Triggers
If only, this pain could go away
If only, I could wish it away
If only, I could wake up to find
That you are right beside my bed
Sometimes I wish I could.
A few minutes ago, I settled in to do some work on my website. And as usual, I love to work with music at the background, it soothes me and keeps me going for as long as my ears can send a signal to my brain that it is good music. So, I tuned into a music station in order to have access to a diverse playlist.
You see, my darling elder sister, Princess, passed away from Renal Failure on the 5th of November 2012, just two days after my birthday. And it changed my life forever. Now, my sister had the most angelic voice ever 😃. She sang in the choir and got invited to sing at weddings, parties and at other churches. She had the best adilibs, perfect pitches and was a joy to behold whenever she was doing what she loved best, singing.
Just as I settled in to work, Whitney Houston's Greatest Love Of All came on and it stopped me in my tracks. Then the memories came flooding in, the tears came trickling down. And, I could immediately hear my Princess singing Greatest Love Of All. She loved Whitney. She could sing all of her songs and had performed so many too.
I remember when Whitney released her single I Look to You, I called her up the moment I heard it and not surprising to me, she had also fallen in love with it and already purchased it. And ,when I like a song, I get her to sing it for me, could be over the phone or whenever we see and that was what I did, ask her to sing it over the phone for me.
When Whitney died, I cried so much watching her funeral on television that I began to ask myself why I was being affected this much. I had no idea that my sister was going to be gone a few months later🙁. I feel better now than I did last year but I still get a lot of triggers. She was gone before the World heard her, She was gone before her nieces and nephews could hear her, it was over before it began.
Listening to Greatest Love of All now, I wonder if it'd get any better, because when I want to call her up to sing my latest favorite tune, I'm reminded that she's never heard it and never will.
Rest In Peace My Princess.
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