Fear. Hate. War.
I had a dream that I was in a writing class of some kind. There was some lady that was supposed to be my mother figure and also the teacher. There was a contest to win a super elite training course from the teacher of the class and I won. So I was spending some time figuring out what training course I wanted to take and I couldn't make up my mind. Meanwhile, everyone was congratulating me and blah blah. I was packing up my stuff to go to the elite classroom, which was a basement I think. And the teacher joined me and chose a course for me since I couldn't make up my mind.
Then we were in the middle of a battle. (Don't know why but my dreams suddenly change like that.) People were fighting and shooting each other. Then I realized that she had a gun and was also shooting people. I was just watching the madness. Watching people die and watching people kill. I had no idea why. I didn't really care why. I know I wanted to stop it but I was powerless. Then a man pointed a gun at me and all I could do was cover my face and close my eyes. He shot me. Then I woke up.
This all got me thinking. What's the point of fighting? What's the point of war and killing humans because they disagree with you? How do you muster up the courage to do something so terrible? And why is there so much hate in the word in the first place? Where or when did it start? And why does it persist? Why is it always us vs them?
This Us vs Them mentality stems from the first human tribes meeting for the first time. Both leaders had a job to do. To protect their tribe. And both their tribes were scared. So now both tribes are thinking Us vs Them. And their fear turns into war. Then stories about the war get told for generations and the mentality intensifies. Because no one wants to be them that dies.
It doesn't have to be this way now. And yet it still persists. Disagreements about race, religion, government, money and power still plague us. Because we think we're right and the others are wrong, therefore, they are evil and must cease to exist. Once we collectively realize that being different does not mean being evil; Once you realize that they aren't so different from us, then maybe the wars will stop and we can co-exist and humans on this planet.
But why is it so hard to get people to believe that all humans are created equal? Why is it so hard to get people to realize that there is no dominant race? (In fact, there is no scientific proof of race at all.) And get people to understand that there is no right way to live? Why is is so easy to just believe everything you watch on the news or watch on social media rather than doing your own research and forming your own opinions? Why is it so hard to say you don’t know? People always have to come up with bs instead of saying they don’t know.
The only answer I can give myself right now is:
Humans are complicated.
I had to get this out of my system. It's been driving me mad. I've been scared for too long and I'm tired of it. I'm fearing for my life because I'm black, queer and a woman. Well I'm not going to let fear that control over me anymore. I won't let fear take over anymore. I'm going to turn my fear into something productive and beautiful and strong.
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