidance and acceptance. This does not go to say parenting is ever without its areas of challenges. Children do not come with a manual. Like all starts in life, these young bundles of carefree babes, need a healthy balance of the two in order to gain the security they need to becoming a confident, well-rounded and emotionally intellent adult. This will give them that leverage they need to making better choices for themselves. Children experience the richness of their world through feelings. Without a sense of 'belonging', a healthy identity within the family structure, there is a missing piece at the core of who they are. I know this much because I speak from experience.

I was adopted by my maternal grandparents (in the 60's) because my birth mother was too young to raise me. Although I am grateful for this side of family structure, at the core of my being there was an emptiness growing. I longed to feel love but instead was reminded of their parental responsibilities done for me. Perhaps they believed by giving me a home, food and clothes, I would have no need of emotional validation. I would learn a deeper meaning of love not through family but with the help from my dogs. Here is an example to that. Like clock work my two caramel colored chihuahuas (brother and sister) would await my return home from school or peeking out the glass window. After I completed my homework I would ran them to a closeby park if the whether and my grandmother permitted. They were my best friends and more importantly a big part of my family. Through the difficult home years, they shared in my joy, loving me for the little girl I was and hoped to be. On a particular sad day I wanted nothing more than to vanish from the outside world. I shouted at my beloved Lady, to leave me alone but she was persistent so I brought her in. I felt bad and could do nothing more than sit on my bed and cry. She licked my tears and looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes as if to say, ' I'm going to kiss you happy'. She always managed to make me feel loved. I knew of heaven and felt wherever dogs go that's the place I'd like to be.

One day I remembered she was outside of her house barking. My grandfather failed in his attempts to quiet her down. In frustration and borderline anger, he picked up a dust broom and threw it at her. It missed her body but clipped her ear. She gave a loud cry and ran into her house. I think we both were shocked as I never saw him act in such a manner toward any of our pets. My grandmother tended to her ear and said Lady threw up. I was afraid she would die that night. I found myself laying in bed, upset, and praying. The next morning, my grandfather headed out. I was relieved to know she was her normal healthy self. Forgetting about time as children often do in play when my grandfather arrived back and he approached closer to us, she begged him for attention. I was still upset with him, in fact, I wouldn't blame her if she bit him. As he picked her up and held her in his arms, she gave him the fondest welcome home kisses I ever seen. I did not know unconditional existed until that blessed day.

This was many years ago but Lady still lives in my heart and cherished memory.

This is the kind of love I'm talking about that every child desires at their core. This is the love I give my furry pets and I'm learning to give to myself. From the book: You Can Heal Yourself by the late Louise Hay, she teaches the importance of mirror work. This is where I look into my eyes and say, "I love you, I really, really do love you!"

Have you told yourself you love yourself today?

[Image source: ShutterStock]