Do Not Delay Your Greatness!

I haven't been that active on WA in the last three days. I keep holding myself off from continuing into Boot camp training, and I believe, that, this will help you to understand, what has held me back.

I was asked to be a Test speaker at one of the Toastmaster's District Speaking Contests.

My club President called me late last Wednesday night out of desperation, (whilst working on my site), and asked if I could be the Test speaker, because the person who was meant to, pulled out at the last minute.

Naturally my reply was, "No, I am only a year old, this is too high a level etc, ."
He sounded sad when he said goodbye, and as I shut the phone call, my heart skipped a beat.

It felt like I had just done something very wrong and I needed to right it.

You see, this was the first time, I was going to speak in front of a "large" unknown crowd (my club has only 15-20 members), so you can understand my fear. However, this is not why. My fear was really something a little deeper than that.

For those who don't know what/who Toastmasters are; it is an organisation that was created to help people to become confident and to develop their skills at public speaking.

When a person joins, they become a member of a local club for an annual membership fee (very much like joining WA's platform). They run meetings held once a week and follow a meeting agenda, giving people specific speaking roles as: Chair, Hospitality, Sargent at Arms etc.,

One of those roles is to be an Evaluator. An Evaluator introduces a speaker, takes notes on a speaker's performance and then gives a feedback giving a few commendations and recommendation for the speaker to improve in their next assigned speech.

Each year there are speaking contests held within clubs and then a district contest, in which all the top speaker's of each club compete to be in the division competitions and ultimately winning the spot to compete at the annual international competition.

Well, one of the competitions was for the top Evaluators of clubs and for this event they needed a Test speaker = Me.

The Evaluation contestants watch me speak for 4-7minutes, and then are escorted away for five minutes out of the room, before coming back and giving feedback on my performance, and how what they thought with, 2 Commendations and a Recommendation each, within a time limit of 2 minutes.
For the past year, my speaking mentor (yes, we get assigned one for the lifetime of our membership), has been telling me that I am a naturally gifted public speaker, who needs to get over my fears, which he thought was, the fear of rejection.

Oh yes, don't get me wrong, rejection is just one of those fears and of course, I just about peed myself the first time I got up in front of my own club (10-15 members) - until I got comfortable and safe, and was quite happy to just keep my speeches within the club level.

Whenever I participated in a club speaking contest, I made sure that I was disqualified by getting myself "timed" out, I would pause, and waited for just a couple of seconds after they flashed the red light from the back, before I finished.

Unknown to everyone, that was my cunning strategy, of never going further than club level contests. My evaluation was always, try not to go over the time.

Inside I knew that I have potential to speak well, but...a big but.....

.....this is.....

.....my real fear....

.....in my head, I have made myself believe that, if I get to the next level, I would have to WORK HARDER and MAKE MORE SACRIFICES.

..yup that is my fear, if you can call it that.

.....or, if you can understand what I am trying to get at.

I know that I have the potential, and I know this well, but I always hold myself back because I look at how much further I have to go and I would rather stay in the comfortable zone, that I have just reached.

So, when I got the last minute call of desperation from my President, that the contest needed a speaker and no-one else was available - I said no, but I eventually called him back and said yes, but at the same time, I had felt like I had, just taken a plunge into the mass of unknown waves.

In fact, I was quite happy on my little island of safety, that I had found and did not want to look for another. I did not want the pain of the 'next level' where I had to swim the waves to a bigger island.

Therefore, back track to my speech and the contest; I told myself that if there was ever a time for my dream of public speaking to take off, it was now or never (again that damn Elvis song, creeping in to my head as I write the very words).

.. I resolved in myself, that, if I burned trying, then, that was it, and I will hang my toastmasters up when it is done, and never, ever go back, but, if I survived, then I am going to run the course for the rest of my life.

It was a 'make or break' vow to myself.

I started writing Thursday morning and ended up writing 5 versions of my speech, practiced a hundred times (getting my facials right in front of our bathroom mirror).

I also kept my eldest daughter up on Friday night to tweak my timing and only stopped when she was about to fall asleep (which was, strategy, after midnight).

I was first to arrive at the venue on Saturday morning, with nerves going in all directions.

I was the first Test speaker of the day.

I think, I visited the bathroom about 10 times, one dear old member asked if I was okay, haha..... I wasn't! I wanted to RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

However, the contest began and after, what seemed in my mind a lifetime, and the suspense just about killing me, they finally called my name.

I got up - and the funny thing is, that at this precise moment, I no longer remembered what happened next, or what came out of my mouth, on that stage. My body must have been in automated motion.

By the time I reached the end of my speech, my mind finally came back to focus and my brain registered, that the audience were clapping, with a standing ovation.

I literally floated on air back to my seat - and my body shook as I listened to all six contestants give me my evaluation (which were all very positive and uplifting)....

By now you are probably thinking, okay so when are you going to tell, us (ALREADY), the reason for writing about this? and what has it got to do with anything at WA?

This is what I wanted to share.

I received a piece of gold from my whole experience, and for me, it has everything to do with WA.

One of the contestant Evaluators looked at me and said,

"... I want to encourage you, to use your voice, for those who have none. You have great potential to be more, but I sense that you have always held it back. Do not delay your greatness. Thank you for your inspiring speech."

I was astounded and moved by what this young man said - and without his knowing it, he gave me the very words that I really needed to hear.

Do Not Delay Your Greatness!

That is the reason, my friends.

I want to encourage you all as well, in the same strategy,.

My reasons may totally be unrelated to yours, but for whatever reason, that you find yourself holding yourself back, from achieving your greatest success; I shall repeat:

Do Not Delay Your Greatness!

I have been delaying myself from moving on to my next level of training, because through my first set of training:

-I know what is to be expected

-I understand that I have absolutely no excuse at all to fail

-I have the tools and enough skills to use them

-I have the ability to succeed

- I have a community of mentors behind me

And that is a summation of my fear: not of the "UNKNOWN" but of the "KNOWN".

Therefore, in closing, I implore you to understand your potential - to go beyond your comfort zone and self-imposed limitations (which was my case), and be even greater.

For myself, I now believe that I am ready more than ever, to start my new journey into Bootcamp Training.....

(Elvis singing in my head "Its now or never!....." )

..and, the good news is, I have not quit Toastmasters.