Being a mom brought me to my spiritual awakening and gave me joy I never knew before

Love It, Live it and Laugh about it .

Hi my name is Jessica

:)

I named my blog , after my daughter Taylor Marie , she is what makes me smile laugh ... and cry . She also has helped me return to writing . I am in the perfect place ... no longer searching for something better . I can appreciate what I HAVE NOW .

Reading to Taylor and watching movies and playing with her and going to the park are now things i look forward to . Watching her learn and teaching her , spending time with her .

She sits with me as I write , and she brings her books to me to read to her . I think how can this be something that came from me .

Being a mom is a blessing for me .

I was caught up with , ME before , what I wanted and what I needed , what I looked like , what others thought of me . It was all about me . I never even knew what I wanted or needed or what I could accomplish . I was walking around blind in a sence . I was confused by media , I was confused about , myself .

I struggled with this idea , that I had to look a certain way act a certain way ... well that is all garbage . That is the midset of a person who is stuck and trapped in a prison and that prison my friend is your mind .

It is so powerful ... that you have to prove to yourself and your mind that you are breaking through those bars and chains that are holding you back .

How to get their is another thing . I prayed . i Spent lots of time away from people . I spent time getting to know myself and working on what I love to do what I am passionate about . I made that my focus . I grew what I loved .

I love to write and I love to learn and I love to be around people i know truly love me . With doing this . My life change . I was brought to a place of realization .

Yes some of those things are still important to me , but Tay is more important to me .

My affliction was gone . It blew my mind ,

And knowing Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour has made the most lasting all-round impact in my life.

I have become a better person a better mother , I feel less anxiety about my looks and what other's think .

All those things held me back before , now I am moving forward and I know my future is bright .

I will never let anyone blow out my flame to make theirs brighter .

I think I was so confused about that , It has been all about me since I was a baby . Now this is all new to me .

I have grown over the last 20 months , I have done things I never thought I could do .

It is by god's grace that we can have baby's it is truly amazing and shocking .

My labour and deliver were not easy ... I will spare you all the details . Let's just leave it at that .

Any ways Tay is 20 months now , she is turning into a wonderful toddler , she is so funny and loving and fun . She was an easy baby , but the adjustment was not easy ... I had never even changed a diaper before Taylor was born .

One thing is for sure my mom deserve 's more than a card on mother's day ... Now that I know what I know , I have appoligized to my mom several times.

Oh the things I put her through . I can only imagine .

She has always stuck by me no matter what . she shared the love of Christ with me as a little one and that protected me throughout my younger days . I now understand what she did as a mother for me . There is no amount of money I could ever give her to thank her .

i just want to be able to return the favor and look after her one day .

She told me something the other day ... " I did the best I could do at the time ."

It does not get any better than that .

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