Its all down hill and UP from here!
What an awesome feeling to be reconnected to the assurance of my greatness. It's not that I am saying that I, in myself, am great; I am only humbly stating how excited I am to be assured that I, in my purpose, am great.
I have always been very optimistic in my thoughts and actions. But as the road of life led me into scenarios that challenged, even violently at times, my optimistic outlook, I begin to doubt my purpose. The fear of not being who I believed that I was, begin to overwhelm my senses and manifested in my doubtful actions. In a matter of a few years, that in retrospect seemed like an eternity at the time, I had slipped into such a state of depression, that there was no way that I could save myself in my own strength. I had systematically destroyed my world, running from the fear that was fueled by my choice to not define it according to my purpose, as it took liberty in my apathy to do exactly what I feared it would do. The more I focused on the fear, it seems, the more the fear was made manifest in my life.
I can recall the time that the real power of fear began to come against my confident optimism. It was during the time that I began to allow my thoughts to be consumed with the fear that my son, who was born with a heart condition and required a series of surgeries to sustain his life, would die... and he did. Out of my control right? Yet, it was a real fear that manifested in my life, and because I didn't consider that event in my life, in faith of purpose, it opened the door for fear to begin it's campaign to oppress, successfully, the faith that was necessary to me accomplishing anything that I desired to do.
You see, it was at this point in my life, that I had no reference point, or source to draw instruction from concerning this fear that overwhelmed me (or so I reasoned in my understanding at the time). I knew no man, personally, who was equipped and willing to instruct me on how to operate in the faith of purpose when your son, your only son, your name sake, dies in your arms. Trust me, I looked. Did I meet some men who had been through a similar trial? Yes I did. Did I hear of stories told of families that experienced this scenario before me, and are doing well now? Yes I did. The problem wasn't if I can find A reference. The problem was, my fear had so overloaded my life's success mechanism, that I was incapable of processing the observation of that source. It was useless because there was no faith to give that story purpose. I had lost my son and the absoluteness of the end of my earthly experience with my son had defeated me. Not because it was stronger, but because I had accepted defeat in that area of my life. You wanna know how I know for certain that it was I who had accepted defeat? Every time my son would be spoken of, my involvement in that conversation would be from the position of me introducing the memory of the son I LOST. Every time I would think of Victor Glen Maurice, III, I would consider him, in memorial, as the son I LOST. In my thoughts I LOST. In my words, I spoke LOST. It was only natural, as fear worked it's way through me, that I would begin to produce from my actions, LOST.
As a man thinketh, so is he. When I thought LOST, I had to manifest LOST. So the more I considered lost in an area, the more lost had to be made manifest in that area. I begin to focus on the lost of my relationship and guess what happened? I begin to LOSE. I begin to focus on the loss of revenue in my business that put a strain on my relationship and guess what happened? I begin to suffer an even greater loss in my business. The constant thought of the loss I couldn't control, led to the loss of things I could control. It was an out of control spiral that spun into LOSS after LOSS. Fearing the purpose of the loss that was allowed in my life, I opened up the things that I was purposed to control, to be controlled by fear. The relationship strained the business, which strained other relationships, which drained the money, which sent me, fearfully, packing back to my native land, which strained those relationships, which completely severed all ties to those I loved so dearly. My acceptance of loss, out of fear because I was not in control, led me to losing all control in my life. Who owns something and can't control it. Anything out of your control is out of your ownership. I let the fear of not being able to control what was not in my control in the first place, overrun the real estate of my life, take control over, and pronounce his declaration of fear. As violently as this take over seemed, it was, after all only but what I allowed.
SOMETHING MUST BE CHANGED. I CAN NOT LOSE. I AM NOT A LOSER.
My kids and I, have this little ditty that we say to each other. The ditty is simple, but has been very transformative in my life over the past year. You see it took me having my faith restored in the optimism of the things I couldn't control to begin the restoration of what I could control. It took me longing for the ones I knew were ALL ME. It was the restoration of the faith in MY SEED's purpose that came, like a redeemer, to begin the rehab that was necessary for me to regain control of the things that I was purposed to have dominion over. I am amazed at the faith in promise, of a child. You see it was this testimony of faith, from my son Judah, that gave the shock necessary to awake the sleeping giant of purpose in my life. Now mind you, I am usually the one prodding the kids to recite the ditty as an affirmation, but it was my son's declaration that moved me to get up, and go back to my purpose of being a king. My son looked at me, with all of the conviction he could muster, and completely contrary to what was going on at the time, demanding my attention and professed into the most inner parts of me, his declaration of faith. My Son, Judah Leo-Paul Maurice, spoke as a matter of fact to me, " Daddy YOU are a champion. YOU are a winner. YOU are the best of the best. YOU are the best daddy ever." WOW!!! The fruit of my seed had ministered to me, a revival of sorts, when he affirmed my purpose, IN FAITH. My son's faith sparked my faith to overcome the fear that had, like a plague of locust ravaged the land. So here I am, committing this story to this blog, to announce to whatever fear that decides to take offense to me, that I AM A WINNER. I AM A CHAMPION. I AM THE BEST OF THE BEST.
I have been through the fire, not that I might be consumed, but that I may be refined. The things that are out of my control are allowed to shape me according to my purpose. I live in this thought, this belief, BY FAITH. The things that I am appointed to be in control of are afforded to me to affirm this operation of faith. When I focus on the faith that all things out of my control will be made to work together for my good, then I will be afforded, by this faith, all of the things necessary to control the things that I am ordained to control. Fear no longer belongs in the control room of my life because it was not giving to me as a controlling emotion. My faith In what I can't control, will give me the understanding, in application, how to manage and produce prosperity in what I can control.
It is of the utmost, that I understand that fear, on any level, lends to me losing control. As a champion, and a winner, and the best of the best, I must be conscious and proactive, in the administration of my control. As a wise king rules, with justice and the overall advancement of the kingdom as his motivator, it is imperative that I be conscious of the weight of responsibility and the power associated with ruling my life in a manner that cultivates all of the seeds of purpose planted in my life. It is my purpose to be the overseer of this garden called my life, so that it be in the best position to bear fruit, that bears more kingdom seed, that is planted in other places to bear more fruit, that bears more seed, that bears more fruit for generations to come. This is my purpose. To be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the land.
The only emotion that is capable of manifesting this purpose is my faith. Now that I have had the faith in me revived, its all downhill to UP from here. Every day is a day that I will expect to overcome another fear, great or small, in my life. I will pursue my purpose, on purpose because I know that I don't need concern myself with the things that I have no control over. I have faith to do that. NOW that I have faith, fear has no place, and must leave the control room of my life.
Now faith is the substance ( the makeup, the thing inside) of things hoped for (the thing you set your focus on) and the evidence (manifestation or revelation of the truth of the matter) of things not seen.
When you have faith that what you hope for will happen, that same faith then becomes the evidence, the matter of fact, the manifestation in your life as truth, to assure the thing that you don't even see.
LET'S GET IT CHAMP!
Feel free to comment below. I look forward to a dialogue with you.
You can also join me on my blog @ LOVE REAL ESTATE and HIP HOP