A bit of Depression
For the last 6 months, I've been dealing with a good bit of depression.
It started a bit after I moved to NC to live with my Fiancé and his family. To be honest, I was happy there. I was living with the love of my life and I got to see him every single day... The problem was .. I was just plain homesick. I missed my family and friends back at home. Very much so. I can honestly say I was starting to feel a little guilty, too. The hotel job I had was beginning to suffer as far as reviews and scores go. I didn't initially have a job when I first got there, but eventually ended up having 3 job offers in mid February. It was then, though, that I was trying to see if my Fiance would maybe consider moving to my home state of Alabama.
Before I continue, I need to stress the fact that my fiancé has Asperger's syndrome. He has a few quirks (i.e. He loves video games more than I do, and when a new game that interests him comes out he talks about it for weeks.), but aside from his quirks (which I do adore!), I would always forget. Sometimes he would have to remind me and then I'd feel bad. Had he not told me, I probably never would have even known.
On April 8th, I moved back to Alabama in thinking that he would visit in May and THEN move here when he could. But, instead we took a break, and then of course this depressed me even more. I wouldn't have left had I known that the break was going to happen. I would have just made plans to visit my home state instead. We're back together now, and I'm working on going back... I just have to save up for a car to do so (I flew in when I last moved there.)
After doing a lot of thinking about him, I think that I've come to the conclusion that it's also hard for him to accept such a big move. I wish I had thought about that beforehand. I was so selfish and foolish to not consider that he may not deal with the change so well here. Not to mention it's always super hot outside. And the humidity! Dear Lord! His allergies would be REALLY messed up.
A friend at work has been telling me that I should consider going to a doctor to be put on an anti-depressant. I know that this is not something I want to do, but all I've done is cried, prayed and hoped for a cheap reliable car to cross my path (I have also been looking on Craigslist.). I try to keep a positive mindset about my moving back, as it excites me. But as of late, I have these really intense days in which I spend crying. And everything is JUST FINE! So, this makes me question whether or not I need to actually try to go to this doctor. This same friend that suggested I go to a doctor (along with my fellow co-workers) do NOT want me to leave, though. My manager treasures me, but also knows that I'm trying to learn what I can about affiliate marketing. (She even encouraged me to create the hotel website that I have!). This IS something I'm wanting to turn into a full time career. (Note that! CAREER). This and YouTube (although I feel that most of my success will be here)
I'm sorry that this post is so long. I just feel as if I can trust everyone here.
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Recent Comments
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Hey its going to be ok. Take it one day at a time. write out a positive confession and learn it by heart so that you can speak to you. Go back to prayer and ask the Lord to cover your mind. Sometimes the Lord calms, the storm, other times he let the storm rage and calms His child.
Sometimes it's a matter of simplifying your life. I think we all get caught up on the few things that are going wrong or we don't like. Then we miss all the great things that are actually happening around us. And from my experience there is usually way more good things happening in our lives then bad if we take the time to look for it. When you do it really does make dealing with some of the bad things easier.
SBillips, hey thanks for sharing whats going on in your life. It seems like sometimes we get stuck between a rock and a hard place, but your doing the right thing by praying and trusting! I know its hard sometimes because we usually want an answer right away or for someone to make the decision for us (especially the tough ones) just remember god will see you through as long as you believe and put him first! It will all work out just take a deep breath and take it one day at a time, because in life well that's all we can truly do! You will be ok! I BELIEVE that!
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Hi SBillips,
When I was a little younger. Well a lot younger, I went thru a period of depression. DO NOT get involved with antidepressants. They will prescribe them. They are very dangerous and addictive and are not the solution. You cling to your faith and lean on it more.
You might to check Neville Goddard. He is (was) a 20th century religious philosopher and success creator. A highly respected solver of life's problem and a whale of a human being.
You can find him at freeneville.com. No cost and he will send you a daily solution-- if you like. He is really good.
Blessings to,
Dick